in which i solicit

I accept advice when offered, even welcome it...but it is an rare day that I outright ask for it. Especially on the blog. But I'd love to know what you'd do if you were in my shoes (shoe).

(I have just tried editing this and it is rambly and scattered because so am I. Sorry.)

I have someone come in to help me clean my house. The CleaningLady has been coming since last fall. I really like her. She is very sweet, and we chat a little bit about personal stuff from time to time. Very nice person. She worked for MerryMaids when I first had her in, but after awhile she left there to work independently, and was happy to follow her.

In addition to a CleaningLadey, I have a son. He gets an allowance of $10 per week. Seems like a lot for a 10 year old, perhaps...but I make him pay for pretty much everything he covets. His latest goal is a Wii, and he's been saving allowances , gift monies, and forgoing purchasing other things for quite some time now. I think around December, maybe...when he realized that he wasn't get one under the Channukah bush.

Several months ago, February I'd say, MyFK started complaining about how long it's been taking to save up for said Wii, and about every months or so, he pulls out all of his money and counts it, and he's always got pretty much the same amount. He has either just above or below $100. For 4 months in a row now. Of course, this is odd, because at $40 a month of allowance, you'd assume that after 4 months the kid would be closer to Wii-land, right?

I'm sure you know where this is going, but allow me...I need to process this.

So about a three weeks ago, after months of listening to NoWiiWhining for months, and after checking in with my MyFavoriteKid's dad to make sure money wasn't being taken to his house on weekends and being spent in ways I might not be aware of, I realize that the money is being taken, and probably by the CleaningLady.

Three weeks ago, I have MyFK count his money. She comes, she cleans, he counts, less money. I suggest we try one more week. Maybe he counted wrong. We must be sure, I tell him. The next week he counts, she comes, she cleans, less money again. This time I realize that other people had access to the house that same day for that go-round, so we can't be 100% certain.

While waiting for go-round #3 I kinda quiz MyFk a bit. Is he sure he is counting correctly?? Is he maybe doing something shifty with money during the day, like (heavens) buying things he shouldn't be buying, or making friends by being a sugar daddy or something?? Is he stealing the money from himself because I'd told him I'd replace it if the CleaningLady was found out, so that he'd double his money?? (yes, I think he is that clever...and no, he probably is not...he is 10...but I'm his mom).

MyFK is slightly insulted by my questioning, but hey...if I am about to fire someone, I have to ask.

Just a few more details for you....the missing dough is averaging out to be about $10 a week, and MyFK keeps it locked up. His room is furnished with this gym-lockerish stuff from Ikea.



He keeps his money in that white nightstand there. He locks it. Now all the furniture in his room is that style, and it all uses the same key, and he keeps one out all the time plugged into the cd tower, so none of it is burglar proof, for sure. But CleaningLady couldn't have "accidently" opened the nightstand. She'd have had to gotten the key from the cd tower to unlock the nightstand, and there is no reason for CleaningLady to go in there anyhow.

Oh, and a few more details. I do not believe that she has a key to our house. Usually I am here when she arrives. I let her in, and I leave once she gets working to get out of her way. She locks the doorknob behind her. There have been a couple of occasions though where I have left the key under the mat for her because I had to leave before she arrived, and she'd leave the key on my dining room table and let herself out and lock up. This happened one time while I was gone for a week in Boston. She could have had time to make a copy of the key during that week (that would be ParanoidMeWhoMaybeNeedsAtivanForAnxiety talkin').

Ok, so if you are still with me, back to the 3rd go-round.

This week, MyFK is out of town. And CleaningLady came today. And nobody else had access to the house. I counted the money about 3 minutes before she arrived, and then to make things interesting, I sweetened the pot with a couple of 5's a 10 and some singles (I use peanut butter on mousetraps, too).

As I always do, I left while she cleaned. As always, I went out with my dad. We do it every Thursday morning. We run our errands together. Love it.

I came home minutes after she left and immediately counted the money.
$18 gone.
No kid to miscount because this time I counted. Nobody else around. No sugar daddy-ing, no nothing. Just missing peanut butter and a sprung trap.

It's the CleaningLady.
No, I didn't go buying a webcam to nab her (I almost did though!), but it's her. It just has to be.

Right after I counted the money and almost fainted from not breathing, a handyman friend of mine showed up to install a dog door, and he suggested that I stop payment on my check to her that day...pronto. Which I did. (not sure if I should have done that quite yet, read on).

I cannot even tell you how crappy I feel. I shall try, though. I feel the typical violated. I feel like I would have never guessed in a million years that she'd be the type to steal from a me, and even worse...from my kid. Any kid. I feel like I cannot trust my judge of character. I feel like I doubted my own intuition. I feel like I waited too long giving her the benefit of the doubt. I feel like crap for questioning my son's character, even though it was just to be certain, because firing someone without actual proof is a pretty big deal, but still...I doubted my kid, and I know he knows that. I feel like stopping payment on the check may have been bad, that she might retaliate. I feel like I need to change all the locks. I feel like I might not be able to go out on Thursday's with my dad because she knows that is my routine and neighbors wouldn't blink if they saw her car here. I feel pretty sick to my stomach, and this is one of those events that just sort of makes me hate people. I feel like I'd rather have been mugged on the street by a stranger than stolen from in my own home by someone I trusted to have dusting my personals. Gads, she even dusted my altar!! Ugh. And I am sad I have no more CleaningLady, and even if I found a new one, I'm going to now be feeling like they are all sneaky, probably.

Now, I have not called her yet to let her know that my check will not go through and that she has been canned. I want to do that tomorrow after the locks are changed. She may have tried to cash the check today for all I know though, and maybe she is plotting against me right this minute. That is why I am here typing this right now. I skipped teaching dance class tonight! To stay home like a worry wart and look up locksmiths!

So what would you do? I've talked with a few people today about it and I've gotten everything from "file a police report" to "sit her down and talk it out, good people sometimes do bad things" to "go kick her ass". And what do I do about how I feel?

I dunno. I am open for suggestions though. Have at it.



You know what, too? This week has really sucked.

I just need to say that out loud.

I had three doctor's appointments, none of them fun (one of them troublesome), a sleep study, a trip to the vet, a crown replaced, a debit card stolen, and a sneaky CleaningLady. I miss my kid, and I have actually gone to the mailbox every day just to see if he sent a letter home, which if he did, I probably wouldn't get until next week anyhow. I missed dance class, I didn't catch up on the blogging I wanted to (I still have one more day of the Boston trip, plus things around my house, plus ABC-along), I've only caught up on reading a few of the many blogs I am behind on, and I AM TIRED.

I did go buy sock yarn though. Totally to make myself feel better. Lame, I know...but I almost bought chocolate and pack of cigarettes, so I think I did the right thing.

It's Trekking Hand Art in the colorway "Feuerland" (fire land).


I'm calling it "seeing red, feeling like poop".