begin again

Hey, y'all! Happy New Year! Welcome to 2010!
The Year of "I Sure Wish She'd Shut the Hell Up!"

I'm not quite sure where Blog365 went off and disappeared to, but the folks over at National Blog Posting Month (ok, the folk being MsEden of Fussy--she's awesome!), they are still blogging full force, and since any month (not just November) can be a blog posting month with them, that's who I'm hooking up with.
I'll just do month after month after month ;-)



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So that photo up there...that's my hand, that's my rock. It does make for a lovely New Year's Day post, doesn't it?? I mean, New Year's Day can be all about resolutions (which I don't make--why bother, 'cuz I make and don't keep) and then there is that fresh feeling of calendars rolling over and all that.

The real point of that rock in my hand though, is to remind me to begin again LIKE EVERY FRIGGIN' SECOND.

I don't know if this is springing out of my zen meditation practice, or if I am just now beginning to get old enough to be done with "getting stuck in the mire of shit that has already happened" and how it prevents me from seeing things as they are in the moment. I do have a history of taking something that has already happened and allowing it to keep me from finishing or doing it again differently. I don't think I do that when it is happening, but with enough hidsight? I do. And I'm starting to see myself getting stuck right as it is actually happening, not even needing hindsight.

I think I used to have to go through this whole process of "Letting GOoooooo" of the old stuff (long process), "forgivvvvvvving myselllllllf" for what I did wrong (even longer). And then "findiiiiiiiing a new wayyyyyyyyyy" to do things (ages--never done).

Lately it's been more like, "Oh! Shit! Look what I just did! Ha! BEGIN AGAIN". Like, without all the attachment to the crap that has already happened, 'cuz guess what: it already happened.

In theory (which has now become my practice), I think it should kinda work more like this:

Don't like what I just said? Begin again.
Don't like what I just did? Begin again.
What I just ate? Begin again.
What I just knit? Begin again.
What I just thought? Begin again.


Not sure if this makes any sense. I'm not even sure if it makes sense to me yet (it's unfolding and evolving). Whether it works or not remains to be seen, but I can sure tell you I'm happier for the trying.