Friday, June 07, 2013

dear universe (take 3):

Dear Universe:

Okay. This is my last time asking you. After this, I am calling tech support.
If I can find the universal tech support. And they speak English. ;-)

Soooooooooo things have been happening in three's, and I am now very close to achieving three sets of three!! I should be close to reaching my quota, no??
Let us recap.

Set 1, exploding stuff:
~ exploding locking mechanism in the car (300 clams)
~ exploding cable pops off the pulley of the garage door (200 clams)
~ exploding dog buns, vet bill (500 clams)

Ohhhhh how I wish we paid for things with clams (and that I lived near a clam filled beach).
Who did that, anyhow? Was it Fred Flintstone?? Anyone? Bueller?

Set 2, broken stuff:
~ broken wheelchair (600 clams)
~ broken female plumbing issues and skin issues requiring medical visits, tests, medications (150 clams) <--------but i="" the="">good
news on that front is that the doc called this afternoon with the biopsy results (ie the plumbing report) and it's negative, and that is great news I'm happy to have paid for)~  broken house, as termite inspection reveals some preventative work that needs to be done at YeOldHouse (1000 clams)

As of today, we are now working on...
Set 3, a melange:
~ contractor at YeOldHouse discovers more dry rot today, increasing the amount of work to be done here by close to triple the original estimate. I got the bid, but I am not about to do that amount of clammin' without getting a second bid.
~ contractor at TheNewDiggs breaks the toilet today on Day 2 of the demo of the bathroom remodel. After promising me there would at least be a working toilet downstairs for all but one day of the reno. I'm not quite sure yet if/how that affects "the clam count", but at the very least it means I cannot go to the little girls room during this potentially 6-week renovation without being supervised up a flight of stairs and going up on crutches.  This may only be until the new toilet arrives...but I'm now totally scared to let the new toilet go in temporarily...and out for plumbing...and in again for me to be able to use it....and out again for tile installation...and in again (you get the idea). If I do that, there is potential for damage of the new toilet and I'd almost rather have an upstairs bathroom buddy than risk losing toilet #2. Because that would indeed cost clams.
~ and also today, well....this is not a surprise expense, but I just didn't have it on my radar, and it totally snuck up on me on the worst week possible.  The "doggie day care" passes have just run out, and renewing them is a whoooole lotta clams. I usually buy in bulk so that I get the discount. My dogs had better learn how to dig in the sand along with me looking for clams 'cuz we are gonna need to be clam farmers or they are gonna be looonely little pups.

Universe, I am counting this as 3x3=9.
Please stop the hemorrhaging. 
Or make it rain clams.
I'll even do a clammy rain dance.

It's Getting Very Hard To Take This With A Grain of Salt.
Ever Faithful ~



Lorena said...

So now I'm thinking maybe HaldeCraft Headquarters should move, so I can puppysit (if I can bring my 3-legged dog with me) and also be your bathroom buddy. Because my god, the fun times we would have!!!

PS. Please tell me that dude broke the toilet moving it, and not using it. Because that's totally where my 12-year-old brain went....

Anonymous said...

Thanks for a laugh and a half! I lost both my legs and part of a hand in 2011, and was feeling a little sorry for myself tonight. Not to take away from your "universal" misery, God knows (bad pun) we all share the terrible three's, but your Woody Allen-esque monologue was great! Thanks for making my night.