Friday, June 06, 2008

like mother like dogdog

As a quick health update from yesterday, I was feeling better yesterday until about 2:30 in the afternoon. Then I started feeling warm again, then I started having stomach cramps, and then before I knew it, I ended up having to skip dance class last night because, well.....let's just say I wanted to stay close to the powder room ;-)
UGH.
I think today marks the last of it, though.
*crosses fingers*.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now for real news of the day.....
Like Mother Like DogDog

I'm sure you're going to say, "Yeah. Right." once I show you this photo, but I swear to you, I am not a drunk....


....even though I do live in the presence of one very well stocked Bar.

I do not drink that often. Seriously. But when I do, I-want-what-I-want-when-I -want-it, if ya' know what I mean (kinda like the rest of my life), and I like to be the kind of hostess that makes it so her guests can have the same satisfaction. I can pretty much cover all of your standard desires, and if your a bourbon fan....well, TheMostImportantGuy has you covered, because he's left a few mighty fine bottles of that here, too.

A few weeks ago, I had a serious craving for a White Russian. I wanted a cocktail, and I wanted dessert, and I wanted them in the same glass, damn it... but that is when I discovered that my bar was sorely lacking Kahlua. I grabbed a bottle when I was out shopping last week, and over the weekend I had me a couple. The Dude would have been proud.

The side door cabinets of TheBar, where I usually stash bottles that have been opened or need to be stored upright, were both full (yes, I did say one fully stocked Bar). The Kahlua has a screwtop, so I figured it was safe to stick the bottle into one of the horizontal slots meant for storing wine.

Well, last night, TheEx decided came over. See, he has every Thursday night with MyFavoriteKid normally, so that I can go teach dance class. Even though I was ill and skipped class, TheEx came up anyhow so they could still have their time together, and so I could also enjoy my time in the powder room. Kinda nice of him, actually.

TheEx brought dinner up for them, and they sat down together at the dining room table which is right next to TheBar. At one point I came out to get myself a glass of water, and all of the sudden I hear this "glug-glug-glug" noise. I start to yell out to TheEx and MyFk that someone has tipped over their cream soda, but both of their bottles are upright. I start getting nervous thinking that it's the plumbing from my bathroom (which is on the other side of the wall as TheBar) and since I had been spending so much time in there, but NOooooooo.........

I quickly come in closer to see that the Kahlua is glug-glug-glugging all over the floor. Lovely. Do y'all know just how sticky Kahlua is???!! Think maple syrup. Coffee flavored maple syrup, basically. Lovely.

The bar is on wheels, so TheEx and I start to roll it out of the way so we can clean up the mess, which has also flowed into several of the compartments filled with wine bottles. I say to him, "Dang! I wonder how this happened!!" as I'm making the 3rd pass over the floor (swiffer, not working...damp mop, not working...mop with pine sol, not working....).

TheEx looks me straight in the face and says, "I think the dog did it. I swear I saw him creeping around back there."

The dog. THE. DOG. Ummm, yeah. Sure. The dog opened up a screwtop bottle of Kahlua. RIGHT.
What an ass to even suggest that.

Well, after a bunch more cleaning, we roll the bar back into place and the boys go off to do their thing for the rest of the night so I can get back to my lovely evening in the powder room. Ten minutes later, I start hearing this strange noise coming from the bar again. I come out and there is THE DOG and he is licking THE BAR. I get a close look at his face, and that is when I see it is covered with dark brown coffee flavored syrupy sticky goodness.

That little tickturd had licked the sticky lid of the Kahlua until it spun right off the danged bottle!!!

TheEx could hardly contain himself. I thought he was going to split a gut laughing. He told me that second he heard the glug-glugging he had decided that if I hadn't been in the room the moment the bottle was glug-glugging, he might have just left it there and played stupid because he was so certain I'd never believe it was the dog (damn straight, I would NEVER have bought that line of crap---it's kinda like the proverbial "the dog ate my homework" thing, and I got enough of that while married to him, and I know way better than to buy into that b.s., and he knows I'm right LOL).

He and I were horrible romantic and domestic partners, but I'm glad to say we still like each other enough to get a laugh out of things like this.


It's funny, but the other day I caught the dog up on the coffee table slurping up the milk out of my cereal bowl, and now he's figured out how to open the Kahlua bottle.

Maybe I need to go hide the Vodka.

4 comments:

Mouse said...

Either hide the vodka or teach him how to make a proper drink.. I bet they don't teach THAT in those training classes you're taking him to!

no-blog-rachel said...

Hope like hell he doesn't figure out how to take the cork out of a wine bottle...

Shrinky Inky said...

Are you sure you shouldn't name the dog Brian?

(see Family Guy)

TheAmpuT said...

mouse ~ now THAT would be a trick!

no-blog-rachel ~ teehee!

inky ~ OOoo I'm going to have to track down the reference! I don't watch that show!