Thursday, December 30, 2010

11th hour

It's almost the new year.

And I have, for a second time now (providing I post something tomorrow), blogged for 365 days in a row.

A full pass around the sun.

I did it in 2008, and now here again for 2010, and lemme tell ya'....2009 was a weird year without it. There aren't very many disciplines I perform daily. Posting something every day is something that has now become a part of me in many ways. My blog is a friend to me, and you all are friends to me, and in some ways it's hard to imagine life without it.

Sometimes what I write surprises even myself. A deep great peering into myself, if you will. Sometimes what I don't write is equally as telling to me, and lets me know where I need to gain more comfort with myself, or where I need to grow.

I have spent a portion of November and December thinking about whether or not I would continue with this routine in 2011. It seems like I want to, but it also seems like if I do it needs to be different. I want to improve my writing. I want to take a crack writing about the things I think I am not a good enough writer to write about. I want to try to express things that I feel like I don't have words for. I want to share quirky things I feel and see and think and do. I want more structure for the blog on the days I feel like I can't pull it out of myself...a method, a tool, a little nudge on those days to get the creative juices flowing.

And when I get to thinking like that, about structures and tools and regiments, it gets exciting....but then all of a sudden the task of daily blogging seems to get overwhelming...and feeling like something I might fail at...

...and when I fear failure, my modus operandi is to just do nothing at all.
Deer + Headlights:

That's me.

And so now, here I am. At the end of the year. Trying to figure out what to do about next year. Right. Down. To. The. Wire.

I guess maybe I just start January 1st and see how it goes? And "drop out" early if it aint workin'??


Joan-in-Albuquerque said...

Hi--De-lurking to say I love reading your blog. Thank you. I don't recall how I found you, but I have enjoyed every day with you this year, starting with the "begin again" rocks last January.