Tuesday, July 05, 2011


I'm exhausted, tired from being worried, and tired from all the new patient-related care tasks for Riley.

Days of hot compresses multiple times of day, weeks of medication dispensing (not to mention trying to get him to eat it), and months of pureeing dog food.

Between buying a house, renovating the house, renovating the in-law unit of said house, moving & shopping for stuffs....between the teenager and his end of school year needs and summer desires....between my dad's hospitalization and illness and the other dog's surgery, and now this dog's mauling....

I am just about to crack.

For the first time through all of this the last few months, I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's just....
not there.

I feel like I would really benefit by just a day by myself, a day of self-care.....and being that I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, I had actually booked myself a little get away in a few weeks to visit a friend and go to a big knitting event. And now I'm not sure how to make that work, when I now have two pets that can't really be boarded in a kennel anytime soon.

Over the months I have cancelled thing after thing after thing that I might do for myself to care for myself because there have been so many urgent situations that require it....and I'm....well, out of things to give up.

I'm sure that after a good night's sleep tomorrow will look brighter. It always does.
But this is how it looks right now.
And it sucks.


The Bon said...

It does suck. I'm sorry. I love you lady.

Pickyknitter said...

Hugs to you and (gently) Riley. I hope things look better tomorrow. It must be a law of the universe that the grass is greener, because when things look bleak over here (and ohmigod they have been bleak) I can come to your blog and say OMG she has a beautiful house! and can afford to fix it! and a loving not-hubby! who got to move in! and a cute dog! who she can afford to take to the vet! And her dad didn't die! All the bad stuff you have had this year truly sucks. I hope it gets better, better, better. You deserve the knitting retreat and I hope it works out... but if not maybe you will have to kick out the boys for a weekend and have a knitting retreat by the pool. Just remember to use superwash.

Evil_Cat_Grrl said...

I hope that a good night's sleep makes everything feel a bit more manageable.

You sound like you've got an awful lot on your plate...do you have any regular de-stressing techniques, like meditation?

Cate said...

I wonder if there is a way to find pet care...it sounds like you really need a break.

Maybe there's a kennel that would take on the extra work? (I'm not entirely sure what's involved, but I feel like the kennel we use has a staff of animal-lovers who seem pretty willing to do stuff.) Or maybe your vet has a recommendation? Does the vet do boarding?

(I hope this doesn't come off the wrong way, you've probably considered all of it already...just thinking out loud a bit.)

(The mauling is outrageous, by the way...I'm so sorry that happened.)

not supergirl said...

Sleep is so important, I'm glad you're doing that. Hang in there. Nothing lasts forever, even the sucky times don't last forever (at least that's what I keep telling myself). :)