Tuesday, October 14, 2008

emotional vomit time. duck.

I think it would be safe to say that today I am having a bit of an emotional meltdown. If blubbering like an idiot when I stop the car at traffic lights is any indication. Or moaning out my suffering pretending that the news radio is going to drown me out so the guy in the crosswalk can't hear me. Right.

Today's audible whining?:
"If one more person asks me for one more thing, I swearrrrrrrrr, I am going to fall apaaaaaaaart. I am responsible for toooooooo many people, creatures, tasks, and thiiiiiiiiings....and no one takes care of meeeeeeeeee eeee eeeeee".

*sob sob sniffle sniffle boohoohoo hoooooooooooooooo*

Yeah. It kinda went like that. And that was while I was driving over to volunteer at the convalescent hospital. Of course once I got inside the place, being there for 2 minutes straightened me right out.

I had heard that one of the guys there (have I written yet about James' roommate being a buddhist monk yet? anyone? please, I cannot handle scrolling through my own blog today).....

Anyhow, the roommate is totally mentally coherent, but he has no teeth (and is blind) and likes ice cream so I brought him a chocolate shake. He told me that he turned 80 last week and he considerred this chocolate shake to be the celebration. He must have thanked me 5 times as he slurped on it.

Like I need to be crying about my shit. Sheesh.

...but just because I feel like complaining a bit more, I did some math today, and guess how much custody TheEx really has? Like, if you added up how many hours there are in the month, and how many he spends with MyFavoriteKid, guess what his percentage is?


If one more person tells me that I should be lucky because TheEx is "in the picture" I think I am going to scream. And do you know what TheEX does during his 11.8% of the time??? He allows himself to be DaddyTheSuperHero with all the fun and less rules and no chores or homework (which, if I need to spell it out for you, makes me MommyTheEvilVillian).

This is NOT "shared" custody.

End of rant.


Anonymous said...

I think you're allowed to complain all you want. Everybody's entitled to a pity day. And you know what? Someone might be worse off than you - but that doesn't lessen or take away how YOU feel.

I hope you feel a bit better tomorrow. But with all you've got going on, if you feel like crying at stoplights for another day - I say go for it!

~Donna~ said...

"Fun" dad and "Evil" mom will switch places...trust me. Ex is learning just how hard it is to discipline his "buddy" now. And let me tell you "Evil" mom's got it easy now... excuse me while i go laugh maniacally as i talk to myself and cry over my dishes. It's the full moon. I had my meltdown at 3am this morning. At least I hope it's a full moon.

Do what you need to do... a good meltdown isn't bad - unless you're ice.

MsAmpuTeeHee said...

OMG, it IS a full moon!!!!
No WONDER I am loopy!!!!!!! gah!!!

Anonymous said...

The best thing I ever did was learn to start saying "no." I can't do it all. It helped me focus on the few volunteer activities I chose to keep and do a much better job on those. Not to mention it kept me from going completely crazy.

The good news is that there IS life after your kid is out of school. And someday FK will appreciate the discipline and boundaries you set.

Be well.

Barbara from Nova Scotia said...

Did you go out and howl at the moon? Good therapy. And there is nothing wrong with a good pity party every so often.