Thursday, June 17, 2010

early circle

Hello, gang. Much of today was spent getting things in order for MyFavoriteKid's birthday party on Saturday....cake, balloons,'s all "ducks in a row" finally. Now I'm getting ready to head out the door for dance class.

Tonight we Circle Dance in honor of Summer Solstice...

...which I do recognize is not until Monday, but class is on Thursdays, so we always celebrate during the class preceding the actual transition.

Honoring the solstices has really shifted for me the last few years. I used to really connect with the "peakness" of the season. Now I connect more with the fact that it is the pivotal moment of turning in to the next. For example even in the darkness of winter, on that longest night when the Winter Solstice arrives, I feel the return of the light.

(*passes you a bowl of granola*)

If past years have been any indicator, Summer Solstice has often felt like, "Oh man, there goes the sunshine," even though the actual transition of feeling shortened days is really months away. But this year? I don't even know what I am feeling! We haven't really had any sort of "real summer" here, weather-wise. I look outside at the garden and the fact that the tomato plants seem so confused, and I'm not even sure I am clear on what season it is at all!

NOW: The cherry tree is waving its leaves at me through the back window. I just realized I didn't do the "Now" thing last night, so...whatever. I'm a loser. I am feeling stressed because even though I really want to be in class tonight circle dancing (and I actually have to be in class tonight...being one of the teachers, and all that), there is this year-long group that I wanted to join, and their first meeting is tonight (all following meetings will be on weekend mornings, so those I can do...just can't do a Thursday). And I can't go. I am stressed because I've been told I will be missing the first "powerfully bonding experience" (yes, that is how it is being described) and that means that if I come along later, starting at session number two, it's going to push all these buttons I have about cliques and groups and fitting in or not fitting in or inserting myself into places I am not welcome or or or...well, I think you get the picture. I haz issues with peoplez.

Off to dance.


Anonymous said...

I'm having trouble wrapping my brain around the fact that it's solstice time already...what with all our stunted plants, tomatoes barely in flower and the chilly wind these last few days...but we'll celebrate, anyway, with oil lamps made from oranges and a summery feast. I only wish I would allow myself to dance (because I never do). Sigh.