Tuesday, November 14, 2006

ok, so now what

a box of dsl hell

Prior to today:
* The computer has dial-up.
* The cell phone loses it's charge after 15 minutes of talk time.
* The television does this occasional thing where the whole screen scrunches down into a 3" high band of flattened images.

Seriously. What a joke.
The computer line...well...that should go without saying. I'm fed up that I'm missing out on all the YouTube fun and podcasts and whatnot. Friends keep sending me links to stuff that I can't even enjoy. Grrr.
The cell phone. The batteries were so old that they would no longer hold a charge, and the model of the phone was so old that they didn't even sell replacement batteries anymore. I was rudely hanging up on people mid-conversation, with no way to call them back. Lovely.

The television. I bought it brand new. In 1994. Last year I started noticing this green splotch on the left side every once in awhile. Then about 3 months ago though, it started doing the scrunchy 3" high screen thing. For a long time, I was able to play "Arthur Fonzarelli and the jukebox" with it. I'd walk by the tv, kind of bop it in just the right place, and it would spring back to life. MyFK thought that was one awesome trick, and so he started to hit the tv, too. Being that he doesn't know his own strength (especially when he's pissed because he favorite show is being interrupted), he was banned from being The Fonz. But that didn't stop MyFK from jumping up and down. One day he figured out that if he stood in just the right place and acted like a gorilla, the tv would occasionally come back up full screen. It has been three months of a stomping angry kid. I've dealt with it very well, and I've taught him all the important lessons about anger management, the unimportance of television and material things, and patience blah blah blah...but I think I'm done. I've done my duty.

SO. I have been extremely fed up with my archaic technology. But I haven't been able to do anything about it. The money, you know. No leperachauns, no rainbows. So I've been sitting here waiting for just the right moment--you know, the one where the stars and the planets align and a very good deal presents itself just at the moment when there is a little something extra in the till.

Enter Today:
* In the mail arrives the box o'DSL stuff. The monthly is only 5 bucks more than what I was already paying for dial-up, and the equipment is free once I mail in the rebate. The monthly fee goes up in a year, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

* I got a new phone. My cell company plied me with $100 towards a new phone if I renewed my contract, which had just expired...and the phone I wanted had a $50 mail-in rebate. Bingo.

* I got a new tv. Certainly not for free, but it is nothing fancy. The cheapie kind. The kind with the sticker on it that says that in February 2007 I wont even be able to use it without some convertor. Another bridge I'll cross when I get there.

And here I am tonight (please be kind in remembering I lack the geek gene):
* I can't figure out the dsl stuff. Most of the instructions for hooking it up make sense, except for the part about where to stick my filters and that other part about how I am supposed to "train" the dsl box thingy for 10 days. Me?? Train IT?? hahaha

* The phone...well, I figured out how to change the ring-tones, and I chose the one that sounds like an old fashioned 1930's handcrank phone ...hahaha. Supposedly this cellphone does everything. It even holds 2gb of music, but I'm so lame that I can't even get the damn software installed correctly. Maybe in the meantime I can get it to go next door and spit flames at the Neighbor guy's white thingy.

* The tv is hooked up and running fine. Except that I can't figure out how to program it onto the universal remote that goes along with the satellite box. I can't find the manual with all the little code things, ya know? So I called the satellite company, and customer service referred me to .pdf file....a user's manual...except that it's 165 freakin' pages long and is taking forever to download as I AM STILL ON DIAL UP, bitch!

And I can't call the satellite company back and make them lookit up because they're closed now, and even if they were open, I have to charge the cellphone now anyhow, which only came out of the box partially charged.

So whatever.

TheMIG arrives tomorrow night with his cape on (yay!).
And all will be well with the new electronica.


M-H said...

Bonnie, recharge that cell phone completely before you use it. Seriously. Don't take it off the charger until it's full. I did that with my last phone and it never ever charged fully after that.. Well, maybe it's an old married person's tale, but I believe it.

And congrats in getting rid of some of your frustrations, anyway. Well, maybe tomorrow...

Hannah said...

I'm relieved to know there is another blogger who is behind the times technologically! We just got DSL last week. Still don't have a cell phone, believe it or not--partly because I can't use one and partly because David is thrilled not to be attached to a pager anymore like he was in med school and residency. And our tv? We got it when David's grandmother died--in 1994. It was her older set. And it is in the closet. We listen to the radio.... Do they still make these?

Mouse said...

If it has to do with something techy.. I give it directly to my husband and have him give me the short short version of how to work the thing. Otherwise.. I'll break whatever it is. Me and technology hate each other.

Anonymous said...

I love listening to your battles with technology. I occasionally get calls from my mom that include questions like "what is bluetooth? The cell phone people say I need bluetooth, do I?" or "Ask TheBoy if he knows what's wrong with my computer it's doing blah blah blah?" Now, most of the time I can answer the computer questions, she just wants to make TheBoy feel loved.

Anonymous said...

"banned from being The Fonz"

Oh, how this made me laugh.

If I did not also have a caped geek, I wouldn't even have an automatic dishwasher.

So...wait...the TV we bought in 1995 isn't going to work after February 2007? When it had a little problem with the on-off switch, we took it to a repair guy because I am very anti-waste and it's otherwise been a perfectly good TV. That was, like, five years and $65 ago. Really, it's a perfectly good TV. If I have to throw it out in February or spend some ungodly amount to keep it working, I may just stop watching TV altogether.