tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16232845.post115221976765910120..comments2023-10-19T09:53:38.101-07:00Comments on AmpuTeeHee: snippets & boasMsAmpuTeeHeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03733762919331458954noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16232845.post-1152281290818238442006-07-07T07:08:00.000-07:002006-07-07T07:08:00.000-07:00heh heh -- Okay, forget I said anything about you-...heh heh -- Okay, forget I said anything about you-know-what, and good luck with it.<BR/><BR/>I got the flu recently while my true love was out of town. It wasn't so much that I needed him, per se; I just needed someone to go to the drugstore and buy me Puffs 'cause I was too sick to drag myself. I couldn't ask someone who didn't already live with me, because they'd just catch what I had. A profound regret of my life is that I have been unable to train the cat to go shopping for me. Thus I had to use paper towels to blow my nose for a week, and this cost me some skin. <BR/><BR/>Then I got a worse flu a couple of weeks ago. I felt like someone had taken an axe to all my joints, and then there was also the vomiting. Oh, yes, I needed help, and I wasn't shy about asking for it, nor was I sparse with my gratitude afterward.<BR/><BR/>Disabled or not, it's very difficult teaching people to help you when you ask for it, to help only when you ask for it, and to help only in the ways you ask. It's very difficult training yourself to ask for and accept help when you genuinely need it -- or even just when you'd like some. We'd all like some from time to time; there's nothing shameful about that. <BR/><BR/>Now switching perspective from assisted to assisting, sometimes -- and I really do think everybody does this sometimes, except maybe your odd saint here and there -- we might make it hard for others to ask us for help, and harder for people we have tried to help to express gratitude for our efforts, because of our own vanity, the little child in each of us who needs to be praised for helping mommy whether we're really being particularly helpful or not, and whether our help was really all that important or not to the task at hand. Naturally, no one usually intends to make anything more difficult, nor is it usually anyone's intent to make anyone else out to be a big fat useless lump who can't get along on her own, ever. (When someone does mean to portray you this way, it's time to leave, unless you like it, but that's another topic for another day...or for therapy.) <BR/><BR/>The people who love you just need you to need them, and to say so once in awhile, and this is true whether you are crippled or not. Of course, I could be wrong, but I submit that it is possible that you feel it differently at this time, because you are still processing what has happened to you on many levels, still coming to terms with who you still are vs. how things have changed, and perhaps this has a lot to do with how you receive the very same things people might have said to you when they were taking care of you while you were sick five years ago, long before it would ever have occurred to anyone -- including yourself -- to think of you as disabled in any way.<BR/><BR/>Of course you are no more handicapped than you want to see yourself, and of course it is also true that you cannot control how other people see you. It is also perfectly right, though, to sanely, calmly, and compassionately tell people who love you when you feel they are trying to make you feel more crippled and needy than you really are. I wouldn't bother with strangers, but the people who really love you are also still processing -- and are also still the same people they were before.<BR/><BR/>I have no idea if any of this makes sense. <A HREF="http://www.astrologyzone.com/forecasts/mercury_dates.html" REL="nofollow">Mercury is retrograde for the month of July</A>, everyone is feeling a little oversensitive right now, and everything I say is gobbledygook, as well as most of what the rest of the world says this month, and this makes it extra fun trying to communicate on these sensitive topics with people who matter. So I hope this makes sense and is helpful, not annoying. At any rate, I advise everyone who reads this to just go easy on yourselves and on the people who count in your lives just now. It's a bad month for communications. It's a very good month to try to exercise our nonverbal kindness muscles, though.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16232845.post-1152278577806032492006-07-07T06:22:00.000-07:002006-07-07T06:22:00.000-07:00Hey Amput - thanks for your comment on my hole (he...Hey Amput - thanks for your comment on my hole (he he he) <BR/>a) I too am a better partner when I'm busy - when i'm not doing stuff I start to feel like time's a wasting...it's a good thing - we bring adventure<BR/><BR/>b) re: Helpers who are not - it must blow donkey balls when folks forget that everyone needs help when they are sick....two legs or one. i would have verbally lost it on them....way to step back from the moving vehicle!!Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06747698338763185775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16232845.post-1152234359618899472006-07-06T18:05:00.000-07:002006-07-06T18:05:00.000-07:00Backpedaling. Or tinking. Or something.YES! The Sn...Backpedaling. Or tinking. Or something.<BR/><BR/>YES! The SnB is my knitting group!! And I miss you guys too!! And once this performance season is over (which is very soon) I will be back! But rehearsals are on the same day of the week, at the same exact time, so I'm screwed. I miss you guys too :-)<BR/><BR/>The other "group" I'm referring to is actually a knitting class/workshop at Skein Lane that is on a weekday morning, and I only attend sporadically when I need help or am feeling like The Hermit Knitter. But I have made some friends there, and it's a pretty great group, too.<BR/><BR/>Is the SnB ever going to revive the daytime knit for parents and those who dont mind little tykes running around?MsAmpuTeeHeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03733762919331458954noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16232845.post-1152232674424887042006-07-06T17:37:00.000-07:002006-07-06T17:37:00.000-07:00I thought WE were your knitting group? Pout, pout....I thought WE were your knitting group? Pout, pout. We miss you - we were just chatting about you on Wednesday. <BR/><BR/>And thank the stars and goddesses that you took the project on! It sounds like it will be satisfying in the end - nothing better than knitting something (even if it's not your style,) that is really loved & appreciated.BeanMamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10381265261670157489noreply@blogger.com