Thursday, July 07, 2011

well, at least one thing is fixed

The tv repair guy (and his young son) came in to fix the boobtube. For months now, when we'd turn it on, it would show all sorts of odd stripe patterns, and you had to turn the tv on and off about 10 times (unless the tv also did it's other neat thing where it turned ITSELF on and off 20 MORE times). Then the picture would come up, but with pixels missing, and that wouldn't resolve until you turned it off and on ANOTHER 5 or 6 times.

Seriously, it took 12-15 minutes just to turn the television.

Well, it's fixed now.

I'm not. I'm back to being one hot mess. I'm a horrible mix of being exhasted from 8 months of constant pressure and keeping a brave face (not to mention a loving, caring, and supportive attitude). I am experiencing quite a bit of a anger with the people around me who aren't cutting me any slack right now---I'm being very clear with everyone that I am maxed, and I'm not feeling supported. Actually, I can live without their support....but they have to at least cut back on their needs and demands on me right now because, sorry dudes, I AM AT A DEFECIT (in other words, if ya aint gonna help, at least stay the fuck outta my way, and can you please stop asking me to do things that I say I cannot).

I'm cranky, I'm angry, I'm exhausted, and I feel a bit like a volcano about ready to spew. I have a bit of cabin fever, and I'm really really worried about my dog and about fourteen thousand other things and people, too.

This is not me dumping here (although I'm sure it looks like it). This is me just telling it like it is, recording who I am..... right this minute.

I need to recharge. Life is pummeling me. And I cant find my way to do it this time, and I cant seem to find help.

Let's try sleeping on it again???

Sent from my iPad


Connie said...

I hope you feel a bit better after a nights sleep. Sometimes all you can do is take things minute by minute...

~Donna~ said...

Let it out, it'll help.

I'm going thru the same sort of thing. Everybody wants from me, but nobody gives back when I need it.

Not fair, but there it is.

My recharge is going out shoe shopping. I won't buy anything but I sure as hell can try on every damn shoe I get my grubby little hands on...oddly enough, that helps. :)

nto supergirl said...

Oh, I hear you. Recently had to confront a friend with a very similar scenario. Life has calmed down for me somewhat since then, but wow, it was a difficult time. Hang in there. It's wonderful that you're being honest with people about your limitations, though it sucks that they're not hearing it.
Best to you and the fam (and the dog).

Ruth Spears said...

I have to tell you a story. My daughter (grown) says everyone has so many "people points" at the beginning of the day. Some days more than others - also depends on how crazy you are. When you have to deal with stupid people or demanding or inconsiderate people - for whatever reason - you gradually use up your people points. When they are gone - look out! Zero to bitch in 0.3 seconds can be expected. I think about that when I've already had my "can full" by noon and just want to retreat to the bedroom. Maybe you need to recharge your people points????

thestashattacked said...

Well, now your TV's working. Watch whatever you feel like watching tonight! :D

M-H said...

I've just caught up with you - I can't believe you are still standing! Please take care of yourself and try and resist all this pressure you are feeling. Keeping yourself sane is the main thing you have to do. Sending hugs from downunder.

Lorena said...

I have demands to make on you. I demand you tell yourself you're OK ("you're good enough, you're smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like you!"). I demand you go pet some fiber (of the knitting variety, not of the housepet variety). I demand you pour yourself a nice cuppa and take five minutes. I demand you pretend that I am standing right in front of you, hugging you, and taking on any of your burdens that I could, just to ease your heart. MY DEMANDS: LET ME SHOW YOU THEM. Ooo, and I demand that the next time someone starts a sentence to you "would you mind...." that you interrupt them with "would you mind shutting that whale vagina you call a piehole?!"

*love you*

(And I hope you know this was written with humor and love, and not with real demands!!!)