seventh blogiversary

SEVEN YEARS ...whoa! Time flies when you're writing a bunch of nonsense, doesn't it?!!
hahahahahaha

I've had some ups and downs this past year with the blog, and I even took the month of August "off" to be a little "less post-y" and think about what keeping this blog really means to me.  I'm am embarrassed to say that I never quite figured that out.  Somewhere in there during the month of August, the attack on my dog took place, and it sort of short circuited my mental process. I just sort of creeped back in here for September without saying a word, in case you didn't notice. LOL

During the August hiatus, I at least figured out these two things, though (and I wouldn't say I figured them out, as I sorta knew these two things already...but I did at least confirm these two things):

1) I love the practice of blog posting every day, I do it for myself, and it is an important practice that I am not about to stop any time soon.

2) I am so happy that y'all are along for the ride....whatever this ride thing IS that I am doing here.  I don't say thanks often enough, but really truly, I so much appreciate the fact that you are here.  I feel like I am never alone (and for me, that is a very big deal).


SO!
How about we celebrate with a little blogiversary raffle, eh?

Leave a comment on this post by the end of the month, or if that doesn't work for you because the comment system here is wacko or because you prefer to be a lurker, then email me instead at AmpuTeeHee{at}hotmail{dot}com.  I will throw all the names into a hat, and I'll announce a winner October 1st.  Then I' will mail you these little prezzies....

When you get them you can buy yourself some new music (ten bucks) and than you can take yourself and a friend out for a cup of something-something and a snack on me (twenty-five bucks).

Deal?
Deal!!!

Thanks again to all of you for visiting my little corner of the internet :-)

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Wow, I still can't get over the fact it's been seven years, though!  I sort of have this theory about how things go in seven year cycles, so what does that mean for the blog?!!!!   I have no plans, but maybe nature will take its own course!
 
 

something different for august

For awhile now, I have been getting comments that have left me scratching my head (and there have been several of them...so worry not, my friend... it ain't just you).  I keep wondering what people are reading or not reading into my posts, and the bottom line is, I just frequently find myself feeling extremely misunderstood. 

This can only be because I am not writing well. 

It seems like I have lost the ability to communicate my thoughts and feelings clearly. Perhaps it might be the mechanics about the way I blog that is preventing me from communicating clearly. I dunno.  But I need to look at that for a bit and see if I can figure it out, because I am finding myself sad and frustrated.  Behind the scenes here during most of July, there have been several times where I have considered that I just stop blogging altogether (or that I do the blogger version of hiding on a deserted bloggy island by starting another secret blog elsewhere).

It's hard to imagine quitting the blog. This blog, because I really do write it for me, is not only my online journal....it is my daily practice. It is in fact the only thing that I consistently do every single day, without taking a day off. I am not willing to give my daily habit up entirely, because I believe it is a good practice for me, so....


After much mulling over, I have decided that I am taking August to not write (here...I will be keeping a paper journal, like the good ol' days!), and to do some thinking. But to keep the practice of daily blogging going for myself, I am going do two things for the month:

* post daily photos
* perhaps reply to some of the (easier) comments that are long overdue for responses

I just won't be doing any actual writing until I do some thinking and reassessing.

So here I am with my photos from today ;-)

inspiration and happy things at Van Winden's garden center today

Have a good August :-)
xxoo

so here's the problem.

I have nothing to say.

I have nothing to say because I actually have too much to say, which seems to be happening a lot lately actually....and it's stuff I really want to write about. Just not late in the day and once a day every day, which is how I've been blogging. For years.

I'm going to finish out the year. I committed to Blog365, and I'm going to finish. For sure.

But I'm trying to figure out what to do about next year.

It's feels like 2012 needs to be a year of longer, more thought out, more important, writing. Essays, if you will. And in 2012 I'd also like to blog less so that I can blog read more.


Those are my thoughts right now.
But January 1st is still a few weeks away.

year long projects anyone? (not resolutions!)

I'm not a fan of making New Year's Resolutions....buuuuut there are a few things I would like to accomplish this year that need to start in early January in order to feel like they "count", and now they seem to carry the "ResolutionVibe". I am fast relabeling them "Year Long Projects".

The resolution coaster. About all a resolution is good for, in my world LOL

My first Year Long Project is blogging. It's decided. I'm blogging again for another 365 Days. (So cheer. Or run.) With two years already under my belt, it's ingrained behavior for me to post every day, so that's no biggey---but the real goal for me is to play with the way I write. I would like to organize the way I put content together so that the blog is more fun for me to keep up, and hopefully for you, too (should you decide to come along for the ride). I am making it a priority to set aside more time for writing each day, because it is actually something I enjoy doing. But the real "Project" part of this is for me to write more about the people I meet while volunteering in convalescent hospitals. I have always felt that I lack the skills to do character writing any justice, but this is my year to be brave and just take a crack at it. I plan to do some research and homework and learn some writing techniques that might help me capture personalities and moments with people better.

Here's my second "Year Long Project". A few weeks ago, my buddy MissyB asked me if I wanted to join her in a little goal setting to do more spinning this year, and I agreed. Her idea is that we do something similar to the YarnHarlot's "Self-Imposed Sock Club".....so at the beginning of the year, we begin by bagging up 12 spinning projects, one for each month, and each month pull out a bag and DO IT. I'm aiming to spin an average of about 4oz a month. This might be chump change for some of you, but for me, it feels like something I can reasonably pull off and still have time to knit and play with the new loom. It's certainly more that I am currently spinning.

Last night I set my 12 months of fiber aside in a box. I haven't determined any particular order (I think each month I will just grab the color that is most inspiring...although when you see the photo below, you will see that I have a lot of the same colors, so I might run out of options pretty quickly LOL). I am completely reserving the right to take something out of the box and throw in a substitution, and I am also reserving the right to adjust my goal of how many ounces I can spin in a month (up or down) once we have a few months under our belts. In other words, I don't want to get all cuckoo regimented about this, I'm just using this as inspiration to spin more regularly.

Edited to add: Brooke commented that her inspiration/invitation was actually inspired by Janel, over on her blog. Check it out! You can go there, join in the fun, and there are prizes!

Below is a list of what's in the box, and it is for me so that I have something to refer back to. The details, for most of you, will be boring. Sorry about that. I just felt like it might be handy for me to blog about this so I can refer back to it over 2011 ;-)

It's a craptastic photo, and it does not at all show the more subtle color variations, but we don't seem to get sun here anymore in "Sunny California", so I'm not sure what to do about that. Even if the subtle variations did show up, you'd still be seeing lots of pinks, plums, purples, turquoises, and then several deep-dark-muddy-ish braids that have colors blended together with blacks and browns (ohh, how I love them so). Clearly I my have preferences. They are all colors I love to wear, though...and apparently I shop in a way that has me being quite the selfish spinner. No real surprise there though, because I'm quite the selfish knitter, too.


Alrighty, here we go! Accountability! My 12 little bundles of joy:

left column, back to front:

1) 4oz Organic Merino in "GaGa!", Funky Carolina, Oct 2010 Fiber Club
2) Un-labelled fiber, but I think it is 4oz Falkland in "Chamber", Funky Carolina, regular purchase in Sep 2010.
3) 4oz BFL in "Painful", Funky Carolina via the TheSweetSheep
4) second braid, same as above
5) 4oz SW BFL in "Ooh-La-La-Tropical", Spunky Eclectic, Feb 2010 Club

down the center:

6) 6oz BFL/Tussah 75/25 in "Princess Plumy", Blue Moon Fiber Arts, purchased 7/2010 at Knot Hysteria Retreat

right column, back to front:

7) 4oz SW Merino/Cashmere/Silk 75/15/10 in "Waits" (ie Tom Waits), Funky Carolina, Sep 2010 Fiber Club
8) second braid, same as above (I loved it so much I asked for second braid).
9) 4oz SW Merino/Cashmere/Silk 70/20/10 in "Dragonskin", Funky Carolina, regular purchase in Nov 2010
10) 4oz 21.5 micron Merino Wool Roving (although I bet it's top--I need to open the braid) in "Vampire Holiday", Black Trillium Fibre Studio, purchased 11/2009
11) 4 oz Baby Camel/Tussah 50/50 in "Corvid", Blue Moon Fiber Arts, purchased 7/2010 at Knot Hysteria Retreat
12) 3oz BFL/Silk 80/20 in "Electric Jam", Spunky Eclectic, August 2010 Club

I'm starting with this one:










Last but not least, this year I'd like to improve my photo taking skills. I do not believe you will see me jumping on any Photo-A-Day bandwagons this year (although it's very tempting), but I would like to at least try keeping the camera handy every day. I would also like to try to learn how to use more of the features on my camera, and I would like to try to learn how to use photoshop (did you know that every single photo you ever see on my blog that is taken by me is shown exactly as it was taken??? ha!).

So here's my first feeble little attempt today. I cropped my very first photo! Woot!!


That's a closeup of Charlie the blind chihuahua. Charlie came for a visit today and brought along his friend, "TeenyTiny".


TeenyTiny is not her permanent name because she was just rescued about a month or so ago by TheMostImportantGuy's bandmates. They are trying to help get TeenyTiny into her new "forever home" and keep her out of the dog pound.

Guess who they came to first.
I must have sucker written all over my face.
Gah.
She went home.

I'm sleeping on it.

too much in, not enough out

Very unintentionally, I feel like I am subjecting the blog here to a test:
how long can I keep up daily blogging without really saying anything of substance?

I'm not too worried about it. Blogging daily for a year at a time, in my opinion, leaves opportunities for lots of ebb and flow. But I don't intend to be doing what I am doing with the lack of solid content, that's for sure...which then causes me to wonder why it is happening.

One of the reasons is that I am just flat out busy. Finding time for myself to do anything seems to be quite the challenge lately. Another reason is that some of the things I probably should be writing about are things that I can't quite figure out how to get onto "the page." I lack the skills.

I have been thinking much about this lately, especially as this year begins to draw to a close and I need to decide what that means for me and the blog next year.

But the other thing that is happening is that I believe I am processing lots of information coming in, and it's somehow bottle necking the flow of energy out. For example, this weekend, I am listening to an audiobook by Mark Twain, I am watching a long documentary about Thomas Jefferson, and I am reading Ernest Hemmingway. And I am thinking about all of it. Lots.

I am not writing much, dancing much, and I my knitting is garter stitch (for the non-knitter, garter stitch is as basic as it gets), and it might just be that this is because there is so much coming in, I can't get other things out. Is this making any sense? Or I am just cuckoo.

Now that I've identified that this is a possible part of my writer's block, let's see what happens.

-----
Posted (with love) from my iPad

....one thousand !

1000 posts! I can hardly believe it.

Thanks to all (four or five?) of you that still come here for a visit. I know that blogging is soooo "yesterday" and that I am a dinosaur, but I will never be succinct enough to tweet (I'd use up all my characters just on parentheses and elipses alone...hahaha), and Facebook just makes me want to punch myself.
So here I am.
Still blogging.
And I have a little contest for you!


First, let me say, there will be two contests this year. The 5th Blogiversary will be in September, and that contest will be a fun one. There will be a twist to entering, and there will be several neat-o prizes that I am having a total blast assembling already. Keep an eye out for that one.

Let me also say that I have not celebrated any sort of milestone of the blog here since the 1st Blogiversary, and that is because it was a BigFatFAIL on my part.

I started this blog originally as a place for me to track the hilarious things that happen when you are amputee. The blog quickly became the mish-mash of things that make up my life, and the readers of this blog also became a bit of a mish-mash, coming to read for all sorts of reasons. When I did the contest, I said the winner would get a prize that was tailored to them. If they were coming for the gimp, I'd send them one of my AmpuTeeHee T-shirts. If they were coming for the knitting (and most at that point were), I'd send some yarn. Well, it turned out that the winner was the wonderful (and very patient) WheelchairDancer, and she wanted armwarmers like mine...only black, and lacy. Here we are, almost 4 years later, and she still has cold arms (and me, in my shame have not announced a blogiversary since).

~~WheelchairDancer: If it's any consolation, it took me 6+ years to knit one grandma a cozy for her lysol can, and 34 years to knit the other grandma new egg cozies. And my mom is still waiting for a hat to her specifications.
You still have hope.
And my guilt.

*sigh* Embarrassing.
I did just pick out the pattern and yarn for the armwarmers though, so we are a few steps closer.

Anyway, embarrassment aside, I feel possessed to mark these milestones, and for this one I'm going to keep it as simple as possible (and with prizes I already have on hand).

THE CONTEST:

1) Leave a comment.


That's it!
Leave your comment here on this post by 5pm Pacific this Sunday.
I will draw Sunday night and let you know the results.
I would love it if you de-lurked and commented even if you don't want your name put into the hat (just say so if that's what you want---but why wouldn't you want to enter??).

There will be THREE WINNERS,
because I have THREE $25 AMAZON GIFT CARDS to give out.

(which makes a total of $75 in prizes and has nothing to do with "1000" I understand, but WhatchaGonnaDo---I couldn't come up with $1k in prizes--times are tough--and let's be honest: selfish me just spent it on an electric spinner).


***IMPORTANT: Comment moderation is still on, as I still get spam here. Once you comment, please allow me a day to approve your comment so that it will show up. I'm not online all day, and it might take some time. Be patient!
Duplicates will be deleted (1 entry per person, please!)
Thanks, and good luck!


It's 5pm on Sunday & the comments are now closed!
Thanks for entering ;-)

now (and earlier today)

Since I'm 365-ing it here this year anyhow, I thought this month I'd play along with NaBloPoMo's theme for June: NOW.

kinda smacks of zen, don't it? ;-)

So here's how I'm going to do this. I'll still be posting the normal whatever it is that gets posted around here that makes up my crazy mish-mash of a blog. But somewhere in the post I will throw in a line or two about what is happening "NOW". I'm inclined to let it happen where it may, so it could be smack dab in the middle of a post (and it could just BE the whole danged post, if things spin out of control on some days). I'll put a little "sticker" nearby so that you know what it is, k?


Quiet piano music coming from the radio. Dog barking and human voices up on the hill. Crumpled napkin beneath my cell phone. Day planner open to June showing a busy month ahead. I fret.



Like that.
Ok?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the record, I know I need to write about the Women Food And God book/workshop. I think about it every day, and not just in the, "Damn, I still haven't written that up yet," sort of way. I think about it in the, "How do I make this fit into a post when I'm all over the place about it," sort of way. I AM indeed working on it. Not just in my head, either. I'm writing about some of the exercises she took us through. Those seem to be the most concrete things I can relay at least. It is in progress. Stay tuned.

I'm also still working on a post back from February about Olympians, if you can believe it. Sorry, dudes. It's just how I roll.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In other news: man oh man, is Physical Therapy ever kicking my ass.

This walking thing is so hard. The funny thing, is that she (ThePT) seems to think I am doing fantastic. I'm going to take her word for it, because my word usually includes not giving myself a single ounce of credit.

This morning I showed up after not seeing her for over a week, and I thought she was going to cry. She said she couldn't believe the difference.

I have ditched the crutches and am using a cane, but only because when I use the crutches for support I use them like crutches. I have been on crutches for 6 years now, and I can't seem to use them any differently than the way I do, which means I throw a whole lot of weight onto my hands as I lean forward to take a step. This is not what needs to happen for walking two-legged and upright, though. Switching over to the cane instead has forced me to be vertical and to get weight onto the prosthetic leg where it belongs (and where it needs to be in order for the leg to function and bend properly).

I also managed to correct (although I'm not sure how) the width at which I keep my legs apart. It would seem that after years of one legged-ness, I have learned to keep my sound leg directly underneath me. Like as if I were doing the tree pose or something.



Well, okay--not "as if". I DO keep my sound leg directly under my center. It's the way I tick, man. I AM the embodiment of the Eternal Tree Pose really, if you think about it.

Anyhow. In PT last week, I was walking with a very narrow base of support. Almost like the way a model would walk.

except that I don't look quite that chic when I'm in PT
or any other time...LOL

So my automatic gait was to walk very much one foot directly in front of the other, like being on a balance beam. When I tried to give myself some space in between my feet, I felt like I was walking like a duck. Or like a was a two year old toddling about the room. I felt like I looked like a waddling idiot, and it was totally unnatural for me to do it. The only way I could plant the foot in the right place was to chant (and I mean literally chant, like a mantra): walk like a duck, walk like a duck, walk like a duck, with every step I took.

Silly, I know. LOL

The funny thing is that what felt wide to me was still narrower than normal. And last week while this little lesson was taking place, ThePT had me take a full pass across the gym while walking towards a full length mirror she rolled out in front of me just to prove her case because I didn't believe her. It may have felt like I was "gettin' my waddle on", but I was actually still a bit on the narrow side.
Just goes to show ya'.
The brain is goofy.

Anyhow, I guess somehow when I was asleep I corrected this and she nearly weeped tears of joy when I saw her this week because the change happened so quickly. This is interesting to me, because I'm going to be honest with you (and I was not even this honest with her)...I put very little time in on the leg this past week between appointments. I hurt my knee during the zen retreat from all of the getting up and getting down off the mat for three days, and I have been in pain for over a week now. I mean, I can barely even put weight on it with a bend in the knee (I am finding a solution for that for the next retreat...I can't have zen practice taking me out of commission like that). So here I am at today's appointment and she is teary eyed over my amazing progress and all I can think to say (to myself) is, "Well, imagine if I had actually PRACTICED." It kind of reminds me of MyFavoriteKid and the clarinet. He is awesome. His teacher even has him in line for 1st Clarinet. And he doesn't play a note outside of school.
Imagine if he practiced.

Okay, so back to PT today. There she is watery-eyed, and I'm sweating from a kajillion passes to and fro through the gym, and what is the reward for my hard work? More hard work, of course.

Outside we go to the Minefield-Of-Ambulatory-Encumbrances.

No, I don't know what it's really called. Probably the "Rehab Garden" or some shit. i shouldn't knock it. It's really lovely, actually. And amazing. It's a beautiful rooftop garden. Full of ramps. And curbs. And a bed of gravel. And a sandy path. And a patch of grass. And stairs (ooh, the stairs: 2" stairs, 4" stairs, and 6" stairs). I think I also spied a putting green in the corner.

So we go up and down and all around the garden for a good long while, and then we go out to my car so she can help me find a better way to get in and out of it without falling down, because that seems to be when my disasters occur. I kid you not. Twice so far. Ugh. Pavement is not my friend.

Then she takes me back inside to practice (you'll love this one) "falling techniques". She lays a big wrestling mat on the floor and has me walk towards it until I trip over it basically, and go flying. Fun times. And multiple fun times. The biggest thing I learned today from her today was (hellooooooooo) LET GO OF THE CANE so you can use your hands to break the fall.
Dudes, I hold onto the cane.
Like it's gonna help me once I'm going down.


Not.

So now I know to throw the cane, get my hands underneath me instead, and try to keep myself from going straight down on my knees, because it isn't good for my real one OR the fake one (but how long before can you say "hip replacement next?" LOL).

So, yah. PT today. I feel like I was hit by a truck.
Pass the ibuprofen, please.

And this week, I practice.

the perk of the peev

The Peev:

I woke up this morning to discover that my blog had been hit very hard last night by TheSpammerFromHell. Dozens upon dozens of comments were made (all having links to advertising). They were scattered all over my blog, through years worth of posts. All comments were needing to be deleted individually.

This took up all of my fun time today (which was limited in the first place).

I now have had to enable "comment moderation" here. Meaning if you write something, I now have to tend to it before it will be published...and ok fine, I'll do that, but what a bummer it is that this asswipe has to ruin the party here, especially when I was so happy just letting you guys go willy nilly and say whatever you want to say (feel free to do keep doing that. I love it. And it will get published eventually.


The Perk:

Well, the perk is that this fucktard nailed some of my best posts....some of which I had forgotten about entirely...and a few of them were written close to 5 years ago. (FIVE YEARS! I smell a blogiversary party coming on, kids...I'm also close to hitting 1k posts, too LOL).

If there was any bonus at all to having to spend small chunks of my day deleting-deleting-deleting....it was in being reminded of my past. I didn't have the time to really re-read them all the way through, but even just to scan some thoughts, and to see some old photos that I haven't thought about in ages? Well....it was great.



Lemons Into Lemonade, I done made.

And this idiot has spammed me six more times just while I have written this post, even with the comment moderation on.
Twit.

to kvetch or not to kvetch, that is the question

Ahhhh, it's a nice morning here at Casa de AmpuTeeHee!

MyFavoriteKid is off with his dad for the weekend (he left last night with TheEx after the play). TheMostImportantGuy came up and spent the night, so at present he is all tucked in and snoozing away (we chose not to get up at 5:30am to go to the zen center for a change, but instead to get some much needed sleep and practice here). RileyTheDog has already been outside to make sure his buried cookies are safe. The kitties are now out there, too...probably hunting for slow moving cold blooded animals. The snails are in the garden slowly eating up my dinner.


Wait. I don't like that part.
Let us move along, shall we?
This is to be a pleasant morning.

I am sitting here on the sofa, shades pulled up, looking out into my very quiet little neighborhood, watching the fog lift, listening to the birds going about their morning business, sitting here with a nice cup of hot coffee....ahhhh....time to myself and an opportunity to write something decent for a change. The gears in my brain are slowly beginning to grind, and the topics I could and should write about are slowly starting to organize themselves, and what keeps coming to the forefront of my mind....

....are complaints.
Gah. Hate that.

Okay. SO. A week or two ago, was it? I posted about responding to the question, "How are you," as I found I was blurting out things like, "Coffee cup!!" Remember that? (okay, so it was 3-1/2 weeks ago. time flies. here's a link to it).

Anyhow, I don't know if I ever followed up and told you, but after a little bit of a thought, and a whole series of inappropriate tourettes-like responses ("eating cheese!" ..."getting in my car!!"), I finally found a phrase that I could use to answer the How-Are-You question that felt genuine. It went:

I am good. But at the expense of much effort.

Whaddya think? Good one, eh? I think it's great.
Yes! Things are good! Or, alternatively, things are not good, but I have become good with them not being good. But! The good things in my life right now? Or the good attitude I have developed about the not so good things? Dang! I had to put in some serious effort to get it that way!

I like this response. Lots. It suited me. Nobody backed away from me slowly ("buying tomatoes!!"), and I wasn't lying. And it kept me present, in the moment, and in a strange way, appreciative and thankful to myself for my contributed effort towards making this world (ok, my little world) a better place.

Of course nothing lasts forever in this lovely little cauldron of suffering and impermanence we live in now, does it. (gotta love the buddhist description of things, dontcha?)

So I was brewing my cup o' joe this morning, and realizing that if you asked me today, right now, how I was, and I said, "Good. But at the expense of much effort," that this would be incorrect. A lie, actually. I'm not quite sure what the answer is today (or even just this second) but it's probably closer to..

I'm expending much effort, and things are not good, because even though I am expending much effort everyone and everything else is getting in my gosh-danged-mother-frickin-fracking WAY..and now (please) go away and quit raining on my GOOD little personal parade for-cryin-out-loud. SHEESH.

Something like that. Not as elegant a response. To be sure.

Okay, so I have like 18 things in my life right now that are going this way. And so now what...do I write about them? (It's this very question that has me posting something stupid like a quiz or a photo or a link, btw....in other words I basically just do nothing or as close as I can get to doing nothing while still keeping up with Blog365). Do I just make a short and sweet list here? Get it out of me so I can blast through the writers block, but restrain from ramping myself up into kvetching mode? Do I just go full-frontal-kvetch on yer arses? A couple paragraphs for each of the 18? Or 18 full page posts in a row? A topic a day? Do I just shut up and post cute photos of the dog and/or little quizzes about what flavor toothpaste you are, and wait until the impermanence-thing kicks in like it always does (which could happen any moment now, umm are ya hearing me out there, life?).

I mean who knows.

*takes another sip of coffee, looks out the window and checks the status of the fog*

List. I think I list. I think the exercise of the day is to play with acknowledging the facts, but not splattering my feelings and opinions all over it. Not sure I can do that. I'm kinda opinionated. And f-f-f-feeeeeling. But yah, a list.



Oooo TheMIG just shuffled out here half asleep, sat next to me, made a little giggle sound and said, "It's fun waking up with cute girls in the house." I think that concludes my typing for now LOL.


I have an afternoon meeting with my co-dance teachers to work on some stuff for our class, but the evening and tomorrow morning are free....so the list, I shall create. And then tomorrow afternoon? It's the San Francisco Ravelry Meet-Up! So Monday I can make the list sorta disappear under a loooong photo heavy post about fun times and fiber-fumes ;-)

ten on tuesday

Well, it would seem that the Ten on Tuesday person has missed a few weeks, as there is no topic posted! I've decided to make a list of my own this week.

Ten Comments That I Need To Respond To

I read every single comment, love and appreciate them all (except for the asian spam...what-up wit dat?!). I love the support of people who comment regularly, and I love it when one of you finally de-lurks to say something. At times I am diligent about replying to every single comment within the comments, and other times (like, ummm...since Jan 1), I fail to do that. I know y'all have told me I dont really need to reply to comments, but the truth is, some of you actually ask questions in the comments. So here are some that have popped up since Jan 1, and my replies.



1) Jan 4, Jennie asks: So when you left the pub, did they have to rename it The 2 Cripples pub? LOL Actually, as I was leaving, a little girl in costume was pulling a sled around with a little boy in it. She stopped to talk to me because I asked her if she ever got a turn at getting a ride. She told me no, and that it was hard work pulling around her brother Tiny Tim. So for just a moment, we were 4 Crips!

2) Jan 5, (formerly) no-blog-rachel asks: Did you get a chance to visit the Lyman Museum and their home next door? No! We did not. We really wanted to, and even drove right by it, but we got goofed up that day because I had to return the rental car and get a new one (the check engine light had come on!). But we did go to the Tsunami Museum, and also the downtown Hilo Farmer's Market. I love Hilo.

3) from Jan 8, Carol asks: Did you know you are nominated for a Bobby on Ravelry? For your profile pic? Yup. I found out just a few days before you mentioned it and I posted about it here on the 19th. What I still can't figure out though is when the voting ends! Do you know? I cant find it anywhere, and the mods of the bobby awards arent even answering someone who asked the same thing on their forum board!

4) from Jan 15, Jenna asks: We don't have that brand of meatless products around here, do they make good products? Keep looking for it! It's a new product! I actually found out about it just a couple of days ago when I saw a chef using them in a demo on the Ellen DeGeneres show LOL. All Whole Foods carries the line, as do some regular (more independent) grocery chains. The brand also has some "chicken" stuff too, but I've only tried the "beef" cubes that I showed you. I sauteed them in a little olive oil before tossing them in the stew, and of course I sampled one before I tossed. I actually preferred it sauteed. Was good stewed, too...but the consistency was most awesome right out of the pan.

5) from Jan 19, jodi asks: Dear gods, is that Whitesnake up there? Heh. Indeed it is. Girlfriend knows her HairBands, doesn't she!! That picture kinda makes me want to roll around on the hood of a car LOL.

6) also from Jan 19...For those who missed it, I posted about a contest, which is still running (click here, scroll down)...donna guesses: Most likely to do time? Nope. And I did that before my senior year anyhow ;-) ROTFLOL.

7) from Jan 22, donna wonders about malas: Wonder if I can make one. Sure! Why not? Actually, the monk at the zen center told me that he had made his own. In zen practice, malas have 108 beads (plus the big one with the knot indicating the round)...except they often come in fractions of that number. The monk made his 54 beads and so he goes around twice. Mine is 27 and I go around 4 times. I do have one with 108 beads, but for me the 27 is easier to manage with the bowing. The 108 one goes flyin' around. Oh, and since you are the bead lady, check online (a place like here) for some lovely inspiration....and go for it! ;-)

8) from Jan 25, ragnar asks: Second of all...why did that make me start crying? After reading your comment, I realized I didn't really even know what caused me to cry! So I went and watched it again (the 4th or 5th time in two days, and it still gets me teary-eyed), and payed attention to when my eyes would well up. What I can tell you is that it is not the performance itself. It is primarily the response of the people watching. Watch it again, and pay attention to the onlookers!
There is something completely magical to me about what happens when we get to be witness to art (or anything, for that matter) that completely takes us by surprise. Look at the faces! Look at how the people watching just sort of get caught up and merge into the whole experience in their own varying ways! There is something so entirely profound about what happens when something so spontaneously surprises us! And I find it really powerful when that sort of experience happens to a whole group of people at once (it's actually very similar to the way people will connect over a tragedy as well, yah?)
What also made me happy-cry about this, is knowing that a whole huge group of people came together to create this magical scene for the witnesses. They become magicians. Shit stirrer-uppers (heh. I like that.).
And lastly, what makes me emo...look at what a range of performers! Look at them all! And look how soooo many different types of people pulled together to make this happen! This is not like being moved at the ballet by a troupe, ya' know? This is normal people. ANYONE could have been part of this project, and that to me (as a fan and participant of dance), is super-duper awesome.

9) not a question, but I must acknowledge this: Thanks for all the comments regarding migraines. Special thanks to Barb for pointing out the possible aspartame connecton. That may actually be it. I'm not sure I would have noticed that on my own. I'm tinkering, tracking, and recording.

10) Also not a question, but Gwen pointed out that my job description with the cancer stuff is to support the support. So very true. And I am also thinking that makes me S.S.AmpuTeeHee.

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I'm going to add one more here. I can't call it #11 because it's so important it should come before #1. It's a personal note in response to Carol: I did not know about your dad :-( I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending love & light your way *hugs*.

slop

I'm getting quite sloppy with my daily blogging skillz thang, apparently.

I do this thing with my bloglines where when I have a topic I want to post about or a link I'd like to share, I slap it into the body of a post, and then save it so it's in my drafts. That's the only way I've found to remember it (ask me how often I check my drafts though, LOL).

Somewhere earlier in the month, I found out that there was going to be something going on this month like NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month), except it was to inspire the readers to comment. Maybe it was called NaBloCoMo or something, I dunoo (except that I think it was just for a one week, not a whole month). I could swear it was supposed to be near the end of the month, and I was just certain that I had saved the link to it in a drafted blogpost (of course not, though)....and I was going to ask you guys to all participate (so selfish me wouldn't feel like she's blogging into outerspace...I get so lonely).

So I go to my list of posts sitting in drafts this morning, and of course I cannot find the NaBlCoWhatever we are calling it thing I was sure I had saved....but sure as shit, there is my post from Thursday (which was done on Thursday, please pat me on the back) sitting there in drafts, un-posted....just like I did earlier in the month.
Like I said.
Loss of skillz.

Now, to my credit, Thursday was the day I spent in Urgent Care after several hours of vomitting, and by the time I came home to write that post, I had been injected with a few funny little things to make the pain go away (apparently I now have a migraine issue). So it's amazing to me that I even took a photo of the meds and uploaded it and typed something before plopping into bed. Just too bad I didnt hit "publish post" instead of "save now". So lame.


Anyhow. I am off to spinning class this not-so-bright morning. Something about cashmere and angora, if I recall. MyFavoriteKid spent the night at a buddy's house and then they are going to the younger bro's birthday/bowling party....and TheMostImportantGuy is finishing up a 2-day retreat at the Zen Center. I've had a lot of time alone. It's funny. When I'm busy? I wish for time alone to do things with myself that nobody else wants to do. When I have the time alone? I wish I wasn't.
I need to ponder that.

feast or famine

All or nothing.
When it rains it pours.
Last year I did Blog 365.
This year has been quite scant.
And every year (except the first year), since I have been keeping a blog, I have participated in National Blog Posting Month...


...more affectionately known as NaBloPoMo (which was originally a November "thang", but now it looks like they do it year round with themes and whatnot).

This year will be no exception.

Get ready, 'cuz here I come...

*sound of crickets chirping*

When the only comments you get on your blog are Japanese spam, it's a pretty good sign that you are long overdue for a post.

a bouquet from T.Joe's that I couldn't resist buying for myself

I haven't been compelled to write because basically I have been "Happy About NOTHING" (even a ten-buck bouquet couldn't fix it)...and I get sick of hearing myself kvetch.

To be honest, my life is pretty damn great, and I do recognize that fact on a daily basis. I am grateful for many many many things, and I am also present enough to see several of life's daily little miracles.

But in between the shining moments of gratitude and presence??
DUDES! I am SO bogged down in the mire!!!
Ugh.



I've got a couple of posts percolating. Hope to be back shortly. Rather than longly ;-)

give her an inch, she'll take a mile

I can't even count how many time I heard my parents say that about me when I was a kid.

Some things never change, I guess. I take a couple of days off away from the blog (at that point it was mostly due to travel and internet access), but then I get home and I can't get back on the horse.

Not for lack of content, to be sure.

The truth of it is that a whole bunch of stuff has happened worth writing about, but it is all charged with heavy emotion. Now, I have no issue getting all "emo" on the blog here (sing it with me!: we've done it before, and we'll do it again) but it does require some extra effort for me to translate matters of the heart into the words of my mind (I like to call the distance between those two points "the longest 18 inches").

So what happens then is the same old pattern. I feel like I need to "catch my blog up" on recent events, but my deeeeeep emooootional f-f-f-feeeeeelings need to be translated into words, and so I do that, and in my head I have the general gist of a blogpost....and then pretty much just as I sit down to type....the next big "emo catastophe" strikes, and I'm stuck in processing-mode again, not to mention behind.

What is making this even worse is that the events that have been happening in the last couple of weeks, are pointing to the fact that I have f-f-f-failed to follow through on things, and so the associated f-f-f-feeeeeelings smack of total inadequacy.

Follow?

Yah, if not, here's another cute photo of one Riley on Vacation:



Not as cute as yesterday's of course, because this one was taken when he was being left in the RV alone for a few....forget the fact that he has food and treats and a dog bed and toys....oh no, he wants OUT.

Anyhow.
The general gist is that on the logistical side, things are proving to be quite busy these last couple of weeks of summer (losing my wallet in the middle of this has not helped)...and on the emo side, I've had a close friend just out of the hospital, I've lost two of my convalescent home folks to the big home in the sky, it's the 10 year anniversary of losing my mentor, I'm getting older, people around me are getting older, and I've sort of become a crabby old hermit lady that doesn't like people so much.

Wait. Here's another cute pic.



See?
That is so much easier.

kvetchup on your fluff?

Yah, I know. Where'd I go?
Every single day I have thought about blogging my life's petty dramas, but ringing in my ears is the voice of my grandfather:

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Here's a funny little disconnect for you, though. Even though I recall these being my grandfather's words, I am not sure that I ever heard him actually say them. In actuality, I think it was always my mother saying, "You know, your grandfather always used to say.....," yet I still mentally process the whole schpeel as coming from him. Interesting, aint it?

Anyhow. "Not saying anything at all" is exactly what I have doing here at the blog, obvioulsy. A couple of people that know me real time have said, "Sooooooooo...I've noticed you haven't be posting much," but it wasn't until tonight when I was having dinner at my folks (and by the way, they let me knit after dinner at the table this time---woohoo!) that I realized what my last post was. Mom said, "....cuz I'm really gettin' sick of seeing that old guy in the hallway!"

Oh jeez. Sorry about that kids. Even though I was hoping it had an effect.

But back to avoiding the blog as a way of avoiding complaining (hint: it's not working. Wherever you go, there you are.). If you follow along, this is old news: I am a chronic complainer. I have determined that this is my nature, and that complaining (out loud) is a crucial step in my process of "letting it go". And I can't stand that I do it. And I am trying to change it. And it's a very hard habit to break. Gah. I know that I still need to "process" things.....that part is never going to change....but I'd love it if my process was a wee bit different. I'm not sure yet if that means more quietly, more quickly, or just less. Or something entirely different.

Meanwhile, as I still bumble through my days bitching about all the injustices point at meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....I do know that when I look around me at the "state of things" that I really have not much to complain about. Often times throughout the day I find myself feeling grateful for things big and small, and I truly find life to be amazing and wonderful, and I feel completely blessed with the current state of things. Then some asswipe cuts me off in traffic so badly that I fear for my safety, or the cats let a live lizard loose in my bedroom, or a friend dumps me, or reahearsing for the concert gets all goofed up....and then I'm kvetching again. *sigh*

Here's some fluffy photos for you while I sort it all out.
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I'm still having fun with the spinning. This came in the mail in April from A Verb For Keeping Warm (the Wooly Wonders Fiber Club).

It's 4oz of 100% Corriedale wool, colorway "The Candle's Nimble Flame". I spun it up using a spindle.

that's my fancy new plying tool from Golding

I spun up all 4 ounces and then spun up another single out of BFL and plied it all together. I have about 350 yards total, and it came out to be a sport weight. Here's a link in Ravelry.


I have no idea what I'm going to knit with it yet. I was thinking it would make an awesome Baby Surprise Jacket because the color repeats are so long, but TheBon was kind enough to remind me that it isn't superwash. I have no desire to make my mommy-friends hate me for having to handwash, so scrap that one. I think it will be a scarf of some sort. I've been swatching a couple of stitch patterns.
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I also knit this big fat scarf. Ravelry Link.




The buttons are vintage shell.
Pattern here. I really enjoyed knitting it up. I would totally do this again. My version is in a Super Bulky yarn, which may be a bit of overkill, but I think it looks great. Probably won't get much use 'til next winter though---the weather up here already has us up into the 80's!
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There IS lots to write about. This is my blog, and this should be an outlet, and I think about it. every. single. day.
And at the same time, I am just sick to death of listening to myself.
I'm not sure if that makes any sense, and I don't have any idea what to do about it.
Kinda sucks.

i've never understood moderation

Moderation is just not a word that has ever made to this here extremist. Typically I am either doing something obsessively, or not at all. Kinda drives me nuts, but at 42 I'm kinda thinking this might be a "can't teach an ol' dog new tricks" sort of thing, and I'm just going to have to apply a different strategy when it comes to things like blog posting.

Last year I did daily entries for an entire year.
The year ended, and now I can't seem to get in more than one or two posts a month.

Sad.

Back in the days before I had a blog, I would pull this routine with my pen and paper journal. I'd feel a twinge of guilt that I hadn't written in awhile, then I'd remember it was PAPER, and it had no FEELINGS, and that it was MY paper, and I'd get over it real quick-like and sit my ass down and write something.

But with the blog? I dunno. Seems like a whole different ballgame. I know it's a blank entry screen, I know it's MY blank entry screen....but I'm not entirely convinced that my blog has no feelings. It talks back. There are comments. There are people reading. And saying things. With feelings. The blog is not a book that I write in, and as obvious as that may seem, I forget that. After all these years.

Not sure if this rambling makes any sense, but....

I miss my blog. Every single day something happens that I want to document, but I don't, and then I get behind, and I feel guilty and lazy, and all sorts of other evils, and I'm just sick to death of being estranged from something I love so much and has become such a solid part of who I am.

So since I can't moderate this, I'm swinging the goshdarned pendulum the other direction.

See you tomorrow. And the next day. Etc.

watch out....

....she's baaaaaack.


I have lots on my mind and nowhere else to put it but here. You'll be seeing me more over the next few days. The dust has settled, and I finally have time to type.

But not right now. 'Cuz I'm knitting and watching Sense & Sensibility on PBS (Yay, Masterpiece Classics!! WooHoo!! I've been watching every Sunday since the run started in January).

Anyhow. If you missed me, stay tuned. If you preferred the silence, well....consider yourself forewarned ;-) I've missed the blog, and I'm happy to be back.

so much for one liners

All day long I was thinking that I'd make this final post a one liner, and I couldn't narrow it down.

Contenders?

* Happy New Year.
* Sayonara.
* So long, and thanks for all the fish (if you didn't read the book, that will make no sense at all).
* It's going to be strange not posting tomorrow.
* Maybe I'll just keep going.


Thanks to all who followed along this year. I promise, I'll be back regularly.

poll

This blog is named "AmpuTeeHee" because when I started out, the intention was for it to be a place for me to record all of the silly and stupid thoughts I had (or things people had said to me) about being a one legged gimp.

Since this blog's beginning, the byline has been:

because being an amputee is often quite funny


Here we are, more than four years later, and the content is now rarely about being a one legged gimp.

I have been thinking of changing the byline to:

far too many parentheses and ellipses


So, whaddya think?!
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PS...Happy 65th Birthday Dad!!
Does this make you an honorary member of the OFC**??
Or maybe The Grand Poobah or something???


**Old Farts Club ;-)

tonight's a wash

I'm so busy. I've got so many things to do to get ready for going out of town for the tour. Besides packing for my own self and getting the household ends tied up, I also have to pack up MyFavoriteKid so he can go where he is going, and I have to pack up Riley the DogDogDog so he can go off to the pet hotel (which I am so terribly worried about).

Whee.

In between all of this, I'm trying to catch up on some blog reading. I'm so danged behind with some of y'all I'm not even sure if I will ever be able to catch up! Especially since I have no idea if I will have an internet connection where I am going, or how much free time I will have to use it. I could be buried by the time I get back.

Oh, and the blog. That is another thing. In order to keep up with Blog365, I am working on some entries that will auto-post in my absence, just in case I can't get to a computer.

So basically I am here tonight writing about "nothing", because all day long I have been writing all day about "somethings", but you don't get to read any of it right now. Ridiculous, aint it?

g'night ;-)