Saturday, March 25, 2006

see, i told you so

let me repeat: you really *are* at the wrong blog...
let me add to the list of things that I am not: I am not an expert blogger/writer, either.
(I'm more like a Jacqueline Of All Trades, Mistress of None)

DANG, I really must find a way to translate my voice of sarcasm onto the page.

I queried a few folks who know me "live and in person" who had read that last post. Knowing my conversational style and my off-color humor, they reported that when they read it they completely cracked up laughing.

(although the comments were wonderful and insightful, it seems to me that...) My online friends didn't have the same humorous reaction. And if that's the case, well then, I must really work quickly to find my writer's voice. I'm guessing that because I write so openly and honestly about certain things, that at other times it's hard to discern whether I'm being serious or a complete smart-ass. But let me warn you. My smart-ass is pretty damn big and bootylicious.

No, I will not podcast as a way of sorting this out.
I will see what I can do to be more obvious about the TeeHee part of AmpuTeeHee.
Maybe a disclaimer or something?? Something like: (note--this is where you are supposed to laugh and not take me seriously)

For the record, my last word on the topic of this phobia:
* Personally knowing people who are phobic, I do not think phobias are ridiculous.
* That being the case, I have never in my life even remotely considerred the possibility of an amputee phobia (but being that I know someone phobic of "little people", I can't rule it out).
* I honestly could give a shit if you break down in a conniption fit or go into seizures due to my presence. That is your problem, not mine...I have my own problems related to my "condition", thank you very much.
* I think you are up Shit's Creek without a spoon if you have this phobia and end up being an amputee yourself (which I find hysterically ironic in a very twisted way...kind of like my thought that the people who crave to become amputees should go clear landmines).
* And I think that the website that claims to cure all phobias might as well be selling Castor Oil as their cure. (note re: the Castor Oil---this is where you are supposed to laugh and not take me seriously)

oh, and the visual of a page-full of gimps popping up out of the book of phobias got me so good I had to wipe coffee off my screen! ...thank you Sara!


Anonymous said...


So relieved. Really. And I should have known. But fear that you were just being super-compassionate, ultra-sensitive, etc., made me want to try to be kind and helpful to you in your distress -- at least insofar as my inner bitch would allow.

(And Mercury goes out of retrograde with a bang. Coffee spit has been returned in kind. Got a paper towel?)

Gray said...

I thought that my response was a humerous riposte to la MaƮtresse de Rien.

I think that we are right blog after all.

Anonymous said...

I can hear the humor in your written voice. Mostly because I'm always joking about stuff like this myself. Some of the ridiculous stuff you run into being an amputee, it's impossible to take it too seriously.