Wednesday, October 18, 2006

excess

I have had many occasions over the past few weeks to reflect on my life and be grateful. "There, but for the grace of (insert whatever you believe in) go I." Those kinds of moments.

I have also had many occasions over the past few weeks to feel overwhelmed by life's excesses.

At present, the list of things that feel excessive seems longer than my gratitude list. And interestingly, there are things on my list of excess that are probably things I should be grateful for as being in my life excessively (like too much sock yarn in my stash). I mean, being that some of these things are good things, and you'd think more of a good thing is, well...a good thing.
But it doesn't feel that way.
Excess is feeling like a burden to me.
And excess feels like it comes with a very high level of responsibility.
----------------

There is/are too many:

details to store in my head
papers piling up on my desk
blogs to read
blogs that all seem to say the same thing
current projects in my knit-basket
new things that I want to knit
knitting projects that aren't showing progress
patterns that are starting to look alike
books and magazines at the book store
books that all look alike
crafty people I feel like tracking to watch everything they are making
bills and not enough money
loads of laundry to do
people at the convalescent hospital I visit who are lonely
spots on the kitchen floor that need mopping up
people parking in handicapped parking spots that don't really need to
illegal aliens--oops, I mean people--living in my neighbors house
balls of sock yarn in my stash that may never get knit
times a day that I sigh
stitches in this lace pattern
craft projects I bought materials for but don't do them
choices
things in my fridge that are spoiling
hungry people in this world
things I'd like to knit/make as holiday gifts in the next few weeks
miles on my car between oil changes
unused items taking up space in my tiny little home
jackets hanging on the coat rack
people who are cold
places I need to be at the same time this upcoming Saturday
unread emails in my inbox
times I behave like a cling-on girlfriend
words I don't know the meaning of
kids in each classroom at my son's school
potholes on the road leading to my house
things that keep me awake at night
times I believe I can't do something, then prove I actually can
times I can't fully articulate what I mean
complain about not being understood
things about people I will never understand
grudges I carry
people dying in violent crimes within a 25-mile radius of my home
things I need to teach my child
things I haven't a clue about
things I thought I understood, but as I get older, understand that I don't
things I could add to this list
things I need to be doing instead of writing this list

3 comments:

~Donna~ said...

So true, so true.

Must be something in the air as this weekend is my time for reflection. The overwhelmed feelings I'm having now are, well, overwhelming. Time to get it out in the open and deal with it.

Many blessings and peace to you AmpuT.

TheBon said...

It does seem to be that time of year to reflect on things. I've spent the week so far doing just that.

Mouse said...

I feel the same way.. too many things going on in my head.
I always assumed it had to do with both Samhain and my birthday falling in the same month.. but I tend to spend too much time mulling things over lately.