Thursday, March 09, 2006

comments on comments

But first...
a little ampuTEEHEE for you:

Yesterday I had to make a pit-stop at one of those humungous hardware/home supply stores. Just to set the visual stage for you, I was wearing my prosthesis (my prosthesis looks robotic and mechanical) and I was wearing capri length pants. I was also wearing a poker face, because I have pulled this shennangian many times.

This is my routine:
I wait until someone comes up and asks me if I need help finding anything (and if I have to wait long enough, I not beyond approaching the customer service desk). Then I tell them one of the following:

* that, "my leg has been making this really squeeky noise, and could they suggest something other than WD-40, because WD-40 is not recommended and will void my warranty..?"
* or that, "I broke this little small spring thing inside my fake knee, and I need to jerry-rig some kind of replacement until I can get it into the shop. Can you help me?"

There are other versions, but you get the gist.

I've gotten really good at not laughing while the poor sould stands there, mouth hanging open and/or fumbling for ideas. I've also gotten really good at making them feel bad when they ask me if I'm joking. If I'm really bored, I've even let them go ahead and call the manager for help.

I only pull this crap when I'm alone.
Anybody else with me would have to be quite the actor (one of these days I need to have someone lurking to catch this on video, though... "Smile! You're on Candid Camera!")

I don't just do this in hardware stores, by the way....
sometimes when I'm not wearing my prosthesis, I'll go into a shoe store, go through the whole fitting process, and then ask them how much it is for just the one shoe.
Highly entertaining.
Ok. SO. Comments on Comments.....

Janey writes:
In fact, I am going to join "other Olympians who didn't quite finish, but are still running toward the finish line nonetheless", at the Turtle Along.....
I thought about joining you, but I'm having serious issues sticking to one project since the Olympics. I've the got the 2nd glove sitting next to the computer, MyFK's socks in my purse, Latifa is done and being ruffled, and the Olympics Shawl is next to the bed (where I am mostly sleeping for a change and not knitting).

But thanks for letting me know...I'm watching you guys!

Anonymous gave me the mathmatical answer to the decibal question regarding children on a field trip bus...
I love geeks.

Gray...thanks for all your kind words of support ;-)

Jodie said...
Have you frogged any sweaters before. I tried to recently, but it ended up being a ton of work. One of the sweaters is a nice dark blue wool, but the sides are surged together so they are really hard to get apart.
Yes, I've frogged sweaters before, and some are easier than others....but I wanted to warn you that you cannot frog a sweater that has been surged (well, you can, but you will end up with lots of short little one yard pieces of yarn!).
When sweaters are surged, the manufacture is basically taking a huge bolt of machine knitted fabric, cutting out the pattern pieces (much like sewing), and then sewing/surging the pieces together before the fabric unravels all over the place. THERE IS NO CONTINUOUSLY KNIT PIECE OF YARN!
You need to rip apart sweaters that have pieces that are knitted separately (either by hand or by machine), and then SEAMED (they same way a hand knitter would do finishing).
There is a really good tutorial for ripping out a sweater here (this is how I learned):

I really like that shirt! I'm going to have to think about getting one of those for me since I'm an amputee knitter myself
YAY gimp knitters unite! hahaha
I just ordered my shirt yesterday. Can't wait to wear it!

jodi writes:
When you say that you improvise movements in response to ideas, I can't really get my head around that at all. (did I ever tell you about the six months of bellydance classes, after which I still can't shimmy? pathetic).
You know, I really want to answer that, and I really don't know how, because I'm a dancer who doesn't do the visual art piece. I feel like it must have something to do with having a visual impetus for creating something, and then using those images to feed your artwork (whether it be dancing or printing or knitting)...but I'm not sure that's all of it. You've really got me thinking.

However! My co-teacher IS both a wonderful painter and beautful dancer, and I mentioned this to her last night. She says that over the years she's been examining the connection (and sometimes lack of connection) between her painting and her dancing. We have a date to talk about it tonight after stay tuned, and with any luck I'll have something for you tomorrow. Or who knows...maybe she'll just comment *cough-cough* (she's a lurker here *giggle*).
Oh, the pressure.

As for the shimmy thing? Wellp, I know you are going to have a horrible time understanding this...every student of mine does...but this is a fact: it's almost impossible to LEARN how to shimmy. Shimmying is not an actual dance move. Shimmy comes from release....realease into a dance move. A (real) shimmy is literally the tissue and musculature releasing from the skeleton, and it happens almost as a reverberation of a movement. I've never seen it work when only comes when you completely relax, and when you completely don't think about it. I think it took me just over a year before a shimmy found its way onto my body.

And no, I didn't know about your taking bellydance classes! I was wonerdering if you'd ever gave it a whirl. You seem like the type of gal that would dig it ;-)
If you ever get out to California on a Thursday, look us up...we have a whole lot of fun.

Carol writes:
Oh boy, do I ever sympathize (or do I mean empathize) with the kid thing! My oldest is 8, too, and he is very much as you describe. The kind of kid who says "Mom, I'm going to play a video game. Will you come watch me?"

Good grief, I thought I had the only kid on the planet who asked me to to that. It's comforting to not be alone.
But I'm almost ashamed to admit this...I cultivated that beast allllll by myself.

See, MyFK and I used to share a video game interest in common. I loved to watch him play Animal Crossing. I initially patted myself on the back for being such an interested and involved parent, and for choosing such a wonderful game!
No violence, very have a little house and you have a job so that you can save to buy stuff to decorate it. You dig for fossils, and go fishing, and collect bugs, and donate to the write letters to the cute little towns people, and you help them run errands. VERY CUTE GAME.

But did I sit and knit while he played??
Yeah, for awhile.
But then I ended up getting addicted just watching.
So much so, that when MyFK asked me to get my own memory card and make my own little town, too (cuz you can go go "visit" each others towns and shit), I practically ran to Toys-R-Us.

I should mention that TheMIG turned us onto this it aint just for little kids (there's a whooooole bunch of big kids out there playing, too)...and I used to snag TheMIG's memory card and MyFK and I would go visit his little town, too...picking his weeds and stuff).

But then the bad parenting thing happened.
MyFK and I got to playing so much that I actualy bought a 2nd Game Cube because we weren't sharing well.

I know.
Not so good.

After awhile, MyFK moved on to other video games that I didnt want to watch (or listen to, for that matter....have you heard some of the sounds tracks on these things??)

And I kept playing Animal Crossing.
It was eating up knitting time, eventually I gave up interest. But not before buying the Nintendo DS version last November. That lasted about a month and then I got burned out, thank goodness. Which reminds me, I need to sell the 2nd Game Cube and maybe the DS...nobody uses them.

So there you have it.
The ugly truth..hahahaha.

jodi also writes:
I have to say that reading a parenting book during your five days off from parenting is like being given a week's worth of homework for what they call spring break here

You know?!
Thank you very much.
Back to knitting I shall go.


Gray said...

in re "Low Depot"-

Now that really shows a lot of self confidence and a remarkable sense of humor. More power to you!

Enjoy your knitting.


Carol said...

I am still cackling at the hardware superstore story.

Now I wonder what would happen if you went into a big box craft store and when they asked you for help, you told them you were looking for a pattern for a knit prosthetic cozy?


Gray said...

You could enquire if the auto shop will do a "retread."

Anonymous said...

That whole bit about the video game thing reminded me of when my son was super into Thomas the Tank Engine and watched those videos incessantly. I didn't realize that I was hooked until one day when I was super stressed out and frazzled and realized that all I really wanted to do was sit down and watch a Thomas video - even though he wasn't there with me!