not much smiling going on around here

We did not settle yesterday.
I'd really like to tell you all the details, but most things can't be disclosed here. Who the hell knows who's reading. Here's what I'm pretty sure I can safely say.

I can tell you that Mediation Man is still working on finding a resolution by having several follow-up discussions with all parties, so it aint over til it's over. It is entirely possible that good news may still be on the horizon, riding on the waves of the mojo y'all sent (thank you everyone!). There could still be some activity this week, but probably not next week due to the holidays. There may even be activity in the first week of January. But once we get much further into January, all players start preparing for a trail.

I can tell you that there is still a high probability of heading to trail, however I can also tell you that one of the key players has a reputation for offering settlements right before, and even during trials. So again, it aint over til it's over.

I can tell you that I felt MediationMan worked very hard to reach a resolution. I perceived him to be very skilled at his career of choice. He took the time to immerse himself in the details, and I felt he kept asking all of the right questions until he felt he had a clear understanding of what was actually being said by me and my crew. It was clear to me that he was doing the same thing for the other side, too. He seemed neutral and fair.

Have you ever had those people in your life that really listen to you, totally maintain an open mind so that can receive more information, and are able to draw multiple conclusions? He was that kind of guy, squared. I mean, I could almost seeing him wearing some type of Mediator Supersuit (I am Mediator Man! Tatadaaaaaaaa!!!). He even took the time to pause amogst the legal-ease to spend a moment with me to have a human to human exchange.

I can tell you that my attorneys are A-Class representatives, not that I didn't know that already, but seeing them in action in this setting, witnessing their strategic processes, reconfirmed that for me.

I can tell you that in my eyes, things did not go badly yesterday. In my eyes, my case still feels strong. Maybe even stronger. I got to hear a little bit of the other side's argument. I think mine's better.

I can tell you that there were 12 people involved yesterday, many with competing interests, and it's very hard to get that many people on the same page, which is a general way of explaining why yesterday didn't end with a resolution.

I can tell you that personally I was doing alright mood-wise, until I called home in the afternoon to say hi to MyFK and see how things were going, only to find out he had left school early because of this:

that would be an adult, front tooth you are looking at

My Favorite Kid (who actally at these moments becomes "Your Son" or "Your Grandchild") was rough-housing with a friend at school and fell forward and chipped his front tooth. Lovely. And expensive. And also where I spent my afternoon today.

But back to yesterday, when I got the news...there I was stuck in the stupid little room, and that's when I really started feeling poopy. I'd been keeping the poopyness under wraps, and having something non-legal in front of me to focus my feelings on just sort of opened up the emotional channel. Wanting to leave to go be with my baby and not being able to was upsetting. I kind of went from a simmer to a rolling boil at that moment, but I didn't show it. I worked with it somehow (I think that's when the chocolate made an appearance).

Also, I can tell you that this morning I feel like a parolee who has been denied. I feel like yesterday was a chance to break out of what feels like my own personal hell, and I feel like not only is my release not happening, but my return to Anxiety State Penetentiary is going to herald even more stress as they are about to take away my yard-time.

I feel like knowing what I know about myself so far through this process, the likelihood of a trip to the darkside is on the horizon. I feel like sitting still will kill me. I think I have to keep moving as much as possible over the next few weeks...really getting out there, being with friends, being outdoors...I think if I don't do that, I'm in trouble. So I'm going to do it. But it's hard. I really would like to crawl in the corner right now, and the weather isn't making that any easier. I'd really rather be all about staying home with a blankie and cocoa and a pile of dvd's during the next few days of ChristmasChaos.

But I believe that for right now, too much time to think is going to be a very bad thing. Being that I do a lot of that knit-think-knit-think-knit thing so much, I'm even considerring not knitting for awhile. Or if if DO knit, I might need to consider more technically challenging projects with high mental distraction value. I'm not entirely sure comfort knitting will work. We shall see.

So. That's me.

I've been out all day keeping busy. Now I'll go read some blogs and find out about you. Then I'm off to Stitch N Bitch for the night.