well helloooooo!

Too bad there isn't a way to hug a blog and tell it how much you've missed seeing it.

I'm still trying to figure out where my life is taking me, but I seem to be being lead down the path of "making" more. I'm not sure what will come of it, but meanwhile, I'm going to keep making things until more is revealed.

As for today, there's been some coffee, some emptying of suitcases and laundry (we have just returned from some travel), some listening of audiobooks and podcasts, and then....there has been The Hand Sewing (yes. Caps. I bow to it.) 

I have totally fallen down into the Alabama Chanin rabbit hole, and I don't expect to climb out of it any time soon because quite frankly, it's enchanting.  I saw a loooovely Chanin inspired sundress a year (or more?) ago and I thought to myself:
a) this is completely unattainable for me and beyond my skillset, and
b) if I start, I might not be able to stop.

Well, I was correct about the latter, but happily incorrect about the former. Since I saw that first dress I have done a couple of other hand sewn projects, and I loved the result plus the actual making. In doing those projects I also learned that imperfections are not so bad...in fact, they actually add charm and character...and realizing that let me off the "I need it to be perfect" hook.  

Right now I'm practicing reverse applique on a triangular bandana shaped scarf. I'm not much a wearer of headscarves (and I might just wear it around my neck instead), but I'm treating this project as a fabric swatch, for skills practice, because practice I must. I can totally see garments (like these for example) in my future so I'd rather work out the kinks on a few smaller projects first!
 

Using Natalie Chanin's first book and the template that came with it, I cut my own felt stencil and then I painted my own fabric (getting happy results with the paint took a few tries and few different paint products).  The stenciled fabric has been placed on top of a backing fabric, and I've hand sewn through both layers around the painted shapes. Then I'm cutting away the fabric centers to reveal the fabric underneath. Some of the paint remains around the edges of the shape, which is part of the design (it adds color to the finished piece).  I used a slightly metallic paint.

You can really make these pieces your own by mixing up the fabric colors to get high or low contrast as well as playing with the paint and thread colors. And then when you're done with choosing all that, you can still add beads and sequins or more embroidery to your project if you want! The sky is the limit. It is feeling very playful to me. 

I'm almost done with this bandana, so today I'm also doing the prep work for the next project (prepping the fabric for stenciling and working on the stencil itself).  Since the crafty bug has definitely bitten me, I'll be back to show you a few things soon, and then we'll see how this all factors into my writing more.
I'm hoping the two are linked.
I miss it here :-)

the trouble with horses

The trouble with horses is that it's sometimes a challenge to get back on them once you fall off.


I am sorry for disappearing so completely from the blog-o-sphere, my friends. I think some of you are a bit annoyed with me that I didn't make some sort of announcement before taking a hiatus, but believe me when I tell you, it was totally unplanned.

It started with encountering some mechanical issues (which is probably not the correct term. I'm sure "computer-dork user errors" is far more accurate).  I couldn't get posts created easily enough while going back and forth between houses.  This could not have happened at a worse time, because things in my life were beginning to move and shift quite dramatically. Not only did I need to "tell you"...but I need to do some deep thinking and writing and editing in order to tell you.  I got so frustrated with the mechanical issues on the blog, that I resorted to doing all of my emotional processing internally, or out loud with friends in real life (who I am certain are sick to death of hearing about everything). By the time I had either internalized and/or vented, I was either too stuck or too deflated to set pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, as it were.

After a few weeks of not blogging and trying to work through things, I was ready to come back and start writing. I figured MayDay seemed like an appropriate time to "BeginAgain", right along with the coming of DeepSpring....and then April 30th another unexpected and huge dramatic shift happened...and honestly, I haven't been myself.

Seriously.
I'm not even quite sure who I am anymore.



So here I am. About to figure out who I am once again (because we all have to figure out who we are, at least a few times each lifetime...right?)....and I'm going to figure this out right here on this old blog o' mine.

I'm not entirely sure if I will be returning to posting daily, or if I will try posting every few days, or well....who knows what yet....because I am in the process of reinventing myself.   But here are some topics I will be trying to tackle over the next few weeks (or months, depending on how this writing thing goes) in no particular order:

* the death of both grandmothers within an 8 month span
* my leaving teaching dance class
* my last performance with the dance ensemble
* what is next on my artistic horizon, if anything
* the death of my dear friend James (my guy at the convalescent hospital)
* the resulting shift in volunteer commitments
* watching myself begin to move through my son's last year at home before college
* reaching a few landmark-y sort of milestones around being disabled
* reaching a few dreaded personal milestones, and a few (not at all dreaded) relationship milestones
* beginning the process of moving between houses
* let's not forget I am becoming a "woman of a certain age"...
* what it's been like to blog daily then not at all
* what all of the above has to do with how I identify myself, and why it should or shouldn't matter 



As you can see (or I  guess I should say: As I can see) what is happening over here is that I am having something sort of like a mid-life crisis.  Except that I don't view it as a crisis. And I think this sort of thing can happen at any point in anyone's life, so it seems silly to mark it as mid-life just because I'm in my late 40's.   Crisis is far too strong a word. I'm just not good enough with words to find something else to call it (except for a "shift", but I've used that word twice already...see above).  So, I'm not sure what to call it.  But it's something I'm moving through, and it's something that has left me feeling a bit... a bit....well, I don't know what  yet. But I am definitely f-f-f-feeeeeeeling....and it's time to push that through and get a move on.

And that's what I intend to do next.
And I'll keep a record of that right here.

Much love.....

spoke too soon

Still some problems with blogger. I posted this Tuesday night via phone before hitting the sack and Wednesday morning I wake up to find it stuck in the system and I have to manually enter it via laptop. It looks like the real solution is going to have to be going back to using a camera and a laptop, but dang....it sure was easier snapping a pic on my phone during the day and being able to add it to a post.

Happy lettuces, in the rain.

testing testing

Please let this work,
please let this work,
please let this work...

(snapped on my phone today while in the "Japanese dollar store" earlier today)

Tap tap. This thing on????

wellllp...

....I still haven't figured it out. But something is awry with posts containing photos, and that is a big fat problem for me.



Stay tuned.

something's amiss!

Hmm!!  It would seem the last two day's posts are hung up in space, somewhere between my phone and my blog!

I have to get MyFavoriteKid out the door this morning to a practice SAT thing-a-majig, but when I get back to my laptop, I'll work out the kinks.

snaps on saturday

Let's see.

Home last night from concert and picking up MyFavoriteKid from his band competition around 11:30pm, asleep by 12 midnight.
Alarm went off at 5:45am and we were back at the high school by 7am for today's competition.

I am wiped.
MyFK is more wiped.

Only 1 more week of Winter Drumline season, with one last competition next Saturday (the Championship Finals).

Fuzzy phone photos from today.
First up:  One school's routine was set to a medley Bugs Bunny tunes.
Complete with Silly Wabbit.

Later on was a "Surf's Up" (aka Wipeout) routine......

...complete with tinfoil shark fin.

Our crews today....first our B-Line

Then the A-Line (MyFk's group)

Sorry for the lousy pics.  I forgot my real camera. Only had my phone.  And these kids move around too much!!

Exhausted. Off to bed. 
Little shindig at TheNewDiggs tomorrow, and I have to get up early to hostess!

f f f friday!

 

SFJAZZ Center, Lincoln Center Orchestra w/Wynton Marsalis.

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. !!

look ma! no needles!

A hook!

THAT would be the results of my first attempts at crochet! Single, double, half-double, and triple....all taught to me today in about an hour by one of the ladies at the Senior Center Knitting Social group I facilitate.

New tricks up my sleeve! Yay!

in less than one week's time

Last Thursday, and now today....many new leaves on the peach tree.
Spring has sprung!!

girl shoe(s)

It has been a very long time since I have bought a pair of shoes (which for me is just A SHOE) that is this girly.

Of course when I took this photo in the light of day, I failed to get the heel in the shot, but it's just a little short one or one and a half inch thing. That, however, is usually too much for me! Just about ANY heel doesn't work for me when I'm using crutches (I usually lurch forward and feel like I am going to fall smack on my face) but somehow, this one works!  I'm tickled, and feel like I can go play dress up now :-)

delete delete

original post deleted by it's authoress

Because sometimes girls get silly about things.
(and because I am a girl)

may i suggest....

I just finished watching this movie about dancer and choreographer Pina Bausch.  Nothing short of riveting and inspirational.  It is clear to me that she has influenced a few choreographers I have worked with before.  It is so much fun to watch movement go to unexpected places. I couldn't take my eyes away from the screen.

If you're into dance, give it a little look-see.  Streamable on Netflix ;-)

snaps on saturday

Backstage at the Rakkasah (belly dance festival), ready to hit the stage!

merde

Flowers from my friend Jan. She came to our dress rehearsal last night (along with a couple other ladies of TheFridayKnittingGroup). Today she brought me good luck flowers, and tomorrow we perform! 

in the garden

YeOldHaus.....peach and cherry blossoms, yard is alive with birds.
 I'd put out a "Beware of Cats" sign for them, but I don't think they'd read it.

I've never done this before, but this might be the year I "bell the cat" and attach something noisy to their collars (at least during the daytime). 
They are gonna be so pissed.

take that.

)

knitting group would have been much more fun

Passed on meeting up with my group of Stitchers tonight so I could attend a College Financial Preparedness seminar at the high school.

Talk about anxiety producing.

Knitting would have been much more fun.

garden inspiration

Wine bottle retaining wall.

Must throw more parties.

so maybe i should stop planning sometimes

Wow, today was productive, and we didn't even plan for it to be.

The only real thing on the books today was recovering from (danged stupid, if you ask me) Daylight Savings Time, and then MyFavoriteKid had a private drum lesson followed by some time with his girlfriend.

TheMostImportantGuy had the whole day free, and believe me, we probably could have spent it just laying around relaxing...but instead we decided on a whim to clean out the garage at TheNewDiggs.  There was one corner of it still holding left over construction materials from last summer's bathroom remodel, including the old toilet and shower door.  There was also a bunch of random things that we'd set aside for the garage sale that we'll probably never have.

We pulled it all out, then we called our regular guy for odd jobs and hauling, and lo and behold, he was free to do it today (I figured we'd call and make a plan for sometime during the week...but same day service! woohoo!).

By the end of the day he had hauled away the junk and agreed to get the stuff that could be re-purposed into a salvage yard.  He also got rid of some debris left behind in the back forty, which now makes the property looking quite spic and span!  Then TheMIG and I hauled some of the smaller usable items over to Goodwill. Before we left I got out the shop vac and cleaned the whole place spic and span.

All done. One afternoon. Pretty great.

And now we get to chip away at the garage at YeOldHouse, which will NOT be a one day task, I am sure. But I am hoping bit by bit we'll have it under raps just as easily.  We're going to have to. Because eventually I'm outta here!

snaps on saturday

All band all the time day.

Feeding the Herd. Warm up rehearsal. Awards ceremony. Pep talk.

rather unpleasant

It might have actually worked if they'd made it taste good.
(but they didn't)

bad hair day

Bad hair day for Mr.Darcy.

This happens a lot! I walk into the room, and there he is, plopped on the floor with his hair all over the place!
I'm not sure what he does when he's sleeping!

next phase

I am going to bore you to death with stories of fabric flowers and hair accessories.
I am sure of it.

yes, i am that crazy lady

I cut out the little fabric circles yesterday, and the next step is to singe the edges. My plan has been to do that while sitting on the patio at TheNewDiggs, but that was not meant to be today.  The MostImportantGuy has come down with the flu and basically slept all day at TheNewDiggs. Since I cannot afford to get sick (anytime really, but especially in March when the kid has performances every weekend and I have the dance festival mid-month) I went to TND only long enough to hand him a couple of quarts of soup out the car window.  Then I headed back to YeOldHaus.

Ye Old Haus doesn't have a covered porch or any coverage from rain whatsoever in the back yard. In the front of the house, there is really only a covered stoop. The front of the house is pretty danged exposed to the street, and this a tight community where everybody waves at each other as they drive by.

But I needed to be outside if I was going to work on the flowers, and I needed to wear the crazy ventilator mask if I was to be safe.  So click that last link to see what my face would look like (what little of it you can see), and then picture me sitting here:

I have gone from being that one legged lady that lives in the blue house to being that nutty one legged lady that sits on her stoop in the rain wearing a ventilator and burning little bits of something, making I dont know what, while blasting NPR podcasts like WaitWaitDon'tTellMe and Fresh Air.

I'm so glad MyFavoriteKid was at school while I was doing this. If he caught me looking like that he'd roll his eyes and I'd get the big "Mommmmmmmmmmmmm!!!" 


 

production line

Let the flower makin' begin :-)

 

first stage fabric flowers for brooches hair clips...woohoo!

Dance rehearsal this morning, followed by an afternoon visit with a couple of friends...then home where I watched the Oscars and snipped away at fabric.

Have to get busy...I just committed to put my goodies in a booth at an Art & Wine Fair! EEK!

 

snaps on saturday

Band-mommed it all day, up and runnin' hard at 6am...home at 11:30pm.

I have never been so happy to be out of my clothes and into a pair of pajamas in my life.


It was raining at the start of the day. the kid practiced/warmed-up in a partially covered walkway with the help of umbrellas to protect the equipment.

 

By the middle of the day, a couple of kids were so tired, they crapped out on top of a rolling cart.  I brought one of them a blanket and a pillow (one was thinking ahead and brought her own stuffed bear). 

And now I am going to bed myself, with my stuffed bunny.

so.

So. My tummy has not been right at all since last week's vomitfest (sorry if you are reading this over your morning coffee and muesli or whatever). 

I haven't been "ill" since then, nor have I even felt nauseous.  I've just felt sort of....hmm...how would you say it? Acid-y? Like I have a sour stomach?  Not exactly heartburn, but just....well, just UGH.  I've been eating, but I can't say I'm really hungry or interested in food, either. 

I sent an email off to my doc, and we'll see what she says.  Much better idea that getting on the internet and giving myself every possible disease and disorder, for sure.  I'm beginning to wonder about that gallbladder possibility, though.

I really do hope it's no big deal. 
I've had enough big deals this week. 
Sheesh, enough big deals IN THIS LIFE, to be honest.
Shouldn't I get a hall pass or something??

roll

It's just about midnight and I am just getting home from teaching dance class. Grammy's funeral was today, and I am eating ice cream with a grapefruit spoon because every other piece of silverware I own is in the dishwasher on the rinse cycle.

Apparently that's how I roll.

In my head I just burst out singing, "The sun will come out...toooooMORow..." but that's not true, because we're about to be hit by a rain storm. What a way to end my shit storm of a week.


I have high hopes for forgetting all of it, at least for a moment, tomorrow morning while hanging with the Friday Knitters. They never disappoint :-)

scant

I've got nothin'...

Nothin' but exhaustion.
And a pile of laundry to fold.

while i let my feelings settle in...

...another pic of me and Grammy, circa 1968

too many tears today

My Grammy passed away last night. I've spent a lot of time watching memories of her scrolling by through my brain today, and in every single one of them, I can hear her laughter. I think that's a good way to be remembered. She will be missed. (me & Grammy, early to mid 70's)

I probably have more to say on the subject, but I am exhausted. Barely slept a wink last night thinking and feeling, and today was nuts (busy busy)....and every time there was a lull there were tears in my eyes. Seriously. Even cried standing in line at the market.

This is just a duplicate of what I was able to thwack up on Facebook earlier.  I need to go now and give myself a break.

fashion statement

A good look for me, no?

Me, burnin' up the fabric flower fabric on the patio.
Avoiding toxic fumes.
Hot pink ventilator mask.
(Not a haiku.)

snaps on saturday

 

As seen from the Announcer's Table. All day drumline event, our school hosting. 11hours of volunteering, 7 hours of which was flappin' my gums through a microphone.

Next several weeks are our kids performing at other people's school. Still loads of booster parent work to be done, but much less gum flappin'. 

not exactly as planned, but not so danged bad

No barfing today! Yay!

Also no trip to Stitches West, and I'm sorry NoBlogRachel for never answering your question about whether I was going or not, but this is how it went:  I really had not planned to go. Well, okay. Back up. I mean, I was "supposed" to go, because for the last few years I have been going every Friday. See, the Friday knitting group goes on Fridays instead of the regular.  People car pool down, and most of the group stays overnight. There's a dinner and a whole lotta cocktails involved.  For me, I haven't had the luxury of staying overnight.  I trek down for the day, and my friend Sandy has always joined me. We go down for the day, meet up with the ladies of Friday knitting throughout the day here and there, and then meet everyone in the lobby for drinks and nibbles. Then Sandy and I drive home while the over-nighters head out to dinner.

So that was the plan this year, too.  Except about a week or so ago, Sandy and I checked in with each other, and neither one of us was real jazzed about a) making the pilgrimage, and b) spending more money on materials we do not have time to consume (it does seem rather silly at times, all this "stash" business).

Well, on Tuesday night, Kimberly of Craftini and Brooke of Sincere Sheep both gave a pep talk (one by text, one in person) and Sandy and I decided, wtf...we will go.

And then yesterday happened. And then today....well....today I wasn't too bad. No more hurling, but even a cup of tea, some mild soup and little bit of rice, and I thought I had achieved greatness, and still my tummy was hurting like someone had kicked me in the gut. 

Sandy and I did meet up together. We had that cup of tea together at Starbucks, and we popped into the fabric store next door together, ate that soup and rice together, and then went to Michael's together. So in a way, we still shopped for more crafty shit. LOL 

It was a beautiful day out today here. Just lovely. Nice to spend it with a friend, even for a couple of hours, and even though it wasn't the big day we thought we would have. 

Oh well.  Next year??

blech

 

Those are the 3 little magic pills I just went down to the pharmacy to pick up. Supposedly they will help me stop tossin' my cookies, because that is what I have been doing all damn day.  I haven't even been able to keep down water for crying out loud!

At first I thought it was a reaction to taking a pain pill last night. I hardly ever take them, but last night I had that crazy leg spasm syndrome. But I also woke up with a pretty bad headache, so I thought maybe the vomiting was migraine related.  Then it seemed more like I ate something bad.  I finally called Kaiser, they actually pointed out it might be due to the fact that I have gallstones but never had my gallbladder removed.

Hmm.

Possibly.

I'm not buying that, because I don't other gallbladder-ish symptoms, but I wouldn't rule it out.

Well, they have me on this medication until tomorrow (note that it may cause a headache. lovely.), and if I'm still praying to the porcelain goddess by noon tomorrow I am supposed to call them back and head in for little scan.  

Joy. 

is it? nah...

Is it a little crazy that I am sewing myself a sewing kit?

I'm following the instructions for this project from the book Sewn By Hand. I still need to add the thread and thimble holder, and then embellish the cover...so much fun :-)

tipsy

Sorry excuse, but I'm too tipsy to type!

Tuesday night, local knitting night.  Had two beers to wash down my blow-yer-head-off pastor taco.  Afterwards, I stopped by another member's house to pick up a book I had loaned, and her hubby invited me in to have a glass of their wine (they blend their own wine!!)....and now I'm am...well... tipsy~! (borderline tanked, really...what a lightweight!)

Got a few rows in on my knitting, at least.
Sheesh.

5:45am wake-up call with the kiddo for band practice, so off I go....

enthusiast

I have actually been described by a few people as not being into sports. I think they say this because I really really (did I say really??) do not like football.  Of course, if you invited me over for a football game and a beer I'd bring the nibbles...and I'd watch the game (well, sorta...I'd be knitting while you watch it) and I'd pick a team to root for and stay engaged and all that). 

I just don't seek out football, and I really think it's one least interesting sports out there.Wrestling (WWE) and boxing are close behind.  I really just don't care to watch big dudes (or dudettes in some cases) shove each other around.
Not. Interesting.
(to me)

Anyhow, why my dislike of football makes me "not into sports" by some of friends, I will never know. I am into a ton of sports!!

I watch baseball all season long.  I have been glued (and I do mean glued) to the TV watching the Olympics every moment I can, and I love all of it, curling to all the ski events to the skating...all of it.  I looooove watching the Tour de France every year. And....here's one for ya'....I watch a good amount of Bull Riding (but I root for the bull).



So. To my friends who have decided that football is the only sport that makes you a sports fan??? Bah!!!

beautiful day

View of the Golden Gate Bridge from Point Isabel (which I've referred to here before as The Crazy-Crazy Dog Park).  Lovely lovely day, after a night with some rain.

snaps on saturday

Dear AngelOfStrayDogs--

Thank you for making sure the owner of this sweetheart of a dog appeared. Thank you for the man who pointed us to the very soggy Lost Dog sign on the street post.

I can't really handle this family growing any bigger, but there is no way I could have kicked this sweetiepie out of my car after she jumped in it all by herself and licked my face. 

So glad we got it sorted out. 

Always Your Servant--

The Biggest Sucker Ever

dogs say....

....Happy Valentine's Day!

pass the urban dictionary

When you take a fall, and land on your wrist, and it blows up in such a manner that it looks like what your legs look like when you have "cankles"...what do you call it??

Wrinkles?


AND, if cankles are "improved in appearance only by boots," (thank you, Urban Dictionary, for your fashion advice rather than medical advice)....what do I wear then to cover my wristle?? Certainly I have knit something to cover this up, no??

the peanut gallery

I was at the cutting table in the center of medium sized fabric store (Hancock) yesterday, when across a walky-talky came, "Anne? Can you get me a screwdriver??"

Anne, who turned out to be my cutting lady, started asking the cutter next to her, "What?? Did she say screwdriver?? What does she need a screwdriver for??"  She tried to reply on the walky-talky but she couldn't figure out how to work it, so she yelled from the center of the store, all the way up to the register, "A SCREWDRIVER???"

The lady at the front yells back, "YES! CAN YOU PLEASE GET ME A SCREWDRIVER!! I NEED A SCREWDRIVER!!"

So I yell, "AND CAN YOU GET ME A VODKA MARTINI???? I NEED A VODKA MARTINI!!" (sorry, I couldn't resist)

And then from somewhere in the back corner of the store in the home decor section comes, "AND A MARGARITA??? ON THE ROCKS??"



Then you heard just about everyone in the store cracking up (except maybe the lady at the register), giggles floating up above bolts of fabric.

i've lost an idol and an inspiration

I knew I'd never ever be as nice, or sweet, or cute, or funny as she was (I didn't even bother trying)....
but I always wanted to dance like her (and that, I did try).

(my early attempts at tap)

And I grew up on her movies.
 

I think I'd  have to watch it again to figure out the how's and why's, but my favorite of all her movies, Heidi, probably contributed to my love and care of elders and others.  And a desire to live in the Alps or at least somewhere where there were a lot of sheep and cow bells.

Another movie I liked, The Blue Bird (of Happiness), as bizarre at is was, made a huge impression on me as well (what the hell...we're all chasin' after the wrong thing!! And and!! People are just like evil kittens!! And I sort of like evil kittens!! What is wrong with me?!?!!). 

As I got a little older (10-ish, 11-ish maybe?) I learned about my favorite child star's second career as an ambassador, and I remember being ridiculously impressed. How one person could pull off doing such great things in two entirely different fields of work left me positive that you could just change your mind at any time in life about what path you wanted to walk down. Want to do something different?? Well, just do it!  I swear it somehow contributed to my "it's okay...I'll just switch gears and do something different" mentality....you know, like, post-accident.

Sad to hear of her passing.  But that sure seems like one good, full life, doesn't it?

Goodbye, Shirley Temple.