Tuesday, February 21, 2006

knitting knerd

Last weekend was a Mommy & MyFK weekend...but MyFK spent a huge chunk of Saturday figuring out how to get me to take him to a place that he frequents with his dad. He wanted to go to this store where "gamers" of all types congregate. They play trading card games and computer games and what-not.

I reallllllllly did not want to go.
It was a major battle of wills.
But he's sharp for an 8 year old.
And apparently I've done a fantastic job teaching him that negotiating with logic and reason is far more successful that whining and pouting.

He knew I had a chore I needed help with, and he knew that I was behind on my Olympics Knitting, so I went down in defeat when he offered that not only would he help with the chore before going, but that I’d be able to sit and knit while he played games at this store. He insisted this game place was "quiet", but since we clearly do not share the same definition of what "quiet" really is, I was doubtful.

I agreed to be there for one hour.
I was there for three.

He was right. It was quiet.
And I got a bunch of knitting done.
And I’m such a sucker.

But I felt like a total freak at this place!

To the right of me were 35 or so computers all filled with nerds playing on-line video games. The computers had headphones, so it was true--it was relatively quiet. Yay.

MyFK was in heaven. He was networked up with a group of 3 other kids to play LordOfTheRingsBattleForMiddleEarth (remember, this must be blurted out like a run-on sentence), which is his favorite game, the one that lately has had him commandeering my computer.

Across from where I sat were the card collecting dudes, playing a game called VS. I only know about this phenomenon because MyFK's dad plays it...and by the looks of things, when he plays there, he must be the oldest guy in the game store. Yikes. Anyhow, the card game involves a whole lot of discussion about being a Super Hero. It was hilarious listening to these guys “battle” each other. Apparently Spiderman and The Incredible Hulk are not friends. Who knew.

Sitting to my left was a gaggle of nerds gearing up for a game of Dungeons & Dragons. I could have sworn that game died out in the late 70's, early 80’s. Apparently it’s stood the test of time. This group of gamers included the only other female in the store...a very cute, but extremely nerdy girl in glasses. She kind of looked liked Velma going under cover at the Renaissance Faire. Anyhow, if this girl fancies cute nerdy boys, she’s a smart cookie…at this joint she's pretty much going have her pick of the litter, sans competition.

And in the middle of all this gaming action, sat me. Gimp Knitter.

For awhile, I just sat there gawking, while rating and ranking the nerd level of every single person in the place.

My greatest source of entertainment was checking out all of their nerdy paraphernalia. Stacks and stacks of D&D books, the special little score pads (one gamer was even keeping track with pen that looked like a magic wand), the little boxes and binders of carefully sheathed and protected trading cards....all organized and such (I’ll bet their rooms look like pig stys). Oh, and then there was the guys with all the fancy 18-sided dice and their shiny little trinkets and tokens for keeping track of lord-knows-what.

What nerds!!

Meanwhile, I am preparing to knit, so I am:
....sorting and organizing my index cards that has each row of my lace pattern printed them
....putting on the little row counter that I wear on a chain around my neck.
....spreading out my lace panel, fondling it, scanning for errors, admiring my genius.
....wishing there was another knitter present so we could hold it between us and wave my in-process-shawl around like a flag of infinished triumph.
....settling in with my knitting and the current issue of Interweave and a pile of stitch markers and a bag of Corn Nuts and a bag of Whoppers, all of which is artfully arranged around me like a little nest.
It is at this moment that I realize I am a complete knitting knerd.
And that I am in the wrong store.
This is not a yarn shop.
I need a yarn shop. Quick.

I look up and all the nerds are staring at me.
I am probably completely disrupting their fantasyland.
Hand knitting is far too practical an activity for a land full of wizards and goblins and super heroes.

I almost jumped up and shouted, "If someone you love made you hang out at the Local Yarn Store, we’d never ever look at you like you were a freak for sitting at the back table with your laptop and playing StarWars!! We’d be happy you gave us an uninterrupted chance to be swimming in yarn. SO. SHUT. UP."

But I didn't say anything.
I just sat down and ate my corn nuts.

And knit.
I got a ton of knitting done.
And MyFK told me I was better than Wonder Woman for taking him.
But let’s hope I don’t get suckered into spending too many days there.

Oh...there was this one really funny picture up on the wall there. Have to share it:


The Olympics Update:

Who knows if I’m going to make the rush for gold. I have noooo idea at this point. I was about to throw in the towel the other day because I was so far behind. I'm thinking maybe I'm a bronze or something.

Based on the pattern, I need 11 repeats of the lace pattern. Based on my gauge (I am using a heavier yarn than what the pattern calls for), I was thinking maybe I’d do 10.

I’m only into my 7th repeat right now, and I think I’m getting ready to stop. Not because I’m trying to cheat and speed skate the 500-meter instead of the 1000-meter that I signed up for. But because I think if I go any further, this thing is going to look more like a blanket than a shawl!! It already reaches from my neckline to my butt at 6 repeats, and unlike the lace-weight the designer used, this isn’t going to drape the same. I still have yet to add the top edge and the bottom ruffle.

So I might be okay timewise.
Who knows.
This morning I tried to reread the section of the pattern that calls for picking up the provisional cast on to knit the border, and suddenly it looked like it was written in Greek.

We’ll see what happens.


Anonymous said...

Too funny. You are right, you are a knitting nerd....in the wrong environment. Very well written from the outsider's POV. If you really want to know what it's like, you should see what a tourney is like...lol or opening of a new set....like a feeding frenzy....lol....good job.

Anonymous said...

You deserve medals in both knitting and being a great mom for that.

Anonymous said...

ohhh, this was rich! perfectly captured and hysterical and sweet all at the same time. awesome work, knerd!