Friday, March 09, 2012

i'm thinking it's a good sign

Last night I was sitting on my bed petting Riley, and I was looking at the little scar on his lip that he got last summer from the pit bull attack (of course that LittleScar being nothing compared to the BigFatScar running up the whole right side of his poor little body that he got that very same day).

I have a little scar on my upper lip too, and one big long scar running up the middle of my body (and a whole mess of other scars, actually), all courtesy of my car accident....and as I was petting Riley last night, I was thinking about how it hasn't even been a year for him yet, and how I will always remember the date his injuries were incurred because the pit bull attack was on the 4th of July, and then all of the sudden it was like....hey!

I missed the anniversary of the car accident this year!

Now, I sort of missed it last year, too...and in my mind, this is real progress. The first year or two after the accident, I marked the date. Also, for the first several years after the accident I would feel anxiety creeping up for a week or two before without knowing why it was happening....and then I'd realize that the accident anniversary date was creeping into my subconciousness like a little ticking time bomb. Then I had a few years of being spotting the anxiety early on and learning how to deal with it. Now, in the last couple of years, it's just started to become less and less of a deal to me.

But this year was altogether different. Guess what happened this year!

This year, I couldn't even remember THE DATE.

That's right. As I sat there petting the dog, I realized I didn't even know the date of the accident anymore. I knew it was sometime in early March, but I couldn't even tell you when anymore.

I had to look it up on my blog.


Now, maybe I missed it because I was sicker than shit on March 3rd (in fact, that's the day I spent not only sick in bed with this stupid cold, but that was topped with a migraine so bad I was tossing my cookies the whole friggin' day)....but I didn't remember the anniversary of the accident in the days before or after either.

I am thinking that this sort of forgetting is a good sign. A very good sign.

Happy It's-A-Whole-New-Life Day to me :-)