buddhist haha

I'm so tired, I can barely stand myself. I did have a really good day today, though.

I had a nice online chat with TheBon this morning while I had my coffee.

I got to do the mid-day practice at the zen center (as if a whole weekend of floor-staring was not enough).

Then I saw TheScarDoctor, as I call him...the physical therapist that works on releasing the fascia around the many scars I have...I hadn't been able to see him since the end of May. It's not a comfy thing getting those worked on, but man do I feel better in the long run after seeing him.

I got several (not all, but I'll take several) things crossed off of my To-Do list.

Then I got a really awesome and unexpected care package in the mail, and I have to show you pics, but by the time I got it, the light was bad. Tomorrow!



So that's about all I can manage here tonight for now. It's about 10pm and I am going to force myself to ignore the rest of the housework and go to sleep instead.

I will leave you with a little buddhist humor:

A buddhist walks up to a hot-dog vendor and says,
“make me one with everything.”

Ha.
Ha.
Ha.

five.

This post should be so much more than it is (but it isn't), and besides, IcanDoWhatIwantAnyhow 'cuz....



...it's my 5th Blogiversary!! :-)


Stay tuned. BIG CONTEST FUN and giveaway will be taking place here sometime this week. Aiming for Wednesday (famous last words). Friday, at the latest.



Thank you all so much for taking the time to stop by my little crazy corner of the internet.
It has truly been a gift.

snaps on saturday

doorway to dharma room
hallway lined with our dining bowls/linens/utensils

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Sent with love from my iPad

(not exactly) silent

Retreats at the zen center are always practiced in silence.

This time the opening instruction given was to not only keep quiet, but to use less words inside of our heads, too.

Kind of like when you walk down a hallway and hear a conversation in another room, and you stop or slow down and strain to hear a few words...? Well, when that happens inside your head, keep going. The instruction is: Don't Listen.

So this is all ya' get today outta me word-wise today (already too much!) and then a Snapshot On Saturday tomorrow. Sunday evening I shall return. Full of words,I am sure.

PS...Margaret in Ontario, I adore you. Thank you thank you. More on that soon ;-)

-----
Sent with love from my iPad

it's really a question

This is going to seem like whining. And I'm sure that if it looks like whining, and it sounds like whining...than it probably IS whining....but I swear...it's really a question.

Let's start here:
I would not describe myself as the type of person who gives with the expectation of receiving. I am not the tit-for-tat type, I am not a score-keeper, and I do not believe that just because I do something for you, that you should do something for me.

Sort of.

It would appear however, that what I AM is the type of person who holds onto the belief that, "what goes around comes around." I do not believe the coming and going needs to come from the same place, at the same rate, or at the same time. Apparently at some point in my life, I developed this belief system that what you put out, comes back.

I do not believe I am the only one with this belief system.
I do not even believe I am the only one who is *attached* to this belief system.

The problem at this point, is that my attachment to this belief system is becoming a huge issue, because it's just that: a belief system. It is not a REAL system, it is not a scientifically proven system, and even if it WERE a system, it is most definitely not the system my life has be running on for ages now. For a good long while now, almost every area of my life has been plagued with my putting out tons and tons of effort and care and loving-kindness, and it just sorta going out there into outer space. Nothing bounces back. Not even an echo.

I'm not sure if y'all can relate.

It's happening in every area of my life, and in almost every relationship (even right now to the pets). It's a trip. I give, I give, I give....I get bupkiss. (I do get some things...but I almost always have to ask or push for it, it aint just flowin').

So there is something wrong with the dynamic. Or with me. Or with my beliefs. Or (more than likely) with my attachment to my beliefs.

So, it's a question. It might be a question without a question mark, but it's still a question just the same.

I'm now heading off for a 3-day practice session at the zen center, so I'm sure while I am staring at the floor, my mind will have plenty of time to go 'round in circles about it.
Yay.

-----
Sent (with love) from my iPad

another reason why i am such a huge fan of pbs

Tonight TheMostImportantGuy and I watched Global View's: Carmen Meets Borat. I recorded it earlier in the week...but you might want to take a look and see if it will be airing again in your neck of the woods anytime soon, because it was great* (and imho, the clip on the pbs website does not give you the flavor at all).

"A spirited 17-year-old named Carmen dreams of escaping her poor Romanian village. Then a Hollywood film crew arrives in town to shoot scenes for Sacha Baron Cohen’s Borat. After the unwitting townspeople are portrayed as primitive Kazakhs in the film, an outraged group of villagers — among them Carmen’s father — set out on a global odyssey in search of the offender."

Really touching. Beautifully filmed. A peek into another world, and a perspective I did not expect to see. It also (very sadly) is requiring me to rethink my moviegeek-crush on Sacha Baron Cohen. I wonder what he thought of this documentary!


* and the fiber-ista part of me really got a kick out of looking at all the handknits sprinkled throughout ;-)

the new tuesday

Tuesdays are now hellish, from now until May. Have I told you?? I don't even know if I have blogged about this!

MyFavoriteKid auditioned for the Napa Valley Youth Symphony a couple of weeks ago. He was accepted into their entry level Wind Sinfonia. Rehearsals are two hours long, about 30 minutes north of us, right after school, and on the day that I also cover two convalescent hospitals which are about 45 minutes south of us.

From here on out, I am basically off and running solid from the 6am wake-up alarm, until MyFK's bedtime. Bananas.

Anyhow, I've been kind of stressing about what the long day away from home is going to look like, and I was so worried about it, I even signed Riley (TheDogDogDog) up at this little doggie-daycare place on Tuesdays so that he is not home alone moping all day.

But this morning?? On my first go at this?
I got me, my sassy-pants haircut, and my new lipppy-gloss out into the car, popped on the radio and Guns-N-Roses was blaring, and I dunno what happened! Suddenly I was quite happy, and for some very odd reason, it just all felt manageable.

I must be experiencing a throwback to my youth or something. Like when I was twenty-something and I could work a full day, rock an entire To-Do list, AND still go out clubbing all night (ok well, maybe I'm not experiencing that much of a throwback), and get up the next day and do it all over.

dont wanna dont wanna dont wanna

Ya' know, I am blogging 365 days this year, and y'all are just gonna need to consider this yer post for the day, because I am stomping around and digging my heels into the ground. I did it all the way across the room as I dragged myself over to the keyboard.

Excuse me while I throw a little bloggy temper tantrum over here.



The grown-up me can tell you that I'm just feeling downright overwhelmed. I AM getting a lot done, though....and that is a very good thing....but I'm feeling like I am running non-stop from the moment I get out of bed until the moment I climb back in it.

I have GOT to find a few minutes for ME.
AND QUICK!

punchy

I know I am not the only person out here wondering why time is flying by so quickly, why there is never a bottom to the pile of laundry, why the To-Do list is never completely crossed off, and how it happens that when one finally does find a crack in their schedule for themselves that something seems to come up and take it away.....

So why bother complaining about when I am preaching to the choir, right?? You all already know how it goes. Don't you?


Calgon. Take me away.

snaps on saturday

TheMostImportantGuy's niece gets a 15th birthday gift from him, myself, and MyFavoriteKid:



A trip to the M.A.C Cosmetics counter for a make-up fest and a little shopping. She dances, and she needed some decent stage makeup.

Picked up some new lipstick and eye shadows for myself, too...to go with my new "do".

and i say: go...go...go...!!

You say goodbye....







and I say hello.....






I'm not quite sure how this happened.
And I'm not quite sure what to make of it yet, either LOL.
The last time I had bangs and used these type of hair products was about 20 years ago.

What is clear is that tomorrow I am shopping for eyeliner and darker lipstick. The cut and color almost necessitate it.


It got rave reviews at the salon.

When I sent these photos online to TheMostImportantGuy, his eyes bugged out of his head a little bit (he had his webcam on for me to see his response), but then he smiled. He said I looked like Joan Jett ;-)

When MyFavoriteKid got in the car after school, he didn't even look at me for two full minutes (typical), but when he did, he flipped out. At first he said he liked the cut, but he wasn't sure that he liked it on me....and then later he said I looked cool enough to hang out with his friends (Not quite sure what to make of that one. I can only hope I am still cool enough to hang out with my own friends... hahahaha.) I am actually worried that the next time I go into the convalescent hospital some of the people there will not recognize me. That has happened just from wearing my hair up or down sometimes.

And if you hear a loud thud in the distance, that is the sound of my mother passing out and hitting the floor .

whoa

Just got home from dance class, and had a whole mindset for a post for tonight....but when I popped on the TV to catch the news, I saw this:


That's TheEx's mom's neighborhood! And it's ON FIRE!
Fifty-six homes destroyed so far, hundreds damaged, death and injury....due to a gas explosion.

The ExMIL lives at the bottom of the hill, and is therefore fine, but totally within sight of it all. The apartment she lived in before she moved into her current house is up on that hill, though. I'm sure she has friends up there.

Last week it was my neighborhood! (although not nearly so bad)
Crazytime!

since i'm on a roll with the video clips...

I have no idea at all what they are saying, and although I would like to know, I don't need to know to enjoy this.
I loooove this video.



Makes me:
a) wish I had crafty grammies living nearby
b) wonder if they are praying to the GodOfWarmSweaters
c) want to invite y'all over for an evening of making things together :-)

heh.

(edited to add: Oooops, I should warn you that this clip has some innappropriate language!)

testing, tinkering, knitting, cafe hopping, and writing really bad kid's stories

It's taking quite a bit of futzing around to figure out how to make a post in blogger from the iPad. They aren't the best of friends, and I'm the grand dork of all time when it comes to anything that has buttons or knobs. I had figured out how to email a post to my blogger account, and then I'd figured out how to get in a photo in there, too.

Tonight (with any luck) when I press "publish post" there will be multiple photos AND it will have text in between them, and I might even go overboard and try to add in a link....and then I'll be getting closer to this working just like it does from my laptop. Yay!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Boy and girl get up at 5am.
Boy and girl go to zen center for early morning practice.
See girl (try to) run! Run girl, run!

After practice, Boy and girl hunt down Blue Bottle Coffee in Emeryville.

Boy and girl drink beverages and eat booze laden coffee cakes.
"Yum!" they say, "YUM!"

Girl knits mystery socks.

-

Knit girl, knit!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alrighty. Hope this works. LOL

trouble...stay away from me

TheMostImportantGuy's dad seems to doing just fine. After the surgery, both his blood pressure and his blood sugar spiked...crazy and all over the place. Today everything has been stable.

TheMIG and I have been taking it easy, and taking good care of each other. All is as well as it could be.


Here's a tune that has been on repeat on my in-brain personal sountrack:

snaps on saturday

At the dog park, Riley watches over my crutches 'cuz for the first time ever, a dog kept trying to pee on them!


Update on TheMig's dad tomorrow.




sent with LOVE from my iPad ;-)

mo-jo-fo-no-go

The recent chain of events in relation to TheMostImportantGuy's Dad:

* Yesterday it was determined that his blood sugar was stable enough and that the surgeon could squeech him in today for surgery around 2pm.

* They have him start fasting at midnight in preparation, and because he's not eating, they stop giving him insulin.

* As a result of not giving him insulin, his blood sugar goes spikes, but they are confident they can get it down. While they work on getting the blood sugar back down, they also decide he needs a transfusion because he is testing anemic. They say that by the time the time they complete the transfusion and the surgeon is free again, it will be after 5pm.

* Meanwhile, TheMIG stays at work to get as much stuff done as he can before going up (remember, he took Tuesday off when the surgery was supposed to happen in the first place). TheMIG's mom also runs home to take care of a couple of things because she's already been at the hospital all day, and clearly she is going to have a long night there if the surgery doesn't even start until after 5.

* Being that TheMIG works a couple of hours south of his parents, and there is a Friday commute to contend with, he leaves to get there by 5pm-ish. He figures he will call the hospital on the road for an update, and to make sure they got his dad stable enough and is in fact, going in at 5pm for the surgery.

* Closer to 5pm TheMIG calls the hospital from the car to ask if the surgery is still scheduled for sometime tonight, and they say

(hold yer hat kids)....

....that his father is in the RECOVERY ROOM.


(I'm still recovering from whiplash).

Like WTF!!!!!!!!! They just put him into surgery around 2:30 or so, without even notifying the family!!!!! The family wasn't even going to be able to make it there in time to check in with dad in the recovery area!!! I could scream. (I think TheMIG's mother might have done that for me....and she never yells. She's kinda like "Miss Nancy" I think she was even a kindergarten teacher for a time, actually LOL).
And WTF about that transfusion supposedly taking several hours, not to be completed until 5pm anyhow?!?!

I DONT GET IT!!!!
I am SOooooo conferfer-fooooozed!!!


I have been getting texts from TheMIG who is now at the hospital. I guess it's now a done deal, and dad's doing okay. Just a bit woozy from the meds, and his blood pressure is up a wee bit. The family is there.

But sheesh.

my yesterday afternoon

Sorry, but this is a seriously photo heavy post.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There is nothing so surreal as looking out your front window and seeing this:


MyFavoritedKid didn't want to go with me, but I just had to check it out more closely.


Well, that was cool.
But I needed to get closer.


Aaaaaand a little closer still.


My absolute favorite part of being so close was the helicopters. They were swooping right over my head.


It was a grass fire, and this went on for about 3 hours or so. Once it was down to being smoldering-with-hotspots mode, I got even a little bit closer. Close enough to see the firemen working the perimeter.


I wish I could have captured good photos of the guys in orange suits running between the trees while the helicopters were dumping the buckets of water. I'd have liked to have gotten even closer for those shots, but I was on crutches though LOL. I'm brave, but not stupid ;-) Here the fire crew is working on the outskirts, though.



Last shot, from later in the day. The guys in yellow are still putting out hotspots, and the guys in orange below them are working like a little machine digging a fire line.



Well, so that was my excitement yesterday.
Yours?

slo-mo-jo!

Thanks for the vibes and comments yesterday :-)
TheMIG himself made a rare appearance in the comments, and I'm just going to cut-n-paste it here, because it will save me from having to update you myself:

Thanks for the nice words, everybody. Gretchen's comment about my lucky star made me tear up a bit (only a bit!) cuz it is so true. (Side note: I accidentally typed "licky star" above, and ... well, its weird to be tearing up AND laughing at the same time).

It seems the good vibes worked a little TOO well: Dad's surgery got postponed several days due to his blood sugar being too high in pre-op (which we TOLD them would happen unless they admitted him a day early to control it themselves, due to the pre-surgery fasting not being monitored well at his Nursing Home... but that's a rant for another blog). So thank you for all the warm fuzzies but maybe tone 'em down just a bit so that the surgery actually HAPPENS and he just recovers well. THANKS!


Heeheee! I am a LickyStar!! :-)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since the updating is now out of the way, I thought I'd address a few comments/questions that have been left in the last couple of weeks.

Margaret in Ontario asks: "You mean a truly quiet fridge really DOES exist? ....Please, what brand, what model?"

By the way, here's a before shot of the old beast:

And now, the new one (*que angels singing*):

oooooo! shiny!!!
special note to Gayle of All Things Home:
you'll be happy to note that the front of the fridge is NOT MAGNETIC so ya' can't stick shit to it (Gayle's a professional organizer, and she can't stand how cluttered that looks)

It's a Kenmore 7930 (here's a link, except I got the stainless version), and it IS quiet!! It does make a slight hum when cooling, but it's barely noticeable, and only for a moment. My last fridge used to buzz loudly for an hour (gah--can you imagine the energy I was wasting?!). I was restricted to choosing a smaller unit because of limitations in my kitchen due to cabinetry, so what TheMIG did was a search for my size refrigerator, and then he checked out tons of reviews (Consumer Reports was one of them, if I recall), and he chose refrigerator that ranked most quiet out of the top group.

I am soooo happy with it! It's supposed to be 95-degrees here today, and I now, at my fingertips, I have cold filtered water...with ice!

*ahhhhhh*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The very observant Helen (the Knotty Artisan) commented on this post:
Is TheMIG wearing a wedding ring? Hmmm? Something you wanna tell us? :-D

Heh.

man, our hands look kinda....OLD!!

must. apply. hand lotion!

Well, we sometimes refer to our rings as "place holders", and I'm not sure if I have ever blogged about this before...so here we go!

The ring TheMIG's wears is something that I had bought for myself right after the accident. It is sterling, and on it is stamped, "Protect This Woman." I realize this comes from wedding vows, but that is not at all what caused me to purchase this ring for myself so that I could wear it.

At that time in my life I was feeling very vulnerable to life and it's little whimsies, and I felt I needed some sort of talisman to protect me. Once I put that ring on, I never took it off. About 9 months after the accident though, I had to undergo a second surgery, and in pre-op they make you remove all of your jewelry. There was something really icky feeling about just leaving it a ziplock with the rest of my personal items. I asked TheMIG to wear it for me, and it was so charming on him, it just sort of stayed there. It doesn't fit on his right hand (it's too loose and slides off), only his left had....which I embarrassingly and territorially have to admit I adore LOL.

As he continued to wear the ring, I realized that when we'd be out, and I'd introduce him as my Boyfriend, and people would look at his ringed finger, and then my ring-less finger, and that it looked like I was dating a married man....so rather than take the ring back from him, I went out and bought something for myself to wear. I've written about my ring here and here (when I lost it recently), and it's just an inexpensive sterling ring from Kohl's LOL. It's two bands intertwined though, and it just sort of looks like it fits with his in some way.

So essentially, this whole "ring-thing" was a set-up by ME---hahahaha---and I did all the purchasing. TheMIG has definitely gifted me some very special jewelry to wear over the years, like this pendant...and also a special somethin' somethin' that I always keep on my person in a locket.

Here's a couple funny stories about the ring he wears and his family.

In the very early days of his wearing it, he would actually take it off whenever he'd go up to visit his parents or family. He just didn't even want to get into with them, and I totally get that. We'd been together just under a year at that point (and most of our first year together was with me in accident recovery mode), and I'm actually not even sure if I'd met them yet. Anyhow, one day he was with them and they were all out at a restaurant for breakfast, and his niece (about 8 or 9 at the time), saw the ring and was like, "What is that! What is that!!" And TheMIG said it was from Lord Of The Rings.


Bwahahahahaha!!
(One Ring to rule them all, and he has it! hahahahahaha)
He wouldn't let anyone get a close look at the ring or read it. He took it off, and shoved it in his pocket. Hilarious.

Then, about a year ago (when at that point we'd both been wearing our rings and not taking them off in front of his family), we were up at TheMIG's sister's house for a 4th of July party, and his teenage nephew had some friends over. He introduced me to them as his Aunt, which I just found freakin' hilarious because a) I'd never been called Aunt before, and...b) TheMIG and I, even though we are coming up on 7 years together now, we are not married. When I commented to Nephew's Dad about how funny it was to be called Aunt, he sort of snottily remarked, "Well, why not. The two of you wear THOSE RINGS. (*grumbling*) Like you are married or something."
He's a devout family-values kind of guy, and I could tell he was insulted in some way by his tone....and overhearing this, TheMIG's sister intervened and said, "Dave! They are place holders!!"

*phew*
Saved by the SIL. Because I had no idea how to respond to that, and it is not often that I am at a loss for words.

And "place holders"?
It sort of stuck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In going back a few posts to answer comments, I see that I never really followed up with a post about how the dance show went.
Odd, that.
Because I actually wrote that post in my head.
I'll try to get right on that...but this post already feels way too long.

Have a good day, peeps! xoxo