Friday, February 01, 2013

we're all pooped

I had a long day of running around and then a full evening of party prep (I'm throwing a party at TheNewDiggs tomorrow....yay!)

Poor MyFavoriteKid.  He got up at 6am to be at school by 7 for drumline rehearsal before school, and the I delivered lunch/dinner to him in the parking lot after school, because they had another rehearsal after school, and it lasted until 8:30pm!  When I finally picked him up, he came completely unglued and ranted for a good long while about how it takes too much energy to do well.

This worries me. Greatly. This is almost exactly what happened to me, and it's freaking me out to hear him in the same place.  I worked my ass off to get good grades. I got more crap when I didn't do well than I got kudos when I did do well, and I felt like I had to be perfect (even if that wasn't what was being asked of me). I finally couldn't take it anymore, and I literally went from being a straight-A student and a cheerleader one day, to being a failing student and hanging out with the kids that get stoned in the parking lot before school.  I did that from the tail end of 9th grade all through 10th grade. By 11th grade I figured out how to hang out with the stoners in the parking lot before school but still get good grades. I even made up for all the classes I had bombed.  But what a mess I had made in such a short period of time.

This is not what I want for MyFK. 

(parenting advice welcome)


Linda said...

It seems inadequate, but simply listening to his rant, then limiting any comment to something like 'You seem/sound upset. Would you like a hug?' will establish both that you're listening (which is the only critical piece that anyone venting wants: a sympathetic listener who won't lecture) and that you care.

Anonymous said...

That's to long of a day for anyone, especially if he has homework as well, how would he feel about cutting out the drumline work and find something else or just do school work for awhile and being willing to accept slightly less then A.
Cassie Edmonton, Alberta

=Tamar said...

Give him kudos for the good things.
Find a time when he isn't exhausted (and if that's hard to do, think about that really hard), and discuss with him what he is willing to let go of, so as to have more energy and time to be a kid. Don't let the school/bandleader/whoever bully him into keeping too many extracurricular activities. Find out if there's something he'd like to quit but thinks you'd be upset if he did.