have you ever tried to be like a log??

When the urge arises in your mind
To feelings of desire or angry hate,
Do not act! Be silent, do not speak!
And like a log of wood be sure to stay.

And when your mind is wild or filled with mockery,
Or filled with pride and haughty arrogance,
Or when you would expose another's secret guilt,
To bring up old dissensions or to act deceitfully,

Or when you want to fish for praise,
Or criticize and spoil another's name,
Or use harsh language, sparring for a fight,
It's then that like a log you should remain.

And when you yearn for wealth, attention, fame,
A circle of retainers serving you,
And when you look for honors, recognition,
It's then that like a log you should remain.

And when you inclined to overlook another's need
And want to get the best thing for yourself,
And when you feel the urge to speak,
It's then that like a log you should remain.

Impatience, indolence, faintheartedness,
And likewise arrogance and careless speach,
Attachment to your side--when these areise,
It's then that like a log you should remain.

Examine thus yourself from every side.
Take note of your defilements and your pointless efforts.
For the the heroes on the Bodhisattva path
Seize firmly on such faults with proper remedy.

With perfect and unyielding faith,
With steadfastness, respect, and courtesy.
With conscientiousness and awe,
Work calmly for the happiness of others.

The Way of The Bodhisattva*
by Shantideva
Chapter 5 "Vigilant Introspection", verses 48-55

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sooo, this text I am quoting from was written a loooong time ago (700 A.D.-ish), when apparently things like reactions and behaviors were not so much different. I have a few different translations of this text. No matter how it is translated, I can always easily pick out several of those behaviors I perform on a regular basis. And no matter which version I look at, in these passages you are instructed to remain either a log or a piece of wood.

I dunno about you, but any given day (like *ahem* today), I can experience a multitude of these pesky little issues. Remain like a log, I do not. Sometimes. Other times, I do remain like a log. Boy, lemme tell ya'---it's interesting what a difference just a few moments of Log-ness can do for a gal ;-)

One of the commentaries I have read recently on this section refers to remaining like a log as "just not doing the habitual thing" (the habitual thing often being to throw kerosene on the fire in an attempt to put it out. Duh.). So if you are remaining like a log, it isn't like you are just sitting there doing nothing. It's more like you are actively just sitting there doing nothing.

Not sure if that difference makes any sense, but try doing it next time you get pissed and I think you'll notice the difference pretty quick LOL.
Sometimes (possibly always, I am beginning to believe) thinking about these things is not nearly as effective as just doing them.



*Bodhisattva: a being whose actions promote unity or harmony; one who vows to postpone one's own enlightenment in order to help all sentient beings realize liberation; one who seeks enlightenment not only for oneself but for others.

in the kitchen, not cooking

Oh, I spent a fun afternoon in the kitchen today. I've been tinkering with raw foods recipes this past week now that the temperatures are heating up. I know Raw Living Foods is a full on lifestyle choice for a lot of people, but for me it comes and goes. I was actually 100% raw for almost a full year in my late 20's. For the time being I just find it a fun way to make food, it tastes good, I love eating it...but I still eat cooked foods, too.

Anyhow. Today I prepared foods out of this book:


Today I made those little wrappers you see on the cover there. For all intents and purposes they are sort of like fruit roll-ups. It's a puree of dehydrated mango, fresh coconut (split 'em open myself), sprinkled with some cilantro. I haven't made them into the rolls yet, that'll be what I'm up to tomorrow...but for tonight I made this marinated portobello mushroom dish with a side of some fake rosemary mashed potatoes that totally kicked ass. Warmed it up in the dehydrator, so it was nice and warm, and didn't even feel "raw" at all. Sorry I didn't take a photo. It looked so yummy I dug right into it before I thought about doing that, but I have a second serving saved up for lunch tomorrow, so maybe I will try to take shot during the light of day.

Last week, out of this same book, I made a mock "mac-n-cheese", and then I also made some corn chips in the dehydrator. Oh my gosh, they are so good. I still have some stored in an airtight container and am going to play with making them into a plate of nachos somehow later this week. Crazy fun.

The corn chips, the mango wrappers, and one other recipe, are published online for free here if you are interested. Everything I have made out of this book so far has been really delicious. Some of the best raw foods I've made thus far.

ohhh what a weekend

Here's a little imaginary conversation for ya'~~

YourOneLeggedBlogAuthoress: Oh, man. I had already tweaked my knee a week ago warming up for our dress rehearsal...but then this weekend? I twisted my ankle. But good.

AnyOneOfYou: Oh, no! How'd you do that?!

YourOneLeggedBlogAuthoress: Getting off my Boyfriend's motorcycle.

Dudes, I am such a klutz *sigh*
Hey. Pass me an ice pack. Please?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other than that, the weekend was fantastic. Except for the fact that I got up in the mornings even earlier than I do mid-week. It's the only way to make it to the zen center for morning practice, though. TheMostImportantGuy and I went to both Saturday and Sunday morning.

On Saturday after practice we went out to breakfast with the other folks from the center, went to the dog park, and took the scooter-ride mentioned above. We had a chill evening at home and finally got to watch Inglourious Basterds, me with my leg propped up and wrapped in an ace bandage and ice packs.

Today, we went back to the center, and then spent the rest of the day hanging out with the resident monk (who's about our age, from California originally...in other words, he's a lot like us...only bald...and a monk LOL).
We basically spent the whole day eating.
We had a light breakfast at this really cool coffee shop we'd never been to before, came back to my house and had a lovely cheese plate while watching some Planet Earth, and then went out to lunch (which was the whole reason for his visit) to our favorite vegetarian restaurant, Ubuntu.

I'm stuffed.

I took some really great photos of the food, but my favorite photos of the day were of "The Ladies Who Lunch".



Their outfits were VERY "put together" (Matchy-Matchy!!).

Kinda makes me want to sort through my hat collection and call all my girlfriends to make a lunch date :-)

snaps on saturday

Evol Kittehs.

salon is gone

Back from the salon.
No drastic changes.

The haircut is pretty much the same. It's the color that's different. I previously had lots of stripes going on, and now it's more in layers and with less contrast between the color choices. Hard to tell from the photo, but it's very dark brown underneath, chocolate brown on top, and some shots of an even lighter brown scattered about. I still have a couple of blondy-blonde streaks shooting out from underneath. I like them. Good thing, 'cuz they probably will never fade--they are so bleached out I'll probably have to grow them out!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This past week has been ridiculously hectic, made even more challenging (hmmm...should I say "sucktacular"??) by MyFavoriteKid. He is making a mess out of his school situation (again). His pattern it would seem, is to forget a task or assignment, or to not understand something that is being taught (ie. he falls behind just a wee bit), and rather than just nip it in the bud and deal with it, he just kinda hopes it will go away (oh yah, baby--great strategy).

Every. Single. Day. This. Week. I have discovered one more missing assignment, one more non-comprehended concept, one more unsuccessfully buried thing. It's been grand (insert sarcasm). I'm seriously displeased, but I am also seriously helping him to find a better way of doing things. Teaching those skills, however (especially since I do not necessarily possess them myself...come see my garage of shame), is sucking the life out of me. Not to mention any possibility of free time. I mean, like even just grabbing a cup of tea to keep my head on straight, it seems. Guess I shouldn't be complaining. I did at least have time to get my hair done (but we were talking scary roots, dudes).

I always feel bad when I admit I am thrilled that he is heading off for his dad's for the weekend (like this weekend--yay!). I know parents that have never spent a day away from their kid and/or miss them terribly once they are parted. Me? I think if I didn't get a break a couple of days a month, I might need a rubber room and a coat with fancy sleeves. Or a big bottle of vodka. I am happy to report that I need neither, but it is only because I DO get that break. If I don't recharge, I don't parent all that well.

Ya' know, when I was in my early 20's I read the book Gift from the Sea. Taking a break and recharging in order to be more functional as a nurturer (and a useful member of society) is pretty much the premise of the whole book. I read that book YEARS before becoming a parent.

Maybe I should reread it.

new do?

I am going in tomorrow for a cut-n-color. I'm thinking I'm mixing things up a bit, go for a new style, but I'm not exactly decided on what that should be.

Here's what the quiz at blogthings thinks I should do:

You Should Have Super Short Hair

You are confident and conventional. You are proud of who you are and have nothing to hide. Your hair tells people that you are honest and straightforward. You appear ready to face the world head on. You can be very quiet at times. You aren't shy though... you're just thinking things over. You prefer to plan out the best course of action before you do anything. You want to be able to be your best in every situation.

What Length Hair Should You Have?

Blogthings: A Fine Line Between Insight and Stupidity

I think my following through on that is HIGHLY UNLIKELY.
Mostly because that description does not even SOUND like me! LOL

still an "a" student

Ahhh, yes. "Bring A Parent To School Day" today.
(thank goodness it was a minimum day, I can only take so much LOL)

First block, Advanced Band (advanced for middle school, that is):


They were working on a medley of pieces from the Lord of The Rings movie soundtrack. I loooove LoTR, so that made for an awesome morning. Even when it was out of tune it was great.
Didn't hurt any that I got to knit while I listened.

Then on to Language Arts:


Much discussion about the book they are reading, "Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry". They also discussed a video they watched last week about the Birmingham Children's March. Very cool of the teacher to connect the issues with kids their own age. I dig her. I also brought in a t-shirt I had picked up for her that says, "I'm so adjective, I verb nouns!" She loved it (I knew she would).

Then it was the lunch break, and MyFavoriteKid (maybe I should take the Favorite away for this paragraph) asked me to eat lunch away from him and his buddies. DangedAsswipeMiddleSchooler. LOL
As it turns out, I wasn't the only parent that happened to, and so a few of us made our own little lunch club. Screw them. That turned out pretty great anyhow because one of the ditched parents was my physical therapist! (small world)

Ok, then it was Algebra 1:

They had a test.
I had more knitting.

The most entertaining class for me today was the last period: Social Studies. They're studying Medieval Japan, and today was their test covering the last 3 Chapters. The teacher asked (with a bit of a giggle-snort) if any of the parents wanted to take the test, too. I jumped at it. I think that might have pissed the other parents off. For some reason I guess that meant they all had to take it. Ha.

It was actually not an easy test! It was good for me to see how hard MyFK has had to work in the class to do good.

49 questions, I missed 3 ;-)
(the parent/guy next to me only answered maybe 10 and got most wrong)

Sure didn't hurt me any that a whole bunch of the questions were about how buddhism got to Japan and how zen played into the role of being a samurai (*mwahaha*). Also didn't hurt any that I know what haiku is, why a samurai would know how to do a tea ceremony and why he would perform one, and that I know what Noh Theater is. It also didn't hurt any that I have read the Pillow Book.
Oh, and that I have seen Kill Bill a couple of times.
Heh.

Life=Textbook.

the evening sit

I know it's a dark photo (squint, will ya'??!), but I wanted to show you Riley doing his evening sit thang:


He does this every single night after he eats his dinner...just sitting on the back step quietly listening to the night air, and it seems that he even knows what "evening sit" means (when you say it, he'll make for the door).

No frogs tonight.

what a combo

I've got the PostPerformanceLetDown/Hangover mixed in with the DaylightSavingsTimeWarp, and it's totally messing with my equilibrium.

It was cold here in the morning (upper 30's), but in the upper 60's (maybe even low 70's) during the day, and I even have some windows open now and it's 10:15.

The dog is outside on the back step having his "evening sit", which he does every night after dinner, but he wont come in because he's listening to frog mating season or something out there. Lots o' frog racket. But it's nice :-)

I ran around doing all sorts of whatnot today, and haven't knit since I-dunno-when, so I'm going go do a few rows now, and listen to the serenade.

performed today...

Performed today with The Sabah Ensemble at the Rakkasah Middle Eastern Dance Festival.
Here's me backstage just a few minutes before heading down to perform.


Sorry the photo is a so TaTaBooBeeLicious, but I took it myself, arm in the air one handed style, and I only had time for 1-click so this is all I got.
Well, ok. That's not true.
This was my 2nd-click.
My 1st-click was taken when the troupe and our wonderful accompanying musicians were standing together in a circle in what we affectionately call our "Kumbayah Moment" (we hold hands and connect for minute). My 1st photo was also arm in the air, taken from above, but shot looking down into our circle, and it ended up being one reallllly ugly photo of everyone's bare feet.
I saw what I had taken and had about 4 seconds to click the one you see above before we all made way for the wings of the stage.
The TaTa's look better than TheFeet.
(Did you know I am not a fan of nekkid feet, and I don't even wear sandals?)

Anyhow.
It was a really great performance. I love what we do. The works we make don't really fit any of the various molds for this medium (we aren't cabaret, tribal, Egyptian-style...hell, I don't know what we are). When we create a piece what we end up with is choreography (or structured improvisation) that often looks more like a "statement". More like the way a modern dance piece might look, for example (remember, this new piece was inspired by this photo; and the first half of the choreography was a structured improv based on "walking meditation" that broke out into individual solo statements). It's really out of the ordinary what we do, and it's quite unexpected for the audience, I think too. Especially at a big bellydance festival such as this.
Fun fun fun.

snaps on saturday

Ooooo, my favorite breakfast :-)
It's my "CloseAsICanGet" version of a meal I absolutely adore served at Cafe Fanny, in Berkeley (owned by the famous Alice Waters). It's Acme Pain au Levain (the bread), toasted and rubbed with garlic and then schmeared with organic butter, topped with prosciutto, and (hard) poached eggs. Olives and fruit on the side.
To DIE for.

Made easy by my fancy new egg poaching pan.

Bought her a few weeks ago and she is getting plenty of use, lemme tell ya'.

the lift team

I was just talking to TheMostImportantGuy's Dad the other day, about "The Lift Team".

(OH. Update! TheMIG's Dad is out of the regular hospital and is doing well, but healing slowly. He's been moved to a fancy extended care facility to get some Physical Therapy until he's stronger. There may be a small round of chemo on the horizon, just to be safe.)

So TheMIG's Dad was talking to me about how strong the nurses and PT's are, and it sort of had this "kinda surprises me 'cuz they're girls" tone to it. So I told him about TheLiftTeam.

See, now when I was in the ICU after my accident, the nurses did not (well, did very little) moving of me. The hospital had a system in place so they would not injure themselves. When patients like me needed to be transported from the bed to a gurney to get into some other treatment room, or like when I was learning to get up and down but still needed help, the ICU nurses when get on the horn and call for TheLiftTeam.

A few minutes later, three (hot) strapping young dudes would show up and pick me up and move me.
*big fat grin*

Although there was lots of celebrating to be had as I recovered and became more self-sufficient, there was a certain amount of sadness in having to say goodbye to TheLiftTeam.
Heh.

Anyhow. I was clickin' around the internet the other day, and ran into this here video of a crazy robotic panda shakin' up TheLiftTeam's job security:



I think I'd still prefer the hotties.
Although if laughter is the best medicine, this panda thing might just do the trick ;-)

I actually think I could use one of these around the house just to get me out of bed in the morning.
Wonder if I could train him to bring me coffee.

so much for brownies

Is anyone else out there besides me reading this book?

It's blowing my head open. I'm not even sure what to say about yet, she's crawlin' so deeply into my head.

dear lorena...

In response to comments from yesterday's post:

Dear Lorena,
Don't worry. You're safe. ;-)

You're a 5. I'm a 6. Won't steal your shoes. I won't even /hijack them ;-)
But now I know your shoe size (*mwahaha*).

And Denise?? Wow. Worlds collide!
I swear it---I need to take an AmpuTeeHeeRoadTripTour and meet y'all in person.

~~quick little note to gwen as a follow-up to yesterday's comments: I watched the eel/boullabaise episode, too! Hahaha! But! But! How 'bout that huuuuge fish head?!!

Ok, and now for some LOVE.


Squeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!! Sock yarn in my mailbox! Dyed in the colorway of "Sock Monkey"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Somebody was payin' attention LOL.
That somebody was Lorena...one of my favorite "we-don't-really-know-each-other, but-we-totally-know-each-other, so why-not-hey, let's send I-saw-this-and it-is-soooo-you gifts to each other" friends.

Dude. You totally know my tastes.
Not that I needed to tell you that, though. Heh.
Now gimme all your Chuck Taylors. ROTFLMAO

classic julia

My fingers are still killing me and it makes me want to scream because I'm crabby and can't knit to make myself un-crabby.
*POUT*

This is a post I typed up a couple of weekends ago, but hadn't added the photo to it, so it was parked as a draft.

I'm off to reapply neosporin an bandaids.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Caught some classic Julia Child on a PBS marathon recently. My favorite episode was about omelettes. In the photo below she had set up a little cook-to-order omelette buffet party.


"Ohh, and there's this gentleman who wanted a spinach omelette...
there's the spinach right in the middle, that creamed spinach nicely flavored up......
I think I let that one cook up a little bit too long...
I don't think he's going to know the difference!
And as always, a little parsley will cover up anything....

Ohh, here comes my mother-in-law. Guess I'll give her a liver omelette. That will fix her up I guess!"

dog ate my homework

It's going to sound like MyFavoriteKid wrote this post for me, but...
I can't do a decent post tonight! I can't type (easily) because my fingers are all cut up!

I had to do some repairs to my dance costume this morning before our rehearsal. My coin belt needed some reinforcing and some links replaced. It's made of real coins, and it's quite heavy. I cut my fingers (well, mostly both thumbs) pretty damn deep! I didn't notice it much during the day, but once I got the kiddo to bed and sat down to do some knitting and typing I realized I cannot do either! (I know this looks like typing, but I've used the backspace key about 427 times).

since then. thinking.

Many days spent in retreat, practicing "not attaching to thinking"...
with the final result being that my last hour or so has been spent thinking and thinking and thinking about how badly I wanted to get home so that I could lay down with my TherapyBallThingy underneath my excruciatingly aching low back (cause by all that sitting/practicing).
Funny thing, to me. LOL

almost...

Zen center today from 6am to 930pm (which means up at 430am--gah! and just now getting home and settled at 1030pm--double gah!).

At least tonight was a ceremony that ended in cake and ice cream LOL.

Tomorrow is a short one. Another 6am start, but over by 9, at which point we all go out to breakfast together.



I am beginning to understand why these happen only once a year.

an elephant never forgets

A very strange thing today during meditation practice.

All of my scars started getting really really tight.

There I was, sitting still and the scar that runs across the front of my pelvic bone just got....tight. Like when you use a vacuum sealing machine or something so you can deep freeze a steak or something. Or like when you snag a really nice piece of silk, and right in the middle of this flowing fabric is a tight spot. Yeah. Kinda like that.

Anyhow. Then the scar on my upper arm started going tight. So my pelvis is tight. And the skin on my right arm is clamping down on itself. And thennnnnn....well, I have this other scar that runs the full lenght down the center of my torso from my sternum to my belly button...and the top part of that scar? Where it is pretty much right over my diaphragm? well, that one just started twitching and spasming. It was going bezerk-o.

And so I'm sitting there meditating because I'm on this 8-day retreat thingy, and I'm just "noticing" all of this scar stuff happening, and I'm trying not to "think" about it. Not that I am ignoring it. It's more that I am noticing it, but that I am not adding words to it. I'm just sitting with it. Feeling it, basically. Experiencing it, but not critiquing it.

Anyhow, it's when that last scar starts twitching, that the feelings get pretty strong because that twitch is accompanied by this NoNoNoNoNooNoooNOOOOO feeling that I get from time to time when I am flashing back to the car accident era ('cuz of these scars are from that), and that is when I realize...

Hey! Yesterday was the 6 year anniversary of the accident! And I missed it! Ha! I was even like, "Hey. Is the anniversary on the 3rd? Or the 4th? I dont even remember!" (I had to check my own blog to be sure...how odd is that LOL)

I mean, it didn't go totally unnoticed leading up to today. Sometime in February I reminded myself that it was coming and to just be on alert for the really odd behavior that sometimes comes out of me this time of year. And about a week ago I was starting to get my March calendar out more and more, and I thought about it for about one hot second each second. But get this one. On the 2nd I actually had to fill out some papers for the DMV where they were asking me the date of the onset of my disability, and I wrote the 3rd (the very next day), but I didn't make a thing of it. Not even a connection, really.
It just went by.

So my head? Me thinks me head is movin' on!

Seems like my body still be a little stuck, though LOL...but it was even on delay. A whole day behind. Maybe another anniversary or two and perhaps even that will shift ;-)

all i got is this

Kids, I am whooped. I am so. Danged. Tired.
All I have for you is this photo I took a couple of Saturdays ago of some wacky artwork I found up on Berkeley's Telegraph Ave:



Someone just layered their masterpiece right on over the bills that were posted on the plywood of a vacant building.


(PS...when I was young and hot, I had the brains and the balls)

tonight, the knitting wins

Can't type tonight.
The knitting is calling.


nataliedee.com


(I'm huge Natalie Dee fan---I even own some t-shirts)

more floor

So this is an addendum to yesterday's post. Mouse was had said that if I am going to stare at the floor for so long, she wondered if it was at least a nice one.

That photo is a pretty great shot of it (I used it onece before here), and you can also see more photos of it here (the zen center website--just click and let the photos scroll through the slide show on the home page). One of the reasons I like that photo above though, is that it is taken from where I often end up sitting. It's not like we have assigned seats or anything, but the corner spots are usually easier for me to get up and down from (crutches, and all that).

So the floor. Lemme tell ya', I have a very interesting relationship with the floor of this place. You see, many years ago (beginning in 1994 for me, actually), long before the zen center purchased this building from it's previous owner, it was on long term lease to none other but my very own dance teacher and her partner.

This is the building that I learned to dance in. For years, every week, on Thursday nights, I sat on a mat (longer, full body) on this floor, doing the same warm-up series that I now teach (my teacher passed away in 1999 and I started co-teaching the class in 2000).

This is the floor where I danced my very first solo, and where I rehearsed my very first performances, and where I circle-danced on solstices and equinoxes with my fellow classmates. I have rolled around on this floor as a dancer, and when I practice meditation sometimes I swear I am merging with it once again. Heck, we're both made of cells, right? It's just a floor, and I'm just a person, and only because of how those cells ended up being organized, no??

I have a deep connection to the floor. To the whole space, really. When we would rehearse a dance piece, sometimes these geese from across the street would honk, and the geese still honk during meditation all these years later! And the windows, which are squares of various shades of opaque glass...the whole room shifts and changes and sun filters in. The kitchen and bathroom still have their classic tile, and the garden outside, even though tended to differently, still has some of the same features, especially the larger trees.

I love this place, and when it became a zen center and my teacher and her partner needed to relocate (because they couldn't manage to purchase the building when the owner sold it), I was shook up for a bit. It was quite the shift getting used to the new place. I now have the same deep love for our current space. But I never ever thought that I'd see the inside of the old space again.

And now, here I sit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh, and by the way....



Can you believe it's March?!

comments on comments

Ok, I knew I hadn't done this in awhile, but I did NOT realize that it have been over a month. I love ALL the comments and the support you all leave me here. It means so so much to me, and I don't say thanks often enough. But what I also don't do often enough is to respond to questions you ask me! If you've asked me something in the last month, scroll down and you'll find what you are looking for. And at the end of the post I'll wrap up with an update on TheMostImportantGuy's dad, deal? ;-)

Jodi asked: Wow, look at that mist! Do you get that often?
~ We get fog here, just like most of the San Francisco Bay Area, but it doesn't always "lift" quite like it did that day. It usually "burns off", more like a thinning out process. I think what was happening that day was because at the bottom of our little rolling hills are swamp-ish frog pond sorts of things, and if they are wet enough and the temps are just right, our little valleys fill up like that. But no, we don't see that often!

Denise asks: Aww but they are soooo cute, you sure you dont need any more?
~ I am posssssssitve.

Mouse asks: Is that Gaara in the tree?
~ Indeed, it is. He did not catch a bird. Perhaps he shhttp://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=16232845ould have brought his gourd full of whoop-ass.

Not a question, but thanks to all who wished me a happy birthday, and a special hello to Nazia with whom I share the same birthday! And no, Lorena---I never mind celebrating late! You kidding?! (isn't EVERY day my birthday?!?! hahaha)

Jenna asks: Flowers already?!? (and) How did you get into practicing zen Buddhism?
~ Yes, already! Crazy! As for the second question, it's a post of it's own, and it's coming this week, right on the tail of the thoughts about olympic athletes ;-)

Carol asks: You are just BEGGING for a Special Olympics joke, aren't you? But I'm not the one to make it...
~ Well, I sort of replied to this here. But seriously. Dude. If you are NOT the one to make it?!?! No one is. LOLOL (love you!)

Denise asks: Wherever did you get the candles?
~ I'm a little embarrassed to tell you that I bought off of QVC lololol. What I bought was this (in a darker "rubbed brass" finish which I do not show available right now). At seems that most of the products in this line are for the candle with some sort of holder. Now, QVC does have another line called "Candle Impressions" which is often sold as just the candles themselves, and most of them have timers, and when I see them demo'd the sure do look pretty danged similar. Hope I'm not being a huge enabler ;-)

Also not a question, but many of you commented about the lady at the convalescent hospital that claims she can no longer knit, but knits when it is placed in her hands. I just wanted to say that y'all had some good ideas and some great things to say. I'm going to experiment with her some, and I will follow-up with whatever develops.

(formerly) no-blog-rachel asks: Hey any chance you'll make it to Stitches this year?
~ I sadly did not go this year. I was really really looking forward to a repeat of last year, where I filled my conversion van full of awesome knitterly friends and made a day of it. Sadly, a dance rehearsal was made for that day from 10am-12noon....and I could only find coverage for MyFavoriteKid until 5:30pm. By the time I'd have driven there, parked, and entered, I'd only have had about an hour and a half before turning back. So I decided to put more time in on the zen retreat instead, which was local. As for today, I had MyFK today, and he was not at all into going with me...but we've had a really good day together, so I'm okay with it. Now, questions for you: How was it, and are you gonna show me your loot?!! :-D

In regards to what I was going to say to MyFK's buddy that I accidently called a nerd, not super girl asks: So,how did it go?
~ It went well. The buddy did not bring it up, and I didn't bring it up either (thanks to all for THAT advice). I'd also come to understand that if MyFK said I shouldn't bring it up, I should honor that request for his sake as well. His friend did look great, so I let him know that. And his friend also mentioned that his grades had slipped quite badly there for awhile, and he was pretty much on restriction for 6-months trying to straighten it all out. While I felt bad for him, this also explained why we hadn't seen much of him, and I was really really glad to hear that it was NOT because my friendship with his mom is no longer close. *phew*

Mouse asks: Nine days? That's a lot of floor staring.. I hope its a very nice floor!
~ Yes, nine days. And it is a verrrrry nice floor. I'm going to take a photo during the retreat and write about why. Stay tuned.

drlea asks: Are you on Twitter?
~ Well, for starters, hello! Welcome! Glad you found me, and thanks for stopping by! As for your question?: hahahahahahaha If you stick around here long enough you will learn that I am a total dork when it comes to computers. I dont know how to crop photos, so every single thing you see here is just how I took it, and I cant figure out FaceBook. It's amazing I have even kept a blog this long.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay. That's that. Unless I missed someone. If I did, let me know I shall fix. Again, I adore all the comments you send. I notice them and appreciate them all, questions asked or not ;-)

Now.
The update on TheMostImportantGuy's dad who had cancer surgery this week.

The surgery went well, although it sure seemed long. The bladder came out, the replacement parts went in. The surgeon and nursing staff said he did great, lost very little blood, and that it all went smoothly. They did see a lymph node that looked a bit enlarged and so they took it (and it's neighbor) out and sent them off to pathology. I am personally holding out for those results before I celebrate (which is not to say that I have a negative feeling about it, though). If results show signs of cancer, the next step I guess might be chemo. They moved him out of ICU yesterday afternoon, and they've started getting him up to walk around. He'll be in the hospital into next week. I understand he's not in pain which either means he's healing well or on some really fun meds (my guess is the latter).

I'll post another update if something changes and/or when those results come through....and thanks again so much for all of your support and sending of good vibes!


Alrighty. I'm off to watch the closing ceremony of the Olympics.
Thank goodness this only happens every 4 years.

so like i said yesterday...

..many many hours staring at the floor. Many days, even.

The annual 8-day retreat is happening at the zen center, which started yesterday, Friday the 26th, and runs through to (get this, kids) Saturday, March 6th.
Count 'em guys.
Sure looks like 9 to me ;-)
Maybe I am supposed to ponder that while I stare at the floor.

Anyhow, lucky for me this is an "urban" sort of zen center, meaning there is flexibility with coming and going, so long as it is pre-arranged. Most days we start at 6am and go until 9:30pm.

Single-mommyhood isn't allowing me to do the whole shebang, but thanks to my parents picking up MyFavoriteKid after school, I did do the full day yesterday. Today TheEx took MyFK for the earlier part, but it's technically my weekend with him, so we are home together tonight and I am also staying home tomorrow (can you say "Olympics Hockey Finals"?? perfect timing. Really.)

The rest of the week, Monday through Thursday at least, I am going to go to the zen center during the hours MyFK is in school. Then thanks again to my folks and TheEx being on duty, I am able to go on Friday and Saturday.

So, it's not the full retreat, but it's more than I usually do, that's for sure. Even though I try to do a little practice every day, it's never for that many hours at a time.
It's pretty precious, and I'm glad I'm able to do whatever I can.

snaps on saturday (on a friday)

Taken outside the zen center, where I just spent many many MANY hours staring at the floor (easier than it sounds).

mo. jo.

my funny little candle holder

Ok, kids. Mojo request here.

TheMostImportantGuy's dad just went into surgery this morning for the removal of his bladder (cancer). If you have some extra positive vibes today, I kindly request you shoot them this-a-way. Vibes for a good surgery. Vibes for fast and uncomplicated healing (he's diabetic). Vibes for calm energy for his family. And vibes that when they are in there they get it all, and they don't find more than what they knew was there (so far they believe it has not spread).

Thanks so much.

Will keep y'all posted, and tomorrow I will also follow up and respond to questions you guys have left in the comments since the last time I followed up....
things like how I hand pre-teen nerds and where I find fake candles ;-)
XO

let's play dear abby

About a month ago, I was on my way to meet up with MyFavoriteKid on the campus of his middle school to help out with the school play that night. On the way in from the parking lot, a kid walked past me and said, "Hi, MsMyFavoriteKid's Mom! Wow, I haven't seen you in a long time!"

I didn't recognize the kid immediately. It was a kid that MyFK was close friends with a couple of years ago when they were both about 11 to 12, and we used to have him over often. Now that he's 13 years old, he looks really different. I also didn't recognize him because of what he was wearing. He had on thick horn-rimmed glasses, had a dress shirt buttoned up to the neck, had his hat on all funny-dorky-sideways, and I could swear he had black "fake dirt" smeared on his face, almost like Halloween make-up. Like he had on a costume.

It was at the moment that I remembered that it was "Spirit Week" at the school, and that this particular day was "Dress Like a Nerd" day. So I said to the kid, "Oh gee! Hi! I hardly recognized you! You're so much taller! And I totally forgot it was dress like a nerd day! Great outfit! I have to run to help with the play! See you soon!"

You DO know where this is going, don't you???

So the next time that I had a dull moment with MyFK I said, "Hey! I saw your friend at school the other day! I hardly recognized him because he was dressed up for NerdDay!"

"Uh, mommmmm....you DO know that he got glasses a few months ago, don't you? And what exactly was he wearing, by the way?"

Of course I describe the outfit, and even though I cannot explain the dirty face, that kid was wearing his normal clothes, NOT a costume.
*sigh*
Okay, so it's been pretty much haunting me for weeks. I am just certain I've caused this kid a few sessions on the couch with a therapist, and I'm sure hoping that he didn't tell his mom I said this horrible thing, because she and I already don't see eye to eye as it is (we used to be good friends, but I'm anal about being on time, and she's consistently an hour late, and we left it with agreeing that we'd never interfere with our kids' friendship, but that we'd probably never get along with each other. Neat. You see how that worked out. I've hardly seen her kid in a year.)

SO.
Here's where your advice is needed.
This kid is coming over after school today.

Do I say anything to him?? I mean, obviously, if he brings it up I will deal with it directly....but if he doesn't say anything, do I bring it up? Or do I say nothing? Or do I comment on how great his outfit is today or something? LOL

I asked MyFK this morning how he thought I should handle it, and the first thing he said was, "He's really changed his style lately, actually. He dresses a lot less nerdy now."
Oy. See??!!! LOL
Then MyFK told me I shouldn't bring it up unless he does.

But what do you think? I'd love your advice, peeps. Help!

well, at least i know what the problem is

I give up with trying to write this overdue post for now. It's supposedly about what I am learning about myself by watching the Olympic athletes, but I'm trying to write it while trying to simultaneously watch the Olympic Athletes, and I can't win.

I have worked and reworked this post over and over both in my head and on the screen, and it's just a mess. It either ends up being 5 pages long, or it's boiled down to one sentence (which is in the form of an unanswered question to myself).

The problem is that I really need to take some time with this post 'cuz it's a kinda bending my mind here kids, and I can't seem to pull that off at the same time I'm watching anything that has to do with snow. Or ice. Or skates. Or skis. Or sleds. Or giant rocks with handles on them.

And then everyday I beat myself up for not being able to write and watch speed-skating (or whatever) at the same time. And that beating up part is unnecessary.

So I hereby free myself of this commitment until after the 28th at some point. When my brain defrosts from all this Winter stuff ;-)

mabye this explains why i don't sleep well at night

Sheesh.
King sized bed, and still no room for me some nights.

Tired. A wee bit trashed.
And still behind composing a certain blogpost.

uberflake

Signing out early tonight here, kids. I'm tired from a late afternoon dance rehearsal today, and in just a few minutes here on PBS's Masterpiece Classic they are showing Jane Austen's Persuasion ...the 2007 version, which I absolutely adore.


I've seen several film adaptations of many of Miss Austen's novels, but the kiss at the end of this one?
*sigh* :-)
Dreeeamy.
So good that I'm even foregoing the Olympic Ice Dancing tonight to watch this instead, and I've seen this movie before. More than once. Way more than once.
Teehee.

I'm off to indulge, and then fall asleep immediately!
xo~
TheUberFlake

snaps on saturday

I know I'm doing it again (I'm delaying that post--gah!), and I do not want to hear it. I have a good reason.

TheMostImportantGuy's sister's birthday is Tuesday, and his mom's birthday is Thursday...and his dad's cancer surgery prep is Tuesday and the surgery itself is Thursday (how do you say "bad timing", eh?). So we drove up there today, brought in dinner and flowers and cakes and presents, and we just got home from the long drive and we are totally wiped out (but watching the men's Short Track--ha).

SO! Since you seemed to enjoy that vintage photo of me so much yesterday (the one of me dreaming of being a future Winter Olympian LOL), here's an even earlier version...



...of my dreaming of being a Summer Olympian!

appeasement

I know, I know. I owe y'all (and myself!) the Part 2 of 2 continuing over from yesterday. But today was big and busy and it's late and I'm whooped and I pulled up the draft of what was already written and it was a hot mess.

So I appease you (and Carol especially, Queen of the Heckler In Comments that she is...xo, hon)

...with a photo of me in my competitive skiing days ;-)



2nd Place in the Downhill ;-)

it's official. the olympics are making me sick. and a few other things.

I have a cold. And I am 99.9% positive it's because I'm staying up late every night watching the Olympics. I'm running myself into the ground. It's getting ridiculous.

I've even tried recording the prime time show so that I can watch it the next morning instead of staying up late (seeeeeems smart, don't it??...skip the commercials AND get a good night's rest?...woohoo!), but even knowing the recorder running, I'm still up 'til midnight behaving like a crack addict watching the half-pipe. (ha)

And now I have a stuffed nose, and a cough to boot, and I'm fully encircled by an Olympic sized ring of tissues.

Let me tell ya' that the Olympics are touching a few other areas of my life, and I started typing all that up for you today, but I can't get my thoughts together well enough and I'm out of time. I spent half of my day today going 'round in circles between my medical provider and the department of motor vehicles (huuuuuge snafu, which I will also tell you about later, because it's frustrating but hilarious), and I have to wrap up here early because MyFavoriteKid has a presentation to give at his school in an hour, and immediately following that I teach a dance class. Home at 11pm. Yay me.

So tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow. I have saved what I could not finish writing, and tomorrow I will pick it up again and get it posted.

Now pass me a tissue.

my rockin' senior pals

It's been awhile since I've done any updating about the convalescent hospitals I volunteer at. I think the last time may have been when I showed the fall themed knit-covered wreath that TheKnittingLadies and I worked on putting together. Well, we banged out another one for Valentine's Day.

This one is a bit smaller (we have less knitters attending right now). To make these, we just simply knit a mishmash of swatches basically, and we tack them onto a foam core with greening pins. It's a great group project because no matter how much one can knit, one can contribute. You could even stick a little 3-row strip on there, if you had to. It's sort of like a crazy quilt.

We also have a couple of knitters in the bunch who fret about mistakes and so they rip out and re-knit over and over, and then we never get enough fabric to cover our core. With this project I just tell them to not worry about their mistakes, because we just tuck them under bows and flowers or other swatches or whatnot, and they seem to find that freeing.

We finished that wreath at the beginning of February, and TheLadies are asking to make a spring themed one, which I am sure we will.

This week however, the knitting group was canceled to make room for Fat Tuesday and a Mardi Gras party.



The highlight was that a musician was brought in, and he played piano and sang for an hour. Toes were tappin', lemme tell ya'. Click on the guy's website (Macy Blackman & The Mighty Fines) and you will hear why. He was awesome. I'm going to have to go see one of his local gigs, I liked it so much.

Everyone in the house got beads and there were masks and hats.

hey look, my new hat fit right in--LOL

Notice Ms.Bridget of TheKnittingLadies on the far left there...not sure if you can see it, but she's working on a hat. She never puts her knitting down.

Right next to me there though is Ivy (in her handknit scarf, no less).
I must tell you about Ivy.
For starters, she is lovely. Very elegant. This photo and that mask don't do her justice.
Ivy was wheeled into TheKnittingLadies during her first week as a resident because someone saw some of her handiwork. When she came in though, she was not all the comfortable being there. She said (and continues to say) in her lovely english accent, "that her knitting days are over." And then she'll go on to tell you about all the "jumpers" she knit for her kids during the war, and sweaters for grandchildren. Once she told me about making a rag rug for her diningroom. Huge. Like wall to wall.

After awhile of coming, Ivy would say that her knitting days were over and that her eyes were bad and she could no longer see, and her hands didnt work anymore, and she would wheel herself on out of the room. I always invited her to stay even if she wasn't knitting because we have tea and I bring a stack of ladies magazines for the non-knitters that cruise in regularly. Anyhow, one day, she was saying her knitting days were over, and the knitter next to me took a break to have her tea and a cookie, and she took her knitting and passed it across the table to Ms.Ivy and said, "Here. Work on this while I drink my tea."

And Ms.Ivy started knitting.
And knitting, and knitting.
She said she couldnt really see what she was doing, but she could feel it...and let me tell you, she didn't make a single mistake.

It made my eyes water :-)

And she still says her knitting days are over, and doesn't come that often, but I usually drag her in anyhow and stick a pair of needles in her hands that already has a couple of rows on it, and she just goes right at it. Cracks me up. And then she leaves saying she doesnt knit anymore.

I love her :-)

i come back to the place you are

Tripping around the internet this morning...reading, seeing, listening, learning new things...
but as usual, if I clickety-click long enough, it almost always ends up bringing me back to something familiar (and loved).
Something that touches a soft spot.



It's not like this should be news to me, but I still often find myself surprised by how other peoples artistic creations can shift my whole experience. One moment you are "here", the next you are "there".

I like that feeling of surprise.

And for some reason today, I'm especially liking the feeling of finding that sort of wonder within the familiar.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

posting early this morning, but that's cuz ya caught me getting all emo ;-)

mood lighting

I ordered these funny little sconces recently, and this weekend TheMostImportantGuy hung them up for me. There were quite inexpensive, actually.
What's "funny" about them, I suppose, isn't the sconces themselves, but the candles that are in them.

They're fake!

They are made of real wax, but they are battery operated. The lit "wick" is buried deep enough into the candle so that it doesn't look too cheesy. The "flicker" pattern of the light seems very random to me, too. They look pretty real!

But back to what I find so danged "funny" here..?

The candles go on and off automatically!!! hahahaha
(I don't why I find that so charmingly hysterical, but I do.)

I still prefer a REAL lit candle to these phonies, but there is something to be said for a candle that is placed high enough to be a bitch to light (ie I'd probably never light them), that actually pops on by itself at 6pm every evening and then "snuffs" itself out at 10pm. Like clockwork.

Oh, and pssssst...Mom: I finally "filled out that entry way wall".
;-)

my (creepy) valentine

Left on my front stoop, and not by TheMostImportantGuy.

I wish I knew who it was from, because not knowing kinda creeps me out!
It's not like I'd ever eat it not knowing who it's from....it has that tainted-with-pins-and-poisons Halloween candy feeling to it.
Sad, because it may have just been left with the best and kindest of intentions!


Ok, back to the Olympics. I'm loving it.
Did I ever tell y'all that I use to ski competitively as a kid? I even won a trophy in the downhill ;-)

olympic knitting (spectator style)

There are a load of knitters out there doing "Olympic Knitting" right now. THe are either trying to tackle projects that beat their own personal best, or they are working competitively in teams to complete great yarny feats. Knitters cast-on their projects at the opening ceremony with the goal of course, to finish them before the torch goes out.

Last time I tried this, I failed miserably...and this year I didn't even bother hopping on the bandwagon.

What I did do last night though, just by coincidence, was to cast-on a new project. Something easy enough that I could actually knit on it while watching the games simultaneously. I'm using this yummy yarn....



...which I picked up last fall. It's by the same awesome dyer that made the yarn for the hat I did the other day, and also the shawl I did last year. This is going to become a Clapotis (but a bit narrower and longer, like this last one I did), which is some seriously kick-back and chill knitting for me. Perfect match for watching all the games. Love.

olympics interuptis

Maybe shoulda posted something before the opening ceremony began...'cuz now I'm all wrapped up in it!
Really looking forward to the next couple of weeks. The winter Olympics are my favorite (once one a trophy for downhill skiing, myself!).

class tonight

Very late. Just got home from teaching dance class.

It's a very interesting thing, this work we do. We do teach people dance moves, but that isn't really what it's all about. Most of what we teach has to do with body alignment and how to use our skeletal structures to release patterns of muscular holding, so that we can be dancers (rather than just folks to take a dance class). We also teach some wonderful exercises and techniques for making our movements more full. More rich. Fulfilled. Complete.

It's like our students (and ourselves) have toolboxes, and we as teachers help load the boxes up with tools that can be pulled out as needed when dancing or performing (or anything else probably--walking down the street, comes to mind). The key to all this toolbox stuff though, is that one needs to be aware at any (and every) given moment, about what is going on with oneself, and which tool could be used to enhance the experience.

It's about being present. It's about being aware. It's about trusting that if you want to tweak something or drop into something more deeply, that you know what is needed. And then it's about actually being responsible for yourself and doing what is needed.

Kinda doesn't even sound like I am talking about dance anymore, to some of you maybe. LOL


It's funny to me how hard it is to articulate this stuff outside of class but how I am (almost always) able to successfully communicate this while I am actually doing the teaching. I swear, it is channeled or something. Maybe I open my mouth and my dance teacher crosses over from the other side, gets into my head, and I am just speaking her words. Maybe it's that I turn off my head and my own inner wisdom speaks. I dunno. Whatever. It's pretty great though, because at the same time I share with my students, I still teach myself.

seriously silly

I knit a new hat.
And it's seriously silly ('cuz silly is sometimes necessary).


My Ravelry Project Page

Pattern: Guinan, by KimK.

Yarn: Twisted Fiber Art Lotus, colorway "Frenzy" (the Jan '10 shipment of the Adventure Club); 240 yds (used all but a couple of feet).

Needles: US 6's on the band, US 7's for the body of the hat (to make it slouchier)


Mods: well, used bigger needles on the body of the hat (see above), and increased each section to 7 rows instead of 5 in hopes of using every bit of yarn, and increasing the slouch.


Little do-dads/decorations: I used the smidge of remaining tail after sewing in the cast-on edge to make a little i-cord bobble for the topper. Then I used the last couple yards of the yellow to make a little i-cord spiral to tack onto the brim of the hat (to tie the colors together from one end to the other). Sewed a simple little pink plastic button in the middle.


Notes to self: The colorway is called “Frenzy”, but it reminds me of the sun coming up (actually, now that I think of it, mornings at my house ARE quite the frenzy!). The yarn is soft and was lovely to work with. As always, a ton of fun to watch the colors change. Meg is an amazing dye artist.

fail.

Me: migraine, again
+
MyFavoriteKid: home from school, sick
____________
= FAIL

(ie, I can't squeeze a better blog post outta me tonight)

Here's another (funnier) "fail":


see more Epic Fails

I've seen a few of these, but this one always makes me split a gut.

i...ummmm....i'm so tired!

I'm not sure what's up with me today, but I'm exhausted. Maybe I did do more that I thought this past weekend. That really was a long list for an ol' hag like me ;-) And when I woke up this morning, I realize there was a whole bunch of other stuff I didn't even list that also took place.

* Before the holidays I had obtained an older Ashford Traditional spinning wheel from someone who was parting with it. This weekend I advertised it as free on Ravelry and passed it along to its new owner.

* I bought a dog house for my old dogs (the two that stayed with TheEx when I moved on), because I still feel a sense of obligation to them, and TheEx couldn't seem to get them set up properly for all this rain we are having. Dog house bought and delivered.

* I went shopping for worms for My FavoriteKid's gecko.

* And I went trolling at Sur LaTable (fancy kitchenwares store), and came home home with a fancy pan for poached eggs.


There was probably even more. I don't know. I'm losing track. What a blur.

Today was big. Today I went in to meet with a new prosthetist for a fitting. I'm not quite sure where this is going yet, but I think the idea is to try getting me into a fake leg again.
It's a loaded topic for me, so I'm not going to bother here about that tonight. I have a conference call in 3 minutes with my co-dance teachers and then I'm down for the count.

Some of you have asked some cool questions in the comments lately, and I will do my best to get to them this week.

snaps on saturday (and now on a sunday)

It's just going to have to be a PhotoFest here this weekend...


Can you believe it? Daffodils in my front yard already ??
Had to share.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a pretty decent weekend. It wasn't the trip away I had hoped for, but it really was a good one. MyFavoriteKid was at his dad's this weekend, and TheMostImportantGuy and I got to spend a lot of time together. We ate out lots (tried a couple of new places, and also went to a few old favorites). We rented a movie and watched the SuperBowl. We went to the zen center for practice. We snuggled lots. And stuff ;-) Had afternoon tea. Took photos of raindrops when it was raining, but when it was sunny, we took a bike ride. Went to the dog park. We even did some errands like oil changes on both of our cars, and going to the futon shop for a new cushion. We also bought and installed some wireless light switches which tickle me pink every time I press them because now I can turn off the lamps that are in hard to access little corners. And dance rehearsal (even though it was smack dab in the middle of everything) was actually a good one.

Now that I write out the list, it sure seems like it was quite the busy weekend, but it was actually relaxed feeling. Full. But relaxed. Hide all
Hope you all had a good weekend, too :-)

snaps on saturday (and this time on a saturday)

I got a bit obsessed today taking photos of raindrops today out the car's sunroof.



It was a big surprise to see them once the got off the camera and onto a larger (laptop) screen. I don't know if you can see it (perhaps click to embiggen?) but the branches of the trees are reflected in the drops.




I love these.