Wednesday, March 16, 2011

why fake it

I'm in a pretty upset state at the moment. I want to go lie down and cry for a bit, and maybe see if I can do an instant download onto the Kindle of "Contractors for Dummies" or something. But I don't feel like I can do any of those things, because I need to post first (ahhh the joys of Blogging 365).

We interviewed the third contractor tonight, and by an interesting turn of events, a fourth one slid in right behind him.

What's got me so upset is that TheMostImportantGuy and I are really processing all the information really differently. He seems very logical and methodical about comparing. I, on the other hand, true girl that I am, am having pretty strong feelings about each of these contractors. We are totally not hearing each other or understanding each other, because right now TheMIG and I aren't even speaking the same damn language. No matter what I say right now, it's wrong....and I'll bet he feels something similar...but it's really just because the head and the heart don't speak the same language, is all.

My feeble attempt at this is for us to sit together and make up a pros and cons list for each contractor we've met so far, so we can see it in front of us more clearly. Except that TheMIG made a very linear excel spreadsheet with check boxes, and I am writing out full sentences about what I like or don't like each of the people we have interviewed.

And so here I sit, not wanting to be blogging at all, because I'd rather be trying to sort this out somehow with TheMIG who is here for the night, the only night this week.

I was going to find some random thing from the internet to stick here tonight and not say a word about any of this, but hey.
Why fake it.


Lorena said...

Big hugs to both of you. I could ramble on for a long time about how stressful buying and renovating is, and how you're not alone, but I don't want to sound like I'm marginalizing how you feel -- just know, darling, you're not alone. HUGS. Did I say hugs? Hugs.

Pep said...


From what I can read, start work at home can be frustrating ... In this sense I was lucky and was something "light" ... I hope you come soon and happy solutions rather than mourn for material things (trust me, not worth it) you can laugh at how well will your home ...
Again, I apologize for my bad English, but I'm glad to read and comment on your blog so interesting.

Greetings from the island of Mallorca (Spain)

not supergirl said...

I'm glad you didn't fake it. Your description of the struggle feels so familiar to me. Also, when it comes to contractors and other service providers, I think the feelings *are* important. So there.

Maggie said...

Back when I was a real estate agent, I learned that this happens in nearly every situation where a couple is buying and renovating, or even redecorating, a home. A less-stressful version happens just with moving into a home even if you're not 'working on the building' first.

I wish someone had told you, at the start of this process, to practice deep breathing, cutting each other more slack than usual, listening with more openness than has generally been required. The process you are in IS stressful. And you're doing it, in part, because of how clear you are that your partnership works well and is worthy of this new home.

In every couple one person is more comfortable with the checklist approach and one person is more comfortable with the discussion approach -- just as one person likes the temperature just a degree or two warmer than the other, and they generally drink their coffee slightly differently.

Exhale. Pause. Inhale as slowly as possible. Pause. Repeat.

Hugs to both of you.

thestashattacked said...

Metaphorically clicking your Ravelry Love button.