snaps on sunday, too?

Oh, the life of a daily blogger LOL I aint got nothin'. And I'm exhausted from the retreat. So here is another photo of the same danged thing as yesterday.

snaps on saturday

with love, from the retreat....

at the zen center today...

what am i thinking not thinking?!

Today's schedule was a tight one.  MyFavoriteKid off to school by 8. An 8:30am to 9:30am meeting with the cabinet installer and the painter to make sure all was understood (because the cabinets arrived only primed and need to be painted...and the cabinet guy needs to finish by Sunday because the painting starts Monday).  Depart from the meeting to pick up my dad before 10am to go to radiation.  Straight to eaching at the senior center until MyFK gets out of school, who then gets taken for a haircut. Home for a minute, but then off to go teach dance class.

When I met with the installer and painter and they asked me how I was, I told them that my day was going to like a shit-storm of falling dominoes if one single thing fell out of place.  They laughed, and then my phone rang, and there you have it:  another domino.

James, the main guy I see at the convalescent hospital on Mondays, the guy whom I have been seeing weekly for, what....7 years or more now?....he called me from the hospital.  Not the convalescent hospital, the hospital  hospital, and he was confused because he woke up there and wasn't sure how he got there, except that the nurses were telling him that he blacked out Wednesday evening.

So I spent every single free moment in between all the other stuff I had to do, dealing with talking to nurses and his doctor and getting permission to help him from the administration (since I'm not family, but I'm all he's got).

And guess what I am doing this weekend?!!  I am going to the zen center for a long overdue 3-day mediation retreat!  Just in time to not be able to help with the hospital stuff, and just in time to not oversee the completion of the cabinet installation (even though we are now the general contractors). 

So instead of doing what probably really needs to be done....I'll be staring at the floor and meditation to "save all sentient beings"....rather than saving my own kitchen, my own friend in the hospital, and my own sanity.  In other words, I'll be staring at the floor thinking about why I am trying not to be thinking about the things I should be thinking about.

Seems kinda stupid.
But I'll send photos.

simplify

I am feeling melty. (melted?? whatever.)

Too many details to keep track of, between coordinating the kitchen remodel, dance class, MyFavoriteKid's end of year activities, etc etc etc (etc etc??)

My brain is so melty that I had to abandon my current knitting project (temporarily) for something even a complete beginner could knit. Seriously.  (or as MyFK would say, "srsly".)  I cast-on for a garter stitch shawl.  One that I know I will wear to death, so I am happy to knit it. But it is the most basic, meditative, back and forth pile o' knitting.

I am thrilled. 

I am using two skeins of yarn that have been sitting in a yarn bowl in my livingroom for way too long (years, I am sad to admit).  I was just waiting for just the right pattern. I am knitting this shawl/scarf/thingy in a dark chocolate color as the main, and a golden color as the contrast.  I can already tell you that I will wear it to death.


In other news, if you are following along, I haven't been able to make it to the hairdresser because I am slammed with too many things, and gray hairs abound.  Today my neighbor (the mom of MyFK's best friend) came over and cut my hair for $10 and helped me get a box of over the counter hair color onto my head.  $16.99 instead of I-am-afraid-to-admit-to-how-much.   Do that a couple of times, and it will pay for the fancy kitchen sink I picked out!! LOL

maybe this is why my tummy is feeling ooogy today

During my morning check-in on the kitchen at the new place, I discovered that a chunk of the cabinetry was about to be installed incorrectly. No fault of the guy installing. He's been operating off of TheTurkey's plans, elevations, and notes...which "ebb and flow" in such a way, of course, that they are not exact representations of what actually needs to occur to get this damn kitchen built. As he would have said, "You can't know what's going on in my head." Oy. Anyhow, new cabinet guy is awesome, and once I saw things were askew, he totally got it and things were re-set, but jeeeez...had I not been there sooner, it could have a been a lot of undoing. I have such a tummy ache tonight. It's probably just stress (well, and maybe because since I have been feeling stressed lately I haven't been making the best of food choices, either). When this kitchen is done, I swear the first thing I am going to make, as simple as it is, is a pot of pint and chammomile tea to calm my nerves!

One of my Mother's Day cards from yesterday:

Well, aint that the truth?!

a different kind of mom's day this year

There are two things on my mind this Mother's Day that is setting it apart from all the other Mother's Days I have celebrated.

For starters (and I really do worry about sounding like a shit for saying this, so do let me explain).....this is the first Mother's Day that what I have wanted as a gift is time with my kid. 

I know. I sound like a complete jerk and even saying it here out loud on the internet has me worried that the MommyPolice are going to show up and revoke my card.  But hey.  Most of my years spent mothering have been spent as a single mom, and even when I was not single, I was still pretty much THECaptain at the Helm of the Household, especially in the parenting department, and I would not describe myself as a slacker when it comes to parenting.  From the very beginning of my being a mother, what I always wanted for myself for Mother's Day was a day off.  A spa day. A break.  Please. Help. Tired. Alone time. Please.

Anyhow, a few weeks ago, I was starting to think about how Mother's Day was going to spent this year, and rising up out of my gut was this very different feeling for me.  Fourteen years of spa days (most of them without the actual spa, but hey...I am good at pretending LOL), and this is the first year that rather than craving a day off, I am totally craving that my kid spends time with me.  I guess the key to all of this are the words "fourteen years," and the fact that as MyFavoriteKid gets older, he's spending less and less time with me.  And I miss him.

So we're going out to lunch today with my mom (and my dad, too), to a casual place where we can eat  but also catch the Giant's game at the same time.  Should be really nice :-)


There is one other thing on my mind this Mother’s Day, and it has nothing to do with my mom or my being a mom.

Once upon a time, I had a “dance mom”. She was more than just my dance class teacher, she was my mentor.  She taught me things about dancing that have oozed over into so many other areas of my life that I am a changed person.  Seriously, I would not be who I am today if I had not know her.  She taught me bellydance, but because she herself was also a modern dancer (in addition to her being a bellydancer), her style of bellydance was really about using the movements as a form for creative self-expression. In other words, she sort of approached bellydance like modern dance, in that she used it to tell stories. With her as my example, I have created dance pieces over the years to mark deaths, births, celebrations, and to work my way through some very complex emotions.

Jamie passed away from a brain tumor in 1999.  Her tumor affected her speech center, but that didn't keep her from communicating: she danced right up to the very end.  She was 57 years old. After she passed, a few of us (her more advanced troupe members) began teaching her class, and I have now taught (a variation, because it will never be the same) her method of work for 12 years (twelve years??!! is that possible??!! gah!!).

In 2004 I lost one of my legs in a car accident, and I still teach and perform…. but I so often wish that Jamie could pop into class even if for just one single moment.  I wish I could have Jamie’s perspective on my dancing and feedback about how my one-legged body moves, because I know should would have had plenty to say about it (she was ridiculously outspoken LOLOL....and I laugh because that is an understatement!).

 Here’s a pic of Jamie:

And here’s a pic of me dancing, post accident:

Jamie’s was born on May 13th, so this year her birthday lands today, on Mother’s Day. Had she lived, she would have turned 70 today. I know she would  have still been dancing and teaching in some form or another.

Anyhow, I’ve been thinking about Jamie more than usual this year. I miss my teacher, and even though I love being a teacher myself (and I am learn something every single class from my students), I miss being taught.


At Jamie's memorial I acquired a card that was given out that day.  I keep in my bedroom on my little altar full of things that are special to me. The card has a photo of Jamie posing in one of her dance costumes along with the following poem by Marge Piercy:

When I dance I forget myself, I am danced.

Music fills me to overflowing, and the power moves

Up from my feet to my fingers, making the leaves as sap does.

Taste what is in your mouth.

If it is water, still taste it.

Wash out the cups of your fingers,

Clean your eyes with new tears for your sister.

We are not worse revolutionaries if we remember

That the universe itself pulses like a heart;

That the blood dances within us; That joy is a power.

Treading with hoofs and talons on our flimsy bodies;

That water flows and fire leaps and the land gives strength.

If  you build on it with respect, if you dance on it with vigor,

If you put seeds in with care and give what what is leftover;

That and ritual of unity makes some of what it pretends;

That everything is a part of something else.

Happy Mother's Day to the Mothers out there who are "moms" in others ways than just the traditional.

snapless saturday

I always post a photo on Saturdays, but if I did that today, it would have been the same shot as yesterday!

I got up at 5:30am to be at the school volunteering by 7am.  It was a really fabulous event, and except for two things, it went pretty seamless. 

1) One of the band directors felt faint on stage, and almost passed out. I got him some water, opened the doors for some air, and he conducted the second half of his group's performance. Then I sent him to the hospitality room for some more water, fruit, and juice.  When I checked on him a few minutes later, he was very flushed, and 15 minutes after that, when his next group (his older kids) were about to go on, I found out that an ambulance had been called.  He looked okay as he was leaving, laughing that he had too much coffee before the show and not enough water on the bus ride in, and his kids still performed and the whole day just progressed forward.

2)  While the bands were performing in the theater, the choral groups were performing down the hall. At one point as a band was about to start, "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" started leaking out of the sound system in the theater.  It sent me on a bit of a scramble, and it turned out that the soloists mike down the hall (cordless) was on the same frequency as the system in the theater. Who woulda knew.

Those both sound like big things, now that I type them up, but honestly...the day went really really smoothly regardless, and I sure hope our school gets to host again because it's worth some bucks to the music department if we do!

Now I go, and pass out from exhaustion!

band after band after band after band

Oh my gosh, being the announcer took more out of me than I thought today! I didn't even have time to stop and knit in between! 
Just home now at 10:30pm and I have to be back again at 7am.

scant

I have a busy couple of days ahead of me, so my daily posts oughta be interesting! (well, or really boring LOL) Maybe I'll try to queue something up for tomorrow ahead of time...hmmmmm.

Anyhow, Thursdays are not hectic, they are just quite full. I have been taking dad to his radiation treatments every Tue-Thu (he goes with mom Mon-Wed-Fri). After that we run a few errands, then I teach knitting at the senior center in the afternoon, then I teach dance class at night.

And then this week Friday and Saturday are quite full! On Friday my goal is always to make it to the Friday morning knitting group, and then we become "Ladies Who Lunch" afterwards. We'll have to see if that works out for me this week, because this Friday is the day the kitchen cabinets are delivered and the new sub-contractor starts. I might need to be on-site. We'll see.
And for the record, I'm kinda freakin' out.

Whatever I end up doing for the earlier part of Friday, the second half of Friday is shot.

I am volunteering at MyFavoriteKid's high school Friday and Saturday. His music program is hosting a national music festival. It's a first time thing for his school.  This festival is usually hosted by the neighboring high school, but they somehow dropped the ball. Our Band Director has scrambled to pick up the slack and put this whole thing together in 3 weeks!! It's a big deal because apparently the National group that organizes this program is looking for a new host school, and if our school gets it, it could mean a huge chunk of money each year for the music program.

 I'll be there working from 3pm to 10pm on Friday, and then on Saturday my shift is 7am (gah!) to 3pm. I will be the official theater announcer for both days, which is a pretty cush job...and I think I'll be off stage enough that I might be able to get some simple knitting done. I am going to cast on some new socks in a light colored yarn just in case.

Once this whole thing is over at 3pm on Saturday I am supposed to take a dance class with live drummers after that from 4pm to 6pm, but I believe that to be highly unlikely, the more I think about it. I feel bad about it because the class is being hosted by one of the members of my dance troupe, and also because when I went to the last one, I had so much fun!!   But I think I might be so exhausted, and drumwork is quite hard on my leg....I'm worried about injuring myself.  Which is not something I have time for.

And then Sunday. Sunday is Mother's Day, of course... but I DO have a few things to say about Mother's Day this year, so if Friday and Saturday are scant here on the blog, look for something on Sunday.

Have a great weekend y'all!! xoxox!

a yarn bombing of olympic proportion

Do click through on the link....you have to see the rest of the photos! The close ups of certain sections are the best :-)

Even the paralympics were included! Woot!

I sure hope it's not treated like graffiti and stripped away in a day like most of the yarn bombing in Berkeley.

hahaha

Ohhh, I had forgotten how much I liked visiting Engrish.com

 

things i ponder

You know, I'm not a huge fan of the Price is Right....I mean, I don't seek it out and turn it on. It's just one of those shows that I catch out of the corner of my eye while I'm doing housework if I've left the television on too long. Or if I'm sick in bed with a cold. And I enjoy it. And I shout out my guesses from the sideline and my eyes water if just the right person wins a whole pile o' goodies and all that....

 But even though I have only just caught it out of the corner of my eye or watched while sick in bed, I have been doing that since I was a wee little tyke, like way back in the Bob Barker days, and it's been years now that I have been asking myself (in a very agitated tone):

Am I tripping out on furniture polish or dryer sheets or cold meds??  Or have I really never seen a disabled person on the stage of the Price is Right??  I, personally, have never seen one. Have you?? (hint: NO. Well, at least not a person in a wheelchair. For some reason I do believe I saw a military version of the show once where the entire audience was made up of folks in various branches of the service, and I sure seem to recall seeing a prosthesis in there somewhere....but I also mighta been on Nyquil and may be entirely making this up in my head).

I mean, I guess the issue is that disabled people aren't so great for marketing, right? Or for making sure you hit your commercial break on time, which may not happen if our gimpy selves are going to take to long to get from point A to point B.  Is that the issue??  Or is it that we can't jump up and down like a game-show-fool or drive away in the car or RV they have won without adapting the vehicle first ....but is that really even the point when we cant even get up the stairs if our names were called?!?! (not that you are pulling names out of a hat or anything though, are you...hrmph).


ANYHOW. These things I ponder.

But apparently, I am not alone.
Like, I am really not alone.  Nope.  I am definitely not.  LOLOL

pooped

I just woke up on the couch with the tv on and knitting in my hands.  I fell asleep knitting! hahahaha
I couldn't take a photo of myself, but imagine I looked something like this...

...because this was my couch crashing partner in crime.

Sorry so blurry, but I was/am half asleep!  Off to bed now. The real bed!

snaps on saturday

Knittin', snackin', sippin'.....what a super wonderful afternoon it was :-)

MyFavoriteKid is off at his dad's this weekend and this is the first Saturday in a very long time that TheMostImportantGuy and I have not had to go look at appliances or tile or countertops or flooring or meet with potential contractors. Yay!  We got up early and went for morning practice at the zen center. We went out to breakfast with the zen center peeps.  We looked over the wedding photos I took with last weekend's bride and groom.  On the way home we stopped off at the home of the wonderful Kimberly (from the Friday knitting group I go to) as she was hostessing a little party. I figured we'd be there a from noon until 2-ish....just a couple of hours.  We were there for SIX HOURS and it was fabulous and I might have had to spend the last hour or two waiting for my cocktails to wear off (best rum I have ever had). Anyhow, lots of fun, lots of laughs.  And lots of doggie cuteness!

:-(

Sad news.

oh my gosh...down to the wire!

Blogging 365 and having a meeting after dance class that runs until after 11 just does not cut it sometimes!  It's 11:59 and I just opened up the window here to be begin typing.  And I have an early morning!! 

So here's a brief check-in!

I am feeling more like myself these past few days.  Less stressed. Lighter.
People that know me in real life and see me fairly regularly are telling me that I am looking more like myself. Less stressed. Lighter.

Indeed this is a good sign :-)

i coulda been in pictures....

A nice well rounded day.  Too bad I didn't take a single snapshot. I would have been much more fun to share this by way of photo.
Here, try to visualize:

a morning doctor's appointment
a bit of time at home to catch up on housework
teaching knitting at the high school
cocktails and dinner with a friend, it was her birthday :-)
then on to a trunk show at a local yarn shop

part two

Finally.  The second part of the story about how our contractor walked off the job.  It's all rambl-y and messy because even though I have tried to edit it, I just keep rewriting it because I am trying to type it up the same way it would come out of my mouth if you were sitting here with me over a cup of coffee. Or a beer. Or two.

Here's Part 1 if you missed it ;-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay. So, as previously described, TheTurkey of a contractor had indeed proven himself to be A WorldClassTurkey, but none of the prior offenses were big enough pieces of straw to break the proverbial camel's back.

Here is what finally ended the sick and twisted relationship.

The cabinet order was going to be delayed by 3 weeks.  TheTurkey came to me and said, "You know, there is going to come a point where I will have done all of the work that I can do here until the cabinets arrive, and I cannot afford to have days with no work.  I have several smaller one week jobs lined up for after your kitchen, but the people are flexible with the start date. I can arrange to do one, two, or three of them while we wait for the cabinets to arrive, and then come back to finish."

Fair enough.  I ask TheTurkey if he can give me two weeks notice, he says no, but he can give me one and we agree to that.  The following Wednesday he declares that he is hereby giving a one week's notice. As of that following Wednesday, he will have done all that can be done and he will be at a stopping point until the cabinets arrive.

Ok, cool.

That next Monday, the Monday before the Wednesday that is to be his last day for awhile, TheTurkey texts me says:

It appears we will be working here through the week and gone next week. 

(except he misspelled "through" and "week", but hey....)

Now, being that this guy is billing or job as time and materials, it seems fair enough to be that I should asking myself, "Hmmm!!  So, did TheTurkey really find two more days worth of stuff for he and his guy/crew to do?? Like really?  Another 32 hours with of labor?? Really?? After he was so sure he'd be out of things to do by Wednesday??  Or is the problem really that his 'other flexible job' was really not that flexible and he really could not start working there in the middle of the week?  Is it possible that he is just killing time on our job so that he isn't off the clock for two days?"

Doesn't that question seem legit??  I sure think it does.   I mean, he really could have things to do on our job, but how do I know if I don't ask, right??
But I sit with myself for a moment, and I realize that as legit of a question as it is to be asked,  I am not the one to ask it.
I am punchy.  I am overwhelmed, crabby, worried about appliances and fixtures, worried about my dad and his health stuff, I have had a week or so of being manipulated by my teenager, I was busy thinking about and preparing for performance stuff, I wasn't sleeping well....I mean, I could see where this train was gonna go, and I wanted off.  I KNEW that if I asked this seemingly legit question it had the potential to go wrong.

So I called TheMostImportanGuy and related to him the text message I had received and my concerns (and he joined me in my concern), and told him that I did not think I was the best person to follow up with TheTurky and why, and he said he would do it. And he did.  Well, he tried to.  He texted TheTurkey and asked him to call.  TheMIG did not get a call back from TheTurkey that afternoon or evening.  So the next morning, TheMIG left a written message for TheTurkey on the jobsite that asked him to call first thing.

Well.  TheTurkey did not call TheMIG.  Instead, he texted me:

Goodmorning. Call or stop by. Thanks.

 

Now, I don't know why I did what the text said to do.  I have ran this over and over in my mind, because it was my biggest mistake.  But I went.

I got to the house and TheTurkey started to apologize that he wasn't giving me the one week's notice on what day he was going to start or stop. He has said Wednesday, and now he was changing it Friday, and he hoped that wouldn't be a problem.  I told him that the concern with the change was that we were concerned about how Thursday and Friday were going to be spent, since he had told me he would be out of things to do by Wednesday.  I told him that TheMIG had left messages for him to call to discuss that, and that he should call TheMIG and be prepared to itemize how the time would be spent.

This is where the conversation declined rapidly. First TheTurkey told me that he'd never said that.  He insists that he never told me that he'd have run out of things to do.  I might have believed him had he not told me that more than once, and if he had not already proven himself a highly poor communicator.  But I knew he had said it.  I could bet my life on it.  Then TheTurkey proceeds to tell me that of course there was more work to do and that I just didn't understand how things were working because (and I kid you not, this is verbatim):
"all of these details are inside my head, and there is no way you can seeeee into my head, and well....projects just ebb and flow."
(when he said this, he sort of waved his arm around like making undulating waves in the ocean, like a surfer dude).

Now, I do not doubt for one minute that projects ebb and flow duuuude (I know that on a remodel there are always unforseen items), but Turkey, you told me you were out of things to do and now suddenly you have 32 hours with worth of things to do and you are charging me by the hours, so uhhhh.....NO, that aint workin' for me.

And, I could see where this was going.  I was gonna rip this guy a new asshole, because if it isn't coming across clear enough in my retelling of this story, what has also been going on here between TheTurkey and I was that he was treating me like the stupid chick that shows up at the autoshop and doesn't know where her dipstick is and is about to get screwed royally by her mechanic.
Except that I know where the dipstick is, muthah fuckahhhh.

So I was standing there, listening to him ramble on about what it is that he was going to do for the other 2 days, and most of it were things I was not real clear would take that amount of time.  And I was tired.  And emotionally rubbed raw from the whole host of other things going on in my life.  And so I come to my senses quite quickly and realize that I should not have even come to the jobsite, and I tell TheTurkey, "Look. I did not want to have this conversation with you. I am stressed.  TheMIG texted you to discuss this with you, and you did not return his call. He also left you a note. I am leaving now.  I will call TheMIG and have him go over this with you."

I said it with a level of civility that I was so impressed with that, I shit you not, I practically pat myself on the back and gave myself a gold star.  Yay me! I left!  I did not escalate!  I did not start an argument! I recognized my limits! I took care of myself by asking for help!  I am walking away from drama!! Yay me!!!!!

Until TheTurkey followed me out to my car.  So I reiterated, "I do not want to discuss this with you. I am stressed. I will have TheMIG call you."    Assertively, I said that!  Not yelling!  Just holding my boundaries! Yay me!!! I rock!!!!   And so I get in my car and shut the door.   I call TheMIG to relay the situation and to have him call TheTurkey.  TheTurkey comes back to my car, and pulls open my car door and starts shoving his phone in my face to show me that he did not see a text from TheMIG to call him.  I respond by telling him that I was not going to look at his phone, but even if he didn't get a text, he was left a note to call TheMIG, and all of this was done because I did not want to have this discussion with him in the first place, and that once again, I was stressed, and that I was leaving, and that TheMIG would call him in a few minutes.

Irritated, I was. Clearly. But not enraged.  And quite proud of myself for holding my ground but not blowing my top. And I pulled shut my car door and wrapped up my call with TheMIG.

But as I was driving off to leave, TheTurkey was circling my car and preventing me from leaving.  He finally walked towards the front of the car again waving his arms around the whole time, but because he was out of my way, I was able to back out and leave.

Oy.

So TheMIG tries to get a hold of him, and cannot get an answer for quite some time.  They finally have a brief chat and they agree to have a discussion later that evening.  That night they end up having an hour long discussion about the day and what happened.  They talk about how the two mystery work days in question are going to be spent (and every time TheTurkey lists what he is going tor work on for those two days, the list changes...odd, that).  It is during this time that TheTurkey is saying things like, "You guys shot me today!" over and over,  and TheTurkey is also telling TheMIG that I attacked him (?!!).    (yah, that's what I was doing...attacking him...as I was fleeing the scene and trying to get him to let go of my car door. hmm!)

 It as at about 45 minutes into this phone conversation where TheMIG is trying to resolve things, that TheTurkey says, "...so whoever does your cabinet install should..."   and TheMIG says, "What?!?!"  and TheTurkey says, "Oh I guess I haven't make myself clear. I am no longer going to work on this job,"  and mind you the whole 45 minutes worth of conversation prior to that comment, he has never said a thing about walking off the job.

Clearly TheTurkey had made his mind up about quitting much earlier in the day. In fact, at some point (probably immediately after blocking my car in),  we have learned that he was down at the city offices trying to get himself taken off of the building permits.  He was also clearing out everything he had onsite as far as tools and equipment, and it was gone by the time TheMIG had even had a chance to phone him to discuss anything!

Yah, well.  Goodbye.  Good riddance.

Except that you Turkey you, you have left us with a huge hot mess to deal with, and we have been cleaning it up for weeks.  
 And that is another part of the story, and I dont know if it is one I will ever tell or not, because a) you all know how I am about finishing posts that I promise, and b) I might just choose to forget the last two weeks in an effort to move forward.


So for now, I am signing off. This is your ContractorAttacker "shooting you" a good night ;-)


(and  PS, yes...you can bet your bippy I will be rating him poorly on Angie's List where we found him. I'll be filing complaints in a few other places, too.  I'm just waiting until the kitchen is done, because at the very least, TheTurkey has agreed to speak with the incoming contractor to explain where things were left off, and I don't want to screw that up as it might be useful. But when we're done?  Watch the frack out!)