knit....knit like the wind

My last post about knitting was about a month or so ago, and I've had a whole lot of fiber activity going on since then (well, a whole lot for me, at least).

Most of it was done while listening to Brenda Dayne's podcast, Cast-On.

A few weeks ago, Franklin noted on his blog that he would be a guest host for an episode. I was immediately bummed, as I dont have an ipod, but I clicked on the link anyhow so I could rub salt in my lack-of-material-things wound. When I got there, I found out that you dont need an ipod to listen to a podcast. Hoorah!

So the past few weeks I've been downloading back episodes and listening to them here and there. It's absolutely the coolest thing ever. Podcasts are like listening to a radio show (but you get to pick the topic, so in my case, so far...knitting!). I can listen to it "on-demand," playing it back when I want to. I don't need to remember to set a timer to record it. It's like an audiobook, only free....and I dont need to remember to return it, either.

I'd say that Cast-On is basically like an audio knitting magazine with music. It's made knitting alone when I don't neccessarily want to be alone not so lonely (if that makes any sense). And it's made it alot easier to put down the knitting so that I can tend to other chores.
I can listen to a podcast about knitting and organize things like this:

and still feel like I'm at least engaged in knitting while I'm stuck doing the poopy chore (nobody get used to this chore business, though--I much prefer to be knitting while I listen to a knitting podcast, thank you very much).

Pretty lame of me for not taking a before picture...sorry. Must be my very embarrassed subconsious trying to hide from you the nightmare that used to live in that drawer. And no, the rest of my house is not this organized..trust me.

So Thank You Brenda! Love your show :-)

She links to other knitting podcasts on her blog. I haven't listened to any others yet because I'm still catching up on the back episodes of Cast-On, but I have bookmarked a couple for when I run out and get lonely. Next in my queue to check out is KnitCast.
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Knitting Show and Tell

I’ve got more than I can cram into one post without driving us all nuts: A few FO’s (aka "finished objects" for the non-knitter contingency), some new stuff went on the needles, some other stuff is still stuck on my needles, I reclaimed/recycled some yarn, did some swatching, and made several new acquisitions to the stash and my knitting library.

I’m going to show you the FO’s and just one (of the many) new purchases. Hopefully I'll share the rest later in another post. You know. Later.
Like that dance post. Ugh.

Ok. Here we go.
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FO's

Dishcloths
Alrighty. So after my last knitting entry, I finished that little dishcloth we all talked about.

And then I made two more to keep it company.

(yarn: Lily Sugar & Cream)
I love these even more than I did the last time I prattled on about them. Everyone I have time to knit these for is getting them as holiday gifts in a little basket with some handmade soap.
I'm on a mission.
I might even make the soap myself. I've been wanting to try that out for awhile. But no promises (I need another project right now like I need a hole in my head).
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Fingerless Gloves
Then I knit up (and more importantly, seamed up) the companion fingerless glove.

(Koigu-KPPPM)...photo compliments of MyFK
I love these. They fit great. They keep that part of my arm warm that has all the plates and screws in it. One little problem though....I can't wear them while knitting with double pointed needles. The opposite ends of my pointy sticks get stuck in the palm of my knit covered hand. I have to roll the glove up my arm and wear it like a wrist warmer. No biggey, but I can see more knitted cuffs on my horizon.

The lesson I learned with this project:KNIT IN THE ROUND WHEREVER POSSIBLE.

The designer wrote the pattern for these to be knitted flat. I assume it was designed flat so as to not scare off newbie knitters who are intimidated by more than two pointy sticks. Looking at the pattern, there is not one good reason for them not to be in the round.

This is the second time I have knit something flat before realizing how totally lame the pattern is (given I'm able to knit socks, and look at the writstwarmers, I mean, basically socks with no heel or toe...duh). I'm such a space cadet that I didn't figure it out until I was at the thumb gusset, and was really cursing myself once I finished the first one and started seaming up it's 90-something little rows. I almost said "screw it" and knit the second one in the round, but I'm anal about things matching, so I submitted myself to torture again on the second one by knitting it flat, too.

I think I've finally learned my lesson about converting things to the round wherever possible. I don't mind seaming so much, and in fact, I'm surprisingly good at it. But I have a bad habit of finishing the knitting of an item and then letting it sit unseamed for a weeks, and I just hate that. It's my version of second sock syndrome.
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Latifa
The next thing I finished was Latifa.

(Elsbeth Lavold, Silky Wool & Silky Tweed...Koigu KPPPM ruffles)
I was about six color blocks into this scarf when it starting calling my best friend's name, even though I'd intended it to be mine when I cast-on. Her birthday is next week, but I gave it to her early because it really is a "just because" gift rather than a "birthday gift". It looks great on her. She's tall, and it's long, and she has this super curly/spirally hair that totally plays off the ruffles.
But let me tell you a little bit about Latifa.
Gorgeous.
Love her.
I love the colors, the way the soft curve of the ruffles plays off the linear garter stitch. It's really a nice scarf.
However.

This Latifa I made has:
750 rows of just garter stitch (for the non-knitter, read as = meditative, but very boring).
108 ends to weave in.
2772 increases to be made, one after the other (K1FB).
3729 stitches to bind off.
(see, this is why knitting should be taught in school...when you have that much time with repetitive knitting, you can do algebra while you knit)

It was tedious.
And it was hard on my bum writst.
And it came out so nicely, I'd would not avoid doing it again.
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More Fingerless Gloves
The next thing off my needles were some fingerless gloves to go with Latifa, using the left-over yarn.



My own design, if you could even call it that. Honestly, they really are quite the silly little things. Just a garter stitch square sewn up leaving a hole in it where the thumb goes. Then I picked up around the edge and knit the double ruffle that matches the scarf. I made them so they could be worn like a glove or turned around and worn like a little cuff poking out of the sleeve (nothing as nifty as Mrs.Beeton, but that's where the inspiration came from). Try to ignore the fact they clearly dont work with a red sweater. I know that.

It turns out that they fit me great (how thoughtful of me), but are a wee bit too small for the recipient. I offered to reknit them, but she admitted (thankfully--what a waste that would have been) that she's not sure she'd wear them anyhow. She's not a glove person. So they’re mine, I guess....although this shade of green is not my color (it's hers) and there is still that little issue with not being able to wear them while knitting with dpn's. Maybe I'll just keep them for by the computer or something.
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ShoppingShoppingShopping

I've been a bad girl.
Teehee.

I had an unexpected influx of cash from 4 different sources. FOUR. Seeings that I'm already really entrenched in the noodle soup routine, I figured why not just buy knitting stuff instead of steak. Go figure.
(To tell you the truth, the noodle soups are great. I add steamed veggies and baked tofu. With all the rain we've been having, cozying up with a bowl of this stuff while reading the book I bought with the $ I saved has been workin' just fine by me)

But like I said, influx o' cash.

The very first thing I did was visit Carol's etsy shop, Black Bunny Fibers. Didn't even waste a minute. I'd been eyeing her hand dyed yarns for a few weeks, but every time I was about to buy something, it would be gone before I could do anything about it. The morning after some money landed in my lap I went straight to her shop...saw it, loved it, bought it...so fast she didn't even have time to blog about it. I remember that she described the yarn as periwinkle and plum, and added that the photo was doing capturing the yarn color and justice. I can't get a decent picture of it either, actually. Poo.

(added: I just noticed that the etsy shop has a link you can click so that you can see what you've been missing...pics of items sold along with their descriptions. Congrats, Carol--you've been a busy gal over there!)

Anyhow, here's the best my camera would allow.... one with flash, one without flash, one in daylight...none of them really capture the color, though.

and here it is swatched up.....

The yarn was listed as fingering weight, but this swatch is on US#6 at 5.25 st to the 1", and I'm liking the drape I'm getting. I'm thinking it's feeling closer to a sport weight. It's very soft and yummy and wonderful to knit with.

I was pretty sure I was going to makes something like Ella (from Knitty) out of it. And I may still do that. I love the shape of that shawl. Then I was kind of eyeing the concept of Convertible.

But now that I've swatched the yarn, it is totally screaming baby sweater. Or maybe baby blanket. Except I don't have anyone with a baby (or anyone expecting) in my life right now. So I dunno. I'm going to sleep on it for a day or two. I am sure inspiration will strike. It always does.

(just added more: I've been emailing with Carol, and apparently there was a small mix-up and this yarn is more than likely a sport weight and not the fingering weight she thought it was. She's kindly offered to correct the situation...but I actually like the yarn a lot and cant wait to see what it wants to be when it grows up!)

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That's it from me for now. MyFK is out of school this week for spring break, so I'm ultra-busy on mommy-duty.

100 years ago today, 5:12am

…was the Great 1906 San Francisco Earthquake and Fire.




Every year around this time (but especially this year, being the centennial), the local news programming airs historical perspectives. Then after they take us on a trip down memory lane, they launch into the earthquake preparedness schpeel, because well…we are pretty much waiting for next “big one” out here.

Today I went and checked my stash of earthquake supplies…water, radio, canned food, sterno, etc etc….and guess what I added to it.

A couple of skeins of Sugar & Cream cotton and some knitting needles.

Hey.
Don't laugh.
I’m figuring I’m going to be mighty stressed already, so why make it worse by not having stash around.

At least I can knit a dishcloth or two.

treespirit project

Ooooooooooooooo lookie lookie.........

I was leaving dance class Thursday night when I saw the cover of April's Common Ground magazine.

Please check out the artist's website...the images are stunningly beautiful.

Tea Tree Tangle, Jack Gescheidt

I'm drawn to the images out in full blown nature, but I'm finding myself having those wonderful unsettled reactions to the shots of naked bodies in the city trees, too.

Ficus Friends, jack Gescheidt
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If you will be in the SF Bay Area, there's an upcoming opportunity to work with the artist:

Doff Your Duds and Hug a Tree
You can participate in the world's biggest TreeSpirit photo, which will be staged in Marin, on Sunday, April 23rd from 2-5pm. At least 100 participants are expected and all body types, sizes, ages, races, and physical ablilities are appreciated. For details, contact jack Gescheidt at: jack@treespiritproject.com. TreeSpirit photographs are on display at the Frantoio restaurant in Mill Valley (frantoio.com) through April 30. For more information, visit TreeSpiritProject.com


I'm super bummed I cant participate in this. It's a busy day for me...our dance studio has the Dance-a-Rama event for National Dance Week, plus I am in the weekend long interview for a slot in Axis Dance Company. I've emailed Jack and asked to be added to his mailing list, though!

look ma...no clouds

What a day yesterday.
Sunshine.
Finally.
And this time, I knew where my sunglasses were.
I think it's supposed to rain most of the weekend again, though...poo.

I took a bunch of my knitted FO's (finished objects) and new yarn purchases outside for a photo shoot under natural light, and I'll get those posted soon.

But not right now.
Gotta go.

Busy day of rehearsing with Dandelion Dancetheater. Five hours on-site at the location where the performances will take place this summer in San Francisco (which means Friday commute traffic in and out of TheCity, both directions. Lovely).
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(not a view from my house, btw...I wish)

dance calendar (finally)

Ok, well...it's only half the calendar.
But still, it's better than nothing.
The rain has stopped for a bit, and I see sunlight outside, so I'm out of here.

This is Dance Calendar-Part One, which contains dates of specific events and showings that I am involved with.
Part Two will have detailed listings of events for Dandelion Dancetheater and Axis Dance Company, as they both have a whooooole lotta stuff going on.
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DANCE ANYWHERE
Firday, April 21st at 12-noon (pdt)
A Kick-Off Event for National Dance Week

A calling for dancers to break out into movement, all at the same time, everywhere.

"Want to dance? You are invited to dance anywhere you choose...a simple phrase / an improvisation / a choreographed dance...anywhere: a street corner / a park / an office / a school"

If you like to dance, please get out there and do yer thang. If you know other people that like to dance, please link them to this invitation. If you aren't into dancing yourself but like to watch dance performances, see who has rsvp'd and go check them out.

note: As it turns out, I have dance rehearsal with Dandelion Dancetheater that day starting at 12-noon. I've asked the director if our "warm-up" can be a structured improv outside. I also asked him to understand that if a group dance isnt going to pan out, that I'll be doing a solo and coming to rehearsal 15 minutes late. From the rsvp list, it looks like we're dancing! Yay! We will be up in the College/Claremont area near Shawl-Anderson Dance Center in Berkeley, and it looks like we will be in the in the company of many. Can't wait!
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NATIONAL DANCE WEEK
April 21 - April 30
A Week of Free Dance Classes and Performances

In the Bay Area I think we are well over 2,000 events/classes listed. Check here for details.

My co-teacher, the lovely Karen, will be representing our class by performing a solo bellydance as part of Dance-A-Rama (a collective peformance with other artists in our complex). Dance-a-Rama is Sunday, April 23rd from 1pm-5pm. Karen will be performing in the 1pm-2pm time slot. Also performing that day in the 4pm-5pm slot is The Deborah Parker Ensemble, who will do an encore performance of a piece chorepgraphed in honor on my late teacher, Jamie Miller. Click here for details....scroll down to East Bay/Terrain/ Dance-a-Rama

The class I co-teach will be offering a free bellydance class Thursday, April 27th at 7:45pm.
Click here for details...scroll down to East Bay/Berkeley Moving Arts/Bellydance From The Inside Out
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JEWISH CULTURE AND HISTORY SERIES
Wednesday, May 3 at 7:30pm (free)
An Evening of Contemporary Jewish Dance/Theater

Cal State University, East Bay
258000 Carlos Bee Blvd, Hayward, CA

Performance and Discussion:
Dandelion Dancetheater, Deborah Slater Dance Theater, Ellen Bromberg, Nancy Karp + Dancers, Nina Haft & Company, special guests

note: I'll be performing with Dandelion Dancetheater

knitted ark

Does anyone out there know which knitting book it was that had the knitted boat??
It was really just a little bowl shaped thing, and I would guess it was a project that included felting.

I think I might need to cast on.

Last time I wrote about the weather, I was reporting March rain stats.
In March, it rained 25 out of 31 days here.
As of today, April 12th, it has rained 11 out of 12 days.
More rain is expected.
Mudslides, floodwatches and small creek advisories, homes being yellow or red tagged for evacuation. An elderly man gone missing this morning when the hillside behind his house came down. They're digging for him now with 5-gallon buckets.

Here's how one of my pupperdoodles spent the one sunny day in April.

I have a permanent pile of muddied towels near the back door for wiping muddy puppy toes every time the dogs come in from potty excursions (the one above is Roxy, her sister is Lily). Even when it stops raining my backyard is a mudpit. The topsoil has washed away, the clay underneath has become this tarry black substance that sticks between the dog toes. I should put up a ring and set the place up for mud wrestling.

I spent that one sunny day looking for my sunglasses, which of course, I didn't find until it started getting overcast again. I also spent most of the day feeling like I was walking on the moon or something....I hadn't seen shadows in so long that once the sun came out to create them it added this surreal feeling of depth and texture to the environment. The sun felt so good I actually almost wept.

I know this still isn't the dance calendar.
But I'm feeling too poopy and seasonally affected to get that assembled and posted.

I am getting a whole lot of knitting done, though....some of which I can post about, but most of which I can't. Most of what is on my needles is super-secret birthday stuff for all of the April and June folks in my life. But I'll take some pics before I wrap the gifts and show you later, after I give them ;-)

(not the dance) links

Just before sleep last night, TheMIG told me that he'd heard a discussion on the radio about a program that had aired the night before on one of the major TV networks. He said that sometime (this past week--missed it, dang it) they'd aired a program about folks who "wanna-be" amputees. We agreed to see if we could find a link to the show this morning.

A good dance buddy of mine just emailed it to me, saving me some google-time.

What drives people to want to be amputees?

I'm not in the mood the say anything more about this really. I've done some of that in other posts. This discussion usually makes me pretty flippin' emotional. I'll just point out two quotes.

Reading this literally gave me a huge full body shudder:
"When these people see an amputee, they see … a person of strength being able to overcome hardship, someone to be admired," First said.

And reading this gave me the rocks-in-the-tummy feeling:
For a man remarkably at home in his wheelchair, there is a hint of regret. There are places the wheelchair can't take him, like to the beach to feel the sand under his feet.
"It's all those little things, like that," Karl said. "What the hell was I thinking?"
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A few weeks ago, another dance friend sent me a link to this:
Whole: A Documentary
Haven't seen it.
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Ok. I lied. I guess I actually do I have one thing to say about this.
I'm just kinda sitting here wondering how the heck the health insurance business deals with this. TheMIG pointed out that the ABC article is referring to folks in countries such as France, where healthcare coverage is probably vastly different than what we have here in the USA.

My amputation has drained me financially (understatement), and mine was "covered". Maybe while good ol' Karl is (not) running his toes through the sand, he is also pondering how he's going to pay his medical bills.

Dance links coming soon.

private place (dance post number two)

I’ve been dilly dallying in responding to Jodi’s comment regarding this post from over a month ago:
When you say that you improvise movements in response to ideas, I can't really get my head around that at all.

It turns out that, boiled down to it's essence, there is a really simple way to explain this movement concept....but to understand the succinct explanation, I think one also needs the longer detailed version.

And because I am who I am, I of course have to offer both versions.
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The day after I got Jodi's comment, it was time for our weekly bellydance class. That night, after class, a few of us embarked on the tradition of going to Lenny’s (which is really “Denny’s," but Lenny's refers to a joke from an old TV commercial and probably dates us big time). Anyhow, Lenny’s is the only place open that late in our area. We don’t do this every week, but when we do go there to catch up, there are usually four of us. There is myself, my co-teacher Karen (who recently de-lurked), Michelle (who used to co-teach with Karen and I, is on hiatus as a formal teacher, but still comes to class and contributes), and Sharon (who has been a special guest teacher, and is a highly accomplished dancer/performer/teacher, which is putting it lightly).

Sitting there at the diner looking around the table, I had this idea to ask each one of us to state the number of years that we’d been dancing. Between the four of us, we exceeded One Hundred Years of combined dance experience.

Given that total, you’d think we’d be able to put our heads together and come up with a pat response to Jodi’s comment. But no dice. We all had thoughts, but I dont recall we ever came up with a firm definition that would explain this segment of the work we do.

I thought for sure Karen would come up with something useful for Jodi because aside from being a talented dancer/performer, she is also a talented artist/painter.

I rolled out of Lenny’s (by rolled I mean: it's midnight and I have belly full of cheesyfries and rootbeer float, so maybe I didn’t retain details well), and I tool the mental notes from that night and came up with my "boiled down to the essence" description of this movement concept:
Private Place work is a tool for transitioning from ordinary life into a place ripe for creative-work, and is also a tool for grounding yourself.
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Here's the long explanation.

This is my definition of the dance technique we use called "Private Place". I’m going to give some examples of how it has worked for ME, but it may work with my other troupe members and students differently.

Private Place is basically a guided imagery meditation. Like many tools I have in my dance toolbox, I learned this from my bellydance teacher, Jamie Miller. If a student of Jamie’s was preparing for a solo performance, it was basically a given that you would have at least one (if not more) private lesson with her as part of your rehearsal process. Usually one session included Private Place work. If we were working on a troupe piece, we would usually do Private Place together. I don’t know how Jamie managed to both lead the process and simultaneously participate in the process (guiding herself to find her own Private Place), but when we do it in our class today, the person doing the guiding usually gets at turn to be led through the process separately, at a later time.

Ok. So here's how we do it. The dancer lies down in an open space (with a little room to move), and is first guided through some sort of physical relaxation process (imagining each body part filling with sand and becoming heavy is a popular one). The leader then uses really open dialog to encourage the dancer to let their mind open/wander to a “place”. By open dialog, what I mean is that if I’m leading I’m going to try not to say any words that “suggest” where the dancer will go. I keep the language so that it's not specific and riddled with details. I dont want to constrict the possibilites by saying, "You are going to a private place on a beach near a mountain, it is cold...blah blah blah." I know we have at least one student that picks where they are going before they even close their eyes…but in my opinion, that’s really not the idea. The idea is just be open to the process and just end up wherever you end up.

To give you and idea of what a “place” can be, here’s a list of a few places some of us have ended up in:
Me personally: I’ve been on the rooftop of some kind of ancient temple in a jungle. I’ve been near a waterfall. I’ve been on the very edge of an oasis with one side of my body always being next to lushness and the other side being next to the dry desert. I’ve been inside of some big dark gooey viscous blob of I-don’t-know-what. I’ve been laying on a rock in the middle of river. I’ve been in the woods where my car crashed.
I have troupe members who have been: Swimming in a lake. Laying in a rowboat on a lake. Actually being a tornado. Being a tree. Standing on the very edge of a cliff. Being and organism living in a tide-pool. Moving amongst large blobs of colors floating around them . Under a bed of decomposing leaves in a forest.

Once you find your place, then you explore it. You are then guided to explore it as deeply as possible while still within the meditative state. Noticing what is around you (again, the leader uses open dialog). Are you alone? Is there a temperature? Can you tell if there is a time of day, a season, etc. Are there any smells? I think you get the idea. As the dancer, you are basically being aware and noticing.

And once the dancer has explored a bit while laying in stillness, they are then encourage to begin to move physically about the open space, but to remain mentally and spiritually “within” their private place. Just moving around…not actually dancing (although depending on the place, I suppose that could happen). And as you explore your private place through movement, you have your private place feed your movement, and you have your movement feed your private place. The play off each other.

Once the person leading feels like there is some sort of “resolution” or full exploration of the place (which can be interesting when we are working in a group), the leader eases the dancer back into the room.

Sometimes we give the dancer something to write with to jot notes or draw images, and often we share about our experience (not required, but we usually do), both as the dancer and as the leader/witness. Sometimes the one watching sees things that the dancer may not have been aware of because they are a bit “tranced out”, so to speak. Things like a repetitive movement or gesture. Or a quality of movement.

The neatest thing about Private Place sometimes, is that of all the places you can end up in, your psyche usually does a pretty damn good job of creating a place for you that lines up exactly with current issues you are working through on a personal level. Through the weeks of rehearsing, as you use your private place to enrich your dance experience, you have an opportunity (at least this is how it works for me) to also work through your personal issues via movement. And as you work through some of your personal issues from your life outside of the dance studio, it in turn has an effect on your dance rehearsal. Your private place feeds your movement, your movement feeds your private place.

In terms of the actual rehearsal times, private place is this tool you can use, this place you can go, pretty quickly, that will ground you so you are ready to dance. Kind of the way some people meditate with a candle, and when they focus on a flame, it reminds them quickly of the calm state they’ve visited before.
Private place, in my experience, also makes the dance movements themselves really rich, for lack of a better term, and often there have been movements specifically representative of and relevant to the private place itself that actually make it into the choreography. It’s usually these choreographed movements that leave an audience member commenting that they felt there was a “story” they were discovering as part of watching the performance. For me, it’s this kind of choreography that turns bellydance from just entertainment to an art form. A vehicle for creative expression. The audience usually knows I’m trying to say “something”, and as with other arts, it is up to the viewer to find the meaning within themselves.

What private place does for a dancer on the actual performance day is also a big gift. You hit the stage, close your eyes and center yourself for even just a few seconds, and if you imagine yourself in your private place, it almost matters not at all that you are now in front of a bunch of people watching you, or that the stage isn’t the same size as your rehearsal space, or that the surface you are dancing on is different than your studio floor. I mean, those things do matter, and you do notice them, but your private place basically keeps you from tripping over details. It keeps you in the core of yourself, and with your movement. It keeps you grounded.
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I tell you who I’d REALLY like to talk to about this a student we had for a long time named Bruce. He never really wanted to bellydance. He was a piano player, and he was mostly coming to our class for the first half of our class, which is the body alignment segment. He always stayed for the second half of class though and danced, and I what I remember was him talking about how Private Place work was feeding his playing piano playing.

Karen also offered up some additional information. She feels like Private Place is similar to when she walks into her studio to paint, she starts by drawing in a sketchbook as a way to make a transition and get grounded.

Maybe it’s like the way a knitter settles into a nice long chunk of knitting time, when we have those. Maybe it’s like deciding to create a knitted garment. You get a deep detailed image of what you want to create, and then every time you work on the your project, you have the image of the finished item in your mind, and it is with you as you work.
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Hope that helps.
I'm actually off to dance class, it's Thursday Night!

comments on comments

I'm actually sitting here working on the dance post about Private Place work (no, really--I am), but I just have to say something about the comments lately, because y'all are cracking me up.

Number One--I cannot believe that out of all the months spent lurking on this blog, that my beloved co-teacher Karen (who not only dances, but knits), comes out of hiding not to comment about the dancing or the knitting...but about the tiny little ice-creams. Hahahaha. HILARIOUS.

Number Two--Sara. You know, last night I was reading that new book I bought, and the entire first chapter is about what makes a knitter versus a non-knitter...and I thought about you several times over. Especially the excuses you come up with for not knitting (you coveter of kitty hats). That made it really funny to wake up and see your comments from yesterday. So if you ever get your hands on the book, just go read the examination of a non-knitter part and get back to me. Then I'll either send you some needles and yarn or a completed kitty hat. It's your call ;-)

You also wrote about my being "naughty (knotty?)", and shortly after reading that, I was doing my morning internet trolling and I ended up at The Panopticon (Franklin's the guy I bought the Venus de Knitting shirt from). His most recent post is "Knaughty" and he has a new shirt that I. Must. Have. (after I finish these noodle bowls). Being a core member The Undressed Project who sometimes knits betweens sets at rehearsals, it's basically a must have.

Oh...and I haven't actually "met" Annie Chun "in person" yet. This is my first time inviting her over. We're having lunch together today. Heehee.

addict

The things an addict will do for a rush are fairly pathetic.

Especially this knitting addict.

I went to my favorite LocalYarnStore (Skein Lane) today for the little workshop thing I love to go to whenever I can (they let me pay as a drop-in). So I figured that if I was going to "window shop" (*ahem*) while in the store, looking at the knitting books was probably a safer bet than fondling the wall of sock yarn (which of course, I also did anyway). I have no dinero to put towards any kind of knitting anything right now...and no, not even a certain paperback book, I'm embarrassed to say.

So like I said, usually the books are the safe bet.
Except the little devil on my shoulder was whispering in my ear that I needed to try to find Stephanie Pearl-McPhee's new book Knitting Rules! (just to look, you know)....and the angel on the other shoulder was wiping her foreheard in relief when I couldn't find a copy.

So I went to the counter to pay for the drop-in class, and damn...
Wouldn't you know it.
The last copy was out the counter.

Which clearly I couldn't resist.

No matter how hard I tried (which obvioulsy wasn't very hard).

the lovely floral fabric background is a gorgeous scarf one of my dance students, Judy, passed along to me last week...LOVE IT. It's been a scarf, a shawl, a hip scarf sarong thing, a something to lay down on, and now the background for a photo shoot.

My next stop after the yarn store, was at TraderJoe's for less important things like (*ahem*) FOOD, and I couldn't even get out of my car without first sitting and reading the entire chapter on socks.

THEN I finally go in and buy all the little special foods my picky eater needs to be happy, and a little something for myself. My dinner for the rest of the week:

Cup O'Noodles, basically (if you can't make that out or it's unfamilar to you).

Sheesh.

--------------------------------
for those concerned, by the way...I'm exaggerating....a little bit. ;-)

cute alert

Looky what I found this weekend:




















It even came with the little plastic spoon.
Probably not the best deal (price per ounce), but I'm hoping the portion size will stunt the "secretary spread" I've developed over the past year.

And it's just. Cute.

Except now I need to knit mini-cozy/snood-thingys.

first of the dance posts

Welcome to my “This is Not a Review of the Rakkasah” Review....
which is really just a few notes about what I found interesting there this year.
---------------

WHAT THE HECK IS A RAKKASAH ?!?
So for the uninitiated, the Rakkasah is the largest bellydance festival in the United States (actually, if the claim is true, which it probably is, it's the biggest bellydance festival in the world). It's always held right around the Spring Equiniox (so it came and went last weekend). And it just so happens that it's held right here in the San Francisco Bay Area (East)…which is my 'hood.

It’s basically a week-long event of workshops and classes. At the end of the week, the whole shebang culminates with a 3-day festival just dripping with shopping opportunities. Two separate stages also run non-stop with bellydance performances. For those who shimmy (or want to) it's pretty much an annual pilgrimage to Bellydance Mecca.

For you knitters out there, picture something like Stitches, only a whole lot sparklier and covered with body glitter. Oh, and it's noisier. A lot noiser. Aside from the ooohs and ahhhs of ecstatic shoppers, there is music being played for the dancers to perform to, and onlookers are zagareeting (the bellydance version of “woohoo!”). There are merchants playing the cd’s and dvd’s they are selling. Other booths have people playing and selling Middle Eastern drums and zils (finger cymbals). Even most of the costumes for sale make noise, and dancers are picking things up and playing with them like kids in a candy store (and even sometimes like grabby bargain hunters on sale day at Macy's).

Here’s a picture of just one corner of the main floor, taken from the rafters.



The market/bazaar is also set up in both the upper and lower lobbies, down five separate side hallways, and into two side rooms. I’d say if you look at this picture and multipy by maybe 12 or so, that’s about what you are dealing with when you walk into the place. It’s pretty overwhelming, to tell you the truth. And it’s very easy to buy stuff you then bring home and can't figure out how to incorporate into your next costume. I personally didn't get it right until my fourth or fifth time going. Those with experience know that when you start feeling a bit nutzo and get glassy eyed, it's time to sit up in the balcony and watch everything from above for a little bit.

I didn’t buy one damn thing this year…which never happens…but that's because I actually had the “pleasure” of going broke. To tell you the truth, it actually made for an interesting day because I looked at things differently. Here's a few things that caught my eye....
------------------------------

BELLYDANCERS GET CRAFTY WITH YARN
I was completely blown away by the amount of yarn I saw going into costumes.
There was fun-fur everywhere. It was knitted or crocheted and then sewn onto things. It was tacked onto cuffs and collars. It was the fringe hanging from belts and hair ties.

A good portion of what I saw in yarn, was pretty crappy looking.
Here’s a (blurry, sorry) photo of my co-teacher holding up a belt covered in knitted fun-fur. The blur actually makes it look better than it really was...I would have felt like I was wearing a muppet if I had this thing on.



But some of it was not crap. There were a couple of extremely crafty girls at Tribal Source that really had it figured out. They were hand sewing belts out of fabric and attaching yarn fringe. Lots of ladder, ribbon, and chenille yarns, or even just wool. Some of the belts and bras were adorned with what at first glace appeared to be shells and coins...but upon closer inspection, they actually turned out to be buttons and metal washers.
And the costumes were beautiful.

Googling around on chat boards this week, I see that the tribal clan has got some awesome ideas about all kinds of trinkets to costume with:
"I was totally into making a 'mirror' belt with piece of motherboard instead of mirrors, and computer wires for yarn."
"...more chains, using recycled computer parts as sparklies (i.e., "shisha" mirrors out of old CD's), etc. Think Mad Max bellydance. :)"

YARN AS HAIR
The other place I saw alot of yarn was in people's hair. Lots of "hair extensions" and "falls" made out of yarn. Basically what's going on is that people are attaching different kinds of yarns to hair ties, clips, and barettes. Some folks then braided the yarn or tied in beads and baubles, etc.

Now, I guess this has been around for awhile, especially in the world of tribal-style bellydance, and that must be why I missed the boat. I'm not tribal.

<--there's me in one of my costumes (old photo/two legs)

there's some ladies in their tribal costumes (or one version of tribal, at least), including the yarn hair falls-->

Now, like I said, I love the concept. Given the right yarn and dingle-dangles to tie on them, and some artistic flair, I think that yarn hair accessories have real potential for endless self entertainment.

In my not so distant past, I've had blonde streaks in my hair that I could dye over in different colors like purple an red. And although I'm itching to have my funky hair colors back, my life doesn't permit me to do have something that permanent right now...so I'm enthralled with the notion of tying in something like my left over wine colored Koigu.

Unfortunately 90% of what I saw out there in this category scared me to death...

...or lacked proper execution.

(I know it looks like I kidnapped this woman and have her bound and gagged with duct tape, but I swear this is my compasstionate attempt to protect the poor soul's anonymity)

And guess what?!! You can even make a hair fall that is felted "dread locks".

I know, I picked out something ugly to show you...like I said, given the right yarn, this could actually be some big time fun.
-------------------------------

BIGGEST FASION TREND:
Bell bottom jazz pants are all the rage in the bellydance world.

I think these are awesome, and would wear them for practicing in dance class even though I'd lose half my swish (because I dance one legged and would consider lopping a pant leg off so as not to get tangled up in it). I might even wear these pants as an acutal costume piece under a skirt instead of harem pants.
I saw someone perform in them just with no overskirt though, just a coin belt hip scarf (like above), and I didn’t like the way it worked for the performance setting.

One of the things that makes bellydance appear the way it does is that there is a whole lot going on with the knees that the public just doesn’t need to know about. It's mysteeeeeeerious. And sometimes unattractive. Our skrits and harem pants keep all of that underwraps. Jazz pants do not. Great for class though, because it definitely helps to see legs while you are learning.
---------------------------

BEST BUSINESS NAME:
Has to go to Uberkuchi.
I realize they mean "Kuchi" and not "coochie"...but when you put an Uber in front of it...well, my mind just goes where it goes. Their logo gave me a huge giggle, and if I would have had money to spend on one thing at the show this year, I would have bought one of their t-shirts.

----------------------------------

THINGS I SADLY MISSED

Maybe I just missed them in all the chaos, but I think maybe they've just moved on:

Saroyan Mastercrafts and the best zils on the planet, Gilded Serpent Magazine (second year on the blacksheep list?), Mary Ellen Donald and her drumming tapes/cd's (not to mention her wonderful presence), Dalia Carella and her booth companion that made her gorgeous costumes, Delilah and the opportunity to fantasize about dancing under a waterfall in Hawaii during one of her workshops, and Hahbi'ru (if they were on the bill, I missed them...darn).

----------------------------------

THE MOST DISTURBING PERFORMANCE TREND:

edit to this blog post: I just discovered that the Rakkasah organizers have issued a formal apology for one of the performances I'm about to describe

Ok, now this is indirect feedback. It comes from my best friend, and at one time co-dance teacher. I went on Saturday she went on Sunday.

She was watching peformances on the main stage with her daughters, one of whom is in 1st grade. A troupe came out wearing skirts that were about 4-inches long in the front, about 6-inches in the back. Apparently they were talented, which is grand...but at one point buff male bellydancers came out donning their version of the mini skirt, faced the girls, butt to audience, and the girls jumped onto the guys, wrapped their legs around the guys' waists and gyrated on them, and then writhed in and out of backbends. Apparently 5 or so families with kids in the audience fled the building. And that's the part that bugs me.

So my friend left and took her daughter over to the smaller Cabaret Stage, where two women were doing a "sword dance" with the addition of modern dance and dramatic theater mixed into the bellydance medium. Grand again. Until they staged a fight about something, had a fencing match, and one of them ceremoniously sliced the other's throat. Two male bellydancers came onstage to drag their dead "bloodied" bodies away. Families with kids fled. And that's the part that bugs me.

So my friend takes a break, probably to debrief her daughter, and eventually makes her way back to main stage to watch Suhaila Dance Company. I love Suhaila's dancing. True artist and entertainer, ALWAYS pushes the creative envelope, precise skilled execution of movement, and very sexy...but professional. I guess during this performance piece, at one point she has a guy come out with an electric guitar and she performs a solo to his hard rock guitar....and a good porotion of the solo is spent with her playing with this guy's hair and stroking him. More than likely, Suhaila was not obscene...I have hunch my girlfriend just had the last straw at that point. But at least one more family fled, because my friend's sure did. And that's the part that bugs me.

Now, I wasn't even there on Sunday. I have no idea how accurate of a description I am giving, so please dont blast me if you are googling around and end up here. I'm not here to critique the dancing. My point is not about what was ON the stage, but rather about what was happening as an audience experience. At least one family (and probably more), with young children had several experiences of feeling like this year's Rakkasah was not a family venue. And it's always been a family venue. And I am disappointed.

I dont believe the Rakkasah organizers have ever issued a statment about what you can or cannot do during your dance. And I hope they dont ever have to. I'm a big fan of creative freedom. I just wish dancers would consider who their audience is when they choreograph. I'm not saying you shouldnt be allowed to explore your choreographic options, just consider saving the more risque performances for other venues. I've seen bellydance used as a medium to choreograph peices about anger and rage and violence and sex...my teacher did groundbreaking work using bellydance in that way herself (so have her troupe members)....but it was always peformed in a concert setting. Not a festival venue.

The other thing that occurred to me is (and I know I'm going to get shit for even pointing this out, but...it's just making me think, that's all...) all of these acts do share one common theme: there were men in them. And some of them weren't dancers. They were "props."

Now hush, y'all. I have seen many a male bellydancer. Professionals and amateurs. There are several out there that are completely talented and have totally rocked my world. My own dance teacher's teacher was a male bellydancer (the one and only Roman (Bert) Balladine, who I consider my Bellydance GrandPapa), and I've studied with him on several occasions. I have taught a male student in my own class, as well.

I just think it is interesting that as more male dancers enter the into the current stream of modern bellydance, that there is an increase of this dance form being used to portray sex and voilence. I have no idea if there is a connection or not, if what I'm observing is merely a coincidence, and honestly, I haven't formed any opinions (yet). To tell you the truth, I am willing to bet that the bulk of the choreography in these questionable dances were created by women, not by men. And so what is that saying? For me, it's giving me some food for thought.

One of the things that I truly adore about bellydance is it's rich and multifaceted history. In ages past, women and men bellydanced together to celebrate the harvest and fertility. Women of the harem used it as a way to entertain each other during long hours of seclusion, not just dances for a sultan. There is a lot of joy, and ritual, and comradeship in this danceform. I have spent way too many years trying to explain this to people who think that bellydance is one step away from doing a striptease (and I think stripping can be an art, too...but bellydance is not intended to be a striptease, and several in the bellydance community have tried to correct the misconception so that it can viewed for what it is--an art form). I understand that one way the message got there is because early performance venues (at least here in SF in the 60's) were at places like "Bimbo's" and "The ChiChi Club". I get it. But I think today, decades later, it's hard to change the message when some of us are prancing around in 4-inch skirts doing clothed versions of live sex shows.

--------------------------------

THE MOST MOVING PERFORMANCE:

Here's who gets to dance on stage at the Rakkasah:

anyone!

The performance slots are filled on a first come/first served basis that takes place one fine Sunday morning in January when we all dial in by phone for hours, waiting to be the lucky ones to get a ring instead of a busy signal. Our troupe didn’t get a slot this year, but we usually do. Because the dance slots are filled lottery style, you get to see alllllll sorts of styles of bellydancing and different skill levels. It's really neat.

After 12 years of going to Rakkasah, I will never in my life forget this story. One year our troupe was getting ready in the shared dressing room backstage and this reallllly nerdy girl with very thick eye distorting glasses asks one us in this very nasal mousy voice if her rouge looked okay. After we danced, I made my way to the audience to watch for awhile, and out came our backstage friend, who took center stage, eyes closed (sans glasses), and the music started...Phantom of the Opera's "Music of the Night." She performed the most gorgeous double veil routine that I have ever seen anywhere. She looked like a goddess. It was very emotive, and my hair is standing up on my arms right now just thinking about it years later. I ran into her later that day while shopping and told her how wonderful it was, and she nudged her glasses back onto her nose and kind of squeeked out a little "thank you."

Anyhow. Sorry. I digress. The most moving performance I saw this year, on Saturday, was the esteemed Suhaila Salimpour dancing with both her daughter and her mother as part of the performance with Bal Anat (yes, the same Suhaila that twiddled her rockstar guitar dude).

Suhaila's daughter (I'm sorry, I dont know her name) is probably 7 or 8 by now, I'm guessing. We've seen her onstage almost every year since she could walk...it's been fun watching the progression. This year she wasn't her usual shy thing....she came out of the ranks of Troupe Bal Anat and took center stage to perform solo. Then slowly her mom, Suhaila (who has also bellydanced since a baby herself) came out to join her in a duet. And then slowly her mom, the famed Jamilla Salimpour came out to join them in the matriachal line spanning three generations. And then slowly grandma left, then mom left, and the little one held center stage, in a way that for me celebrated the way this dance is passed down from generation to generation. It touched me deeply, and when I looked around, maybe people besides myself had the watery eye thing going on.

----------------------------------

There's my (very long--sheesh!) non-review of The Rakkasah....stay tuned for more about dancing in "private place" and an announcment of upcoming dance events.

in like a lion

this lion had better go out like a lamb

'Cuz I've about had it.
This past Tuesday, the report was that it has rained 22 out of 28 days here. It also rained Wednesday, Thursday, and it's supposed to rain later today, too. Personally, I don't mind the rain so much. But I'm extremely sick of "demuddifying" puppy toes several times a day.
-------------------------

I can't get the posts about dancing up because, well...I'm busy dancing. I've got time this weekend, promise.
But I've got something else to tell you.

--------------------------

I have been doing some walking without a cane on flat, even surfaces. Like safe, hospital hallways with a Physical Therapist next to me.

For the life of me, I can't imagine in my wildest fantasies that I will ever be able to be 100% cane free. I know I will get stronger and that things like this take time, but I can't even begin to imagine being without a cane on uneven surfaces, rough terrain, and things like stairs that don't have handrails. I feel like at best I'll need to carry a folding cane in a backpack in case I'm walking along and get stuck somewhere. Like someplace that isn't a shopping mall (and since I like walks in the woods far more than the mall, well...I think that means a cane is pretty much in my future).

Anyhow, even though this isn't the dancing post I promised (I feel guilty), I wanted to post today because I have some big news (well, big to me...and I know at least Sara will be jumping up and down....figuratively, if not literally):

I had a real confidence building day in PT/Gait Training yesterday. And when I left there, I was feeling a bit brazen and cocky. I just decided to walk without a cane (well, I held it in my hand, just in case...but I didn't let it touch the ground at all, and that's one small step for gimp, one giant leap for gimp-kind). And without using the cane, I went up and down the ramp in front of my house (which is steeper than ADA requirements), I walked up a moss covered slope, and I walked on and off curbs.
In the rain.
With no cane.
(The Rain In Spain Stays Mainly On The...)

And I did it by myself (my first words, my parents tell me).

Break out the band.
:-)

another snood?

strangelittlemama wrote:
The Lysol cozy, though.... um that's just plain crazy. (said the woman who knit herself an ice cream cozy!)

ummmmm....
I have no idea what you are talking about.
hahahaha














As you can see...I've knit that, too.
Two of them, in fact...both gifts for the same person (different color schemes for different ice cream eatin' moods, ya'know).
Thanks for all the looooove around the dishcloths, gang.
-------------------------

Even though I’ve got some other stuff I’d like to blog about, I’m really feeling the need to catch up on some posts about dance.

So stay tuned, the next few posts will be:
* Notes on the Rakkasah Bellydance Festival
* A response (finally) to Jodi’s question about using meditative visual imagery as a dance technique (aka “private place” work)
* An announcement of upcoming dance events

The Rakassah post will have some stuff for all the Fiber Freaks out there. Seems that one can get their knit on while getting their shimmy on and that people are getting crafty with their costuming...the fun fur was flying.

already old news

I wrote this blog post last Saturday, but didn't post it as I was planning on including it with my next knitting post.

But now it's already old news-hahaha. MissHarlot posted about the same topic today in response to a new book that's out (that I'd love to have--someday when I have $) called Mason Dixon Knitting.
------------------

in defense of…The Knitted Dishcloth.

I know.
It's a pretty silly thing to be knitting.
It's right up there with the Lysol-Can Cozy my grandmother wants me to knit for her.
Even two of my knitting friends looked at me like I was nuts....

I knit a dishcloth.

Let me remind you of why I knit a dishcloth:
* A sore arm/wrtist/hands created the need to test out if it was all knitting that was irritating me or just the small needle sizes of current projects. And the dishcloth was on 7's instead of 2's.
* I only had the coins in my change jar to spend on yarn.
* I wasn’t getting instant gratification out of any of my other works in progress.
* My "something to keep my shoulders warm in summer" thing is going to be out of a (recycled)cotton. I’ve never knit in 100% cotton before, so I thought this was a good way to give the fiber a whirl and see just how (ir)regular my stitches are (supposedly cotton isn't very forgiving).

But that’s why I knit the dishcloth.
Now let me tell you why I love the dishcloth.

* It’s like hand knit socks. Ridiculously practical and something you could buy anywhere. Except that you didn’t.
* How often do I wear something I have knit? Not nearly as often as I wash dishes, I promise you. It’s neat to have my hands on my handiwork at least three times per day.
* For $2.98 I made 3. The damn things were only $1 a piece. I’m sorry, but that’s cheaper than the sponges I usually buy, thee washcloths do a great job getting the dishes clean, and I can sanitize them with one trip to the washer (I don’t wash my sponges. Do you?). I have a hunch the washcloths will last longer than a sponge, too.
* They are coordinated with the colors of my kitchen.
* They are not going to be piled up in a landfill.
* They very fondly remind me of my great-grandma.

So pfffffffft.

oh hell no

That generator must have a giant psychic webcam eye.

Want one? go here.
------------------------
I'm not sure how many blogs and links I clicked through before ending up there, but if I've got it right, I should be crediting Rabbitch (who was really going for pirate names, but this is where I ended up...although I need to do the pirate thing and see if "peg legged" shows up in my name), who linked to KnottyMouse, who "stole" it from HockeyMom.

Wheeeeee :-)

see, i told you so

let me repeat: you really *are* at the wrong blog...
and
let me add to the list of things that I am not: I am not an expert blogger/writer, either.
(I'm more like a Jacqueline Of All Trades, Mistress of None)


DANG, I really must find a way to translate my voice of sarcasm onto the page.


I queried a few folks who know me "live and in person" who had read that last post. Knowing my conversational style and my off-color humor, they reported that when they read it they completely cracked up laughing.

(although the comments were wonderful and insightful, it seems to me that...) My online friends didn't have the same humorous reaction. And if that's the case, well then, I must really work quickly to find my writer's voice. I'm guessing that because I write so openly and honestly about certain things, that at other times it's hard to discern whether I'm being serious or a complete smart-ass. But let me warn you. My smart-ass is pretty damn big and bootylicious.

No, I will not podcast as a way of sorting this out.
I will see what I can do to be more obvious about the TeeHee part of AmpuTeeHee.
Maybe a disclaimer or something?? Something like: (note--this is where you are supposed to laugh and not take me seriously)

For the record, my last word on the topic of this phobia:
* Personally knowing people who are phobic, I do not think phobias are ridiculous.
* That being the case, I have never in my life even remotely considerred the possibility of an amputee phobia (but being that I know someone phobic of "little people", I can't rule it out).
* I honestly could give a shit if you break down in a conniption fit or go into seizures due to my presence. That is your problem, not mine...I have my own problems related to my "condition", thank you very much.
* I think you are up Shit's Creek without a spoon if you have this phobia and end up being an amputee yourself (which I find hysterically ironic in a very twisted way...kind of like my thought that the people who crave to become amputees should go clear landmines).
* And I think that the website that claims to cure all phobias might as well be selling Castor Oil as their cure. (note re: the Castor Oil---this is where you are supposed to laugh and not take me seriously)

-------------------
oh, and the visual of a page-full of gimps popping up out of the book of phobias got me so good I had to wipe coffee off my screen! ...thank you Sara!

you really *are* at the wrong blog

I’m not an expert about one single thing I blog about folks.
I am not an expert dancer, knitter, parent...or amputee.

I only have a couple of years practice at being an amputee.
I'm still at the point where I gleen some new information pretty much every single day.

Today’s lesson, is about apotemnophobia.
And the fact that, apparently, there actually is a cure.

Now, I know that people that can form phobias around just about anything. I had a very close friend who was agoraphobic. I'm truly not in judgement of people who develop phobias, not even phobics with a "fear of people with amputations". Honestly, I'm not.
You get what you get in life, and we all seem to get something.
Shit happens.
I know that better than anyone.

But until today, it has never occurred to me once, that as I go about my daily business, I might just be sending some passerby into a complete fit of anxiety.
(Sheesh. Whoops. Sorry. I didn't mean to. I swear.)

And that begs the question...what the heck do I do (if anything) if I meet you? Or we have to work together? Is there anything I can do to help or make it easier for you? And what do I do if you start to flip out?


The other big question that immediately jumped to mind today is (and I'm sorry to be morbid, but inquiring minds want to know):
What happens if you are phobic of amputees and you develop the medical need for an elective amputation yourself? I mean, what if you have this phobia and you get cancer? Or have vascular issues? Or complications related to diabetes???

My agoraphobic friend and I would just order take-out.
Somehow I dont think it's going to be quite as simple of a solution for you.

i rest

Here it is.
A few things (ok, many things) I've been wanting to say here myself, and for so very long.
I can just never get the words together well enough.
But she did.
So please.
Just. Click. Here.


I'm too moved to even comment.

knit knotes (plus thoughts on that parenting book)

Since folks keep ending up here because I knit, and since the rest of my life usually results in big blobs of text that aren't exactly photo worthy…here ya’ go.
A knitting update.
----------

I haven’t been knitting much in the past couple of weeks.
It usually takes me awhile before I notice the absence of fiber in my life, and then I need a few more days to analyze why it’s decreasing.

At first, I thought I had some lurking poopiness about not finishing the Olympics. I suspected this for two reasons:
* one, I’ve only knit 4 rows on TheOlympicShawl since the deadline passed right by me, and
* two, I had an email exchange with a knitter friend, and when I scrolled down to her signature stamp, it had the big ol’gold medal o’knitting on it.
And it bummed me out.

But I was pretty sure that the lack-of-shining-gold-glowing-upon-me-to-knit-by wasn’t what was keeping me from the needles.

So I looked at my works in progress.
For starters, I have more things in the loop than what is typical for me.

Sitting by the computer is the companion fingerless glove.

(ya'know...just as an aside: In finding the link for this pattern, I just noticed that the sales text reads: Keep your fingers warm at the computer, or even when you're knitting, with these handy fingerless mittens. Aye aye aye.)

In my purse is MyFK’s orange socks.



Next to the bed is Latifa, that just needs her last few ruffles.



Oh, and then the poor dejected Olympics Shawl:



(she sits in the corner…but I don’t know why…she hasn’t been “bad”, in fact she’s been quite fun to knit.)


So in thinking about the recent lack of knitting, I realize that when I knit a few rows here and there and it’s spread out over too many projects, it’s pretty difficult to see progress, and I think my internal instant-gratification-junkie isn’t getting fed.
But I wasn’t too sure that was the cause for the decrease in knitting, either.

And then it dawned on me.
My right arm has been hurting a whole lot the past few weeks (more on why here). I don’t believe the pain is caused from knitting, but rather from doing other tasks…but then the pain oozes over into other parts of my day. And it’s been silently keeping me from picking up the needles.

Latifa’s ruffles are on US 4’s, the glove on 3’s and the socks on 1’s….all needles so small they hurt. The OlympicShawl is on 11’s, needles almost so big it hurts, plus she's getting a bit heavier as we go.

So I decided to whip out a little something on 7’s and see what happened.
Thanks to Rabbitch and Co.,



I'll have a new dishcloth, I’m only $1.49 in the hole, and my arm isn’t barking at me too loudly.

So now my plan is to start another project on medium sized needles (maybe that “something to keep my shoulders warm in summer” thing?), and in between, knit on the projects calling for smaller needles. I do want to get Latifa done, pretty quickly though…somewhere in the knitting process I realized that she isn’t for me, she belongs with a friend…and that friend’s birthday is coming up soon.
--------------------------

Well, I was supposed to pick up that parenting book once my kid-free week was over, and I never did. And it’s still biting me in the ass. Time-outs just aren’t the reliable tool they were with my 5-year old now that he's 8. I get that. But I haven’t figured out an effective replacement that I can live with yet. And actually, it's seeming like it is mommy that needs the time-out half the time anyway.

I'm also coming to understand that if I’ve only got time to read one book, it might just need to be “boy specific”. Or possibly “only-child specific.” Especially since these are both things I know little about personally (ok, well I know a bit about boys—hehee—but probably nothing I can toss in to my parenting toolbox). But seriously, I wasn't an only child (I had a younger sister), and there were no little boy cousins or whatnot running around.

Although growing up, most of my friends were boys. Hmmm.

Anyhow. Here’s case in point for why I need a kid-boy-primer:
Last night my third grade boy told me that some of the jock-types have been making fun of him, telling him he’s weak.

Why??

Because he's (these are MyFK’s exact words, not mine)…“delicate...and can’t handle being rough.” (I love that—delicate).

So I ask MyFK to define “rough,” and he says that he can’t handle it when they punch him in the stomach.

Holy crap.

So there I sit, in parental shock….and I’ve got many thoughts running around in my head. About his new dumb-ass principal. About the new school building and how the layout isn’t effective for lunchtime patrolling. About how the import of (hate to say it, but--ghetto) kids into the school has not included any process for integrating them socially.

And I realize that none of these thoughts are going to help MyFK get through tomorrow’s recess.

And I realize that MY solution to the situation is pretty much a GIRL solution to the situation. Maybe it is just a solution and not actually a girl solution. But I dunno. I have no way to compare. And maybe boys don’t actually need a boy solution for bullying. But I think they do. And I don’t know what that solution is.

The best I do with MyFK while tucking him in last night, is to share with him how I was bullied (by both boys and girls) when I was kid, so that he doesn’t feel alone in it all. And the best I do is let him know that it didn't last forever, although at the time it felt that long. And the best I do is tell him that I feel like I’m not really sure what I can do to help, but that I am definitely putting some thought into it. And the best I do is to ask him if HE has any ideas about what might help.

All good things, I suppose.

I even ask him (in thinking about the few conversations I have had with boys and dads) if he thinks that maybe he needs to punch them back. To which he replied, "No. Hitting someone has never really worked out for me all that well." (yay)

So then I pull this little gem out of my ass:
I tell him that this probably wont make any sense to him now at 8 years old and in 3rd grade, but…
I think it’s important to note that once these bully kids get older, they are going to have a difficult time dealing with people in the real world. The kids who deal with everything by bullying might grow up to not do so well in the workplace. And in the very long run, the fact that MyFK is learning to deal with people without being a bully himself will count for something.

MyFK got quiet, and I was pretty sure was about to fall asleep (nothing like a boring lecture to get you dozing)…but then he says:

“Yeah. And I’m going to pull up in my fancy red convertible and they are going to be standing there with a ‘will work for food’ sign."

"And I’m just going to laugh and not give them any.”

Hahahahaha.

in defense of the prosthetistitute

mmm…ok, so let’s start with a little teehee.

Last Thursday I ran into an acquaintance at a local market. We’ve met through the dance community twice, for an approximate total of 7 minutes. Almost all of those 7 minutes have been entirely filled with her asking me about my amputation. And all of those minutes have been with my not wearing a prosthesis. I dont wear it when I dance yet.

I wasn’t wearing it when I ran into her at the market, either….because, well…see the previous post. It was “in the shop.”

Anyhow, she was stuck at the market due to car problems, so I offered her a lift somewhere, and during the car ride, we had another 4 minutes to play the Amputee Q & A game…this time, about whether or not I have a fake leg.

So she asks me if I have one, and I say:
“Yeah, but I had to leave it at my prosthetist’s, because…blah blah blah (and I start the story) …”
and I look up to see her face pale slightly and become riddled with worry lines…
and she’s sort of half-mouthing half-mumbling something to herself…

So I shut up.
And listen.

And she’s muttering to herself, very quietly,
“Prah-sta-……praw-stahhh….praw-steh-tic…prah-sti…what do you call your leg doctor???????”

“A prosthetist.”

“Holy crap. I could have sworn you said you left your leg at your prostitute's. I just could not figure that out.”
------------------------------------------

SO.
I got my leg back yesterday. And in defense of the PROSTHETIST, it wasn’t the cutting of the leg/pipe that caused the problem. He detached some wiring to move it out of the way while he performed his little surgery, and then reconnected it. Apparently when you do that, you have to “zero everything out again” in the computer component of my bionic leg.

We have still yet to determine if that little hack job will affect my warranty, though. ‘Cuz if it did, it’s getting replaced anyhow.

But I have the thing back now, and something must be shifting with me, because I was actually glad to have it back…like I missed it. And that was a first. And I seem to walking a bit smoother with that little height adjustment.

Of course, just when I get used to it, we’ll make more adjustments to it, probably. The next one is bigger though...we'll have to be making me a new socket in a few weeks. I’ve been the incredible shrinking woman, and even though I can tighten it up and make it smaller, I’ve about maxed that system out.

It’s too bad the rest of me hasn’t shrunk proportionately.

Now wouldn’t that be rad.

little snippets

I feel like I've got a kazillion things spinning around in my head right now, and no time to fully explore any of them.

So here's a list (probably incomplete) of little brain snippets.
And it doesn't come with pictures (sorry for those of you who hate seeing a blog-wall-of-text).
Oh, and I'm sorry, too that I haven't written much about knitting lately. Seems like a dumb thing for me to be saying given this isnt a knitting blog...but it seems like that's how most of you are ending up here.
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* This week I was forced to plan out the months of June, July and August. And it’s only March. I hate that. Day camp registration forms were due yesterday, and that meant several days of coordinating several people’s summer schedules.

* Watching several pages of a day-planner get filled up feels extremely constrictive to me and has me feeling a little bit of panic. Glad to say that it is booked with wonderful stuff (like going to perform with Dandelion Dancetheater in Hawaii), instead of being filled up with things that I’m not looking forward to doing.

* There are some people (believe it or not) that are not amputees, but wish they were. Some of them have even gone so far as to do things to their bodies that would require them to have amputations (close your gaping mouth, and if you don't believe me, google it). Is there any way we could send these people to the countries that need their landmines cleared??? Seems to me we could kinda kill two birds with one stone.

* Stray pictures taken of my car after the accident were unearthed last night during a purge of an old desk drawer. Stuff like that always gets me a bit unsettled. I can’t believe I’m even still here on the planet. Thank you Spirit.

* At the moment, I am finding sympathetic comments (about things that require no sympathy) incredibly annoying and unsympathetic.

* Every morning, I am waking to the immediate spin-cycle of my brain rattling through details and issues. I think I need to resume the writing of “Morning Pages” (a stream of conciousness brain-dump process developed by Julia Cameron in The Artist's Way).

* The thing I am missing the most in my life right now is silence.

* My child is a constant source of sound.

* Last night in belly dance class we carried out the time honored tradition of “Circle Dancing” (in honor of the Spring Equinox). The dancing I am allowed to witness and the dancing I am given space to share are some of the greatest gifts in my life.

* Credit where credit is due: I think it’s important to note what contributed to my being so grounded at last Sunday’s showing with Dandelion. I showed up an hour early so that I could do the complete series of warm-up exercises that I’ve been doing in bellydance class every Thursday since 1994. This series was developed by the late Jamie Miller, my mentor, and was being taught decades before I became her student. Thank You Jamie. I miss you, and I love you.

measure twice, cut once

Ya' know, I am forever reminding MyFK of the concept that just because someone does something stupid, it doesn't mean that they are stupid. I also frequently remind him that just because maybe someone does something that I don't like, that this does not mean that I completely don't like them.

We all make mistakes.
We should all be okay with none of us on this planet being perfect.
And we should all be okay with not needing to like every single thing about another person in order to like them as a person.

I tell you this because I'm about to tell y'all a little story about my trip to the prosthetist yesterday.
And I want you to apply the above lessons, so as not to have a bad impression of him.


He did something stupid.
And he did something I didn't like.
But it doesn't mean he's stupid.
And it doesn't mean I don't like him.

I don't think he's incompetent, and he's the only prosthetist thus far who has been able to resolve my unique fit issues. As far as I'm concerned, he's a genius (or at the very least, a creative thinker/problem solver).

But yesterday he.....
(well, let's call a spade a spade)...
fucked up.
Royally.

I dropped by his office to merely pick up a new waist belt (I use one that wraps around the thigh of my prosthesis and then straps around my waist, and it really helps me feel like the leg is more "attached" to me).

My plan was to also mention a couple of other things I've noticed with this test socket, so that those adjustments can be taken into consideration when the definitive socket is being made soon.

I also wanted to have him make the lenght of my prosthesis a tiny-tiny-TINY bit shorter.
-------------------

As an aside, this might seem hard to understand if you have both your legs, but for me, I have been operating without two legs or a prosthesis for sooooo long now, and I spend sooooo much time standing on only one leg, that when I put on my prosthesis, it's often quite difficult for me to answer things like, "Do you have your weight evenly distributed between both legs?" Beats the hell outa me. And things like, "Does one leg feel longer than the other?" Well, sometimes I just cannot accurately assess that.

I've had the physical therapist watch me both standing and walking, and she thinks the prosthetic leg seems to be the correct length. But the more I walk with it, and the better I get at walking with it (the less I am waddling like a duck with my legs farther apart, and the more I am walking with my legs directly underneath me), the more it feels like the prosthesis is just a tad bit too long. This past weekend, when strolling with TheMIG we noticed that I really lurch up and down when I take a step onto the fake leg, so I'm kinda thinking it's worth checking out.

I've had the leg's alignment tinkered with before. They have to do it every time they make me a new socket. They don't just tinker wiht the height...actually there are all kinds of angles and rotations that can be tweaked. And let me tell you, sometimes just a 1/8" adjustment can change your whole world. It's a very strange thing.
---------------

So yesterday, at the prosthetist, we agreed to try shortening my prosthesis by a 1/4". That plan is that we'd let me walk on it for a day or two, let the PT see me walk on it, and then reassess.

I'm not a prosthetist.
I do not know all there is to know about the methods by which a prosthesis can be shortened 1/4".
I'm not a seamstress or a carpenter, either.
But I have heard, "measure twice, cut once" a few times in my life...
and as a knitter, I certainly understand the logic of knitting a gauge swatch before embarking on a sweater....
and as a chef, I certainly understand the logic that you can't take salt out of a dish once you've added it.

Anyhow, I think I know enough about prothetics by now to be able to say for sure, that there are at least two (and probably more) places on the prosthesis where you can make the adjsutment to change the length of the leg. And I think I also think there are ways to make that change in length by only adjusting something or interchanging parts.
Not by cutting them or permanently altering them.
(y'all see where this is going, dont you??)

I think that one place you could make a change is with the little connector pieces that bolt the top part (the socket) onto the mechanical lower limb (the C-Leg). I think those connecting widgets come in different sizes, the same way you can go to hardware store and find both 1/8" and 3/8" screws.

Another place you can make that change is on the mechanical limb itself (ie: the $30K part of my prosthesis), down near the ankle. See, the "ankle" is really just a pipe, and that smaller pipe slides into the slightly larger pipe of the "calf". Kind of like a collapsing telescope. So to shorten the leg, you could just push it together another 1/4". Right?

Well, apparently, my pipe could be pushed in no deeper (that sounds dirty), and rather than go back up to the widgets up near the socket and fiddle with those, the prosthetist took it upon himself to take apart my "ankle pipes".

And trim off 1/4".

With a saw.


I dont know enough about the C-Leg to know why that shave job was such an issue (because I guess that's how they do things all the time with a more manual/less computerized prosthesis).....but apparently with the C-Leg it IS an issue. And now my leg doesn't work. That little trim job made the computerized knee no longer able to bend for some reason. Big problem.

The C-Leg is manufactured by OttoBock, a German company, and most mechanical things from that nation require strict conformity to the rules and regulataions.
(Say it with the tone of an Evil German Nanny/Ballet Mistress): "Vee vill not varrantee your produkt if you do not adhere to auer protocols and if you do not use auer replacement pahrts!!! Your varrantee shall be void!!!!!! Mwahahaha."


Well. So. I have no prosthesis for a little while.
Luckily it is no fault of mine, and it's not my problem (or expense) to fix it.

As for the prosthetist? Well...
he feels bad and I feel bad that he feels bad and so we all feel bad...but whatchagonnado.

Hopefully I'll be up and running (okay, well, walking) by Monday.

stress

For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
~~Lily Tomlin, comedienne

on yesterday's performance

I’m feeling very proud.
Proud of what I did, proud of what we did, and just basically proud to be a member of this dance project.

During the performance itslef I felt grounded and supported and connected and beautiful.
Can’t ask for much more than that :-)

Only one person (that's a record) approached me after the show to tell me how brave I am and that I am such an inspiration (and we all know how much I love that).

**if you dont know how much I love that, please reference yourself to Monday, December 12, 2005 "a label I can live with". I've made several attempts at trying to learn how to link you to an old post, but apparently I'm too much of a moron to figure it out

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Turns out that five days was just about the right amount of time to be away from MyFK. He wasn't gone so long that I was suffering withdrawls, nor was he gone long enough for me to forget I have a mommy-life. SO I got some projects done, slept in, had time to relax, time to play with TheMIG, time to hang out with friends old and new....oh, and I was able to have cookies for breakfast and not have to worry about setting a bad example... hehehee.

My first chance to see him again was this morning as he was waking up, and it was really sweet...then made him breakfast and off to school he went.
Picked him up at 2:20 and by 4pm I'd pretty much had enough already hahaha.

Ok, so NOW I'm ready to dive into that parenting book.

break a leg (?)

Today Dandelion Dancetheater is performing at ODC Theater in San Francisco. It's a showing of works-in-progress so that people
(people = potential funders of the project)
can see what material is in development.

This is not my first time performing publically, by any means.
But it is my first real modern dance performance.
And it is my first time performing completely naked.

Wish me luck.
(You never tell a dancer to "break a leg.")
(And you should especially not tell an AMPUTEE DANCER to "break a leg.")
(Breaking a leg would be bad.)
*giggle*

Incidentally, dancers say "merde"...
which is the French word for "shit".

Don't even get me started.
------------------------------------

early morning coffee/computer time revealed this interesting interpretation of the origin of the phrase "Break a Leg":

It has also been peculiarly suggested that the origin of the phrase dates back to Shakespearean days. Apparently at the time, the poor and uneducated (often slow and dimwitted, and referred to as Groundlings) unable to afford real seats, would crowd the front of the theatre, right up against the stage. Transfixed by the performance, when they got really excited the Groundlings were customarily known to drool! Prior to their performance (on a stage besieged by eager Groundlings), actors would wish each other good luck by saying, "May you give such a stirring performance that you fall on the ensuing spit of drooling groundlings, and break a leg!"

HA!!!

AND I also found this list of "good and bad luck superstitions of actors."

Number 15 on the list of bad superstions is:
"People should not knit near the stage"


?!??!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!

cozy

Carol comments: Now I wonder what would happen if you went into a big box craft store and when they asked you for help, you told them you were looking for a pattern for a knit prosthetic cozy?

hahaha...very funny!
Actually, I read that and asked myself why I hadn't already thought of pulling that stunt!!

It only took me about a second to answer that.

See, to be totally honest, the reason I haven't tried pulling that particular shennanigan is because (unlike the fake need for lubricants and springs), I actually DO have a need for a cozy.

And I've actually considerred knitting one.
Not a prosthesis cozy, exactly.
But a Stump Cozy.


Let me tell ya'...my "residual limb" (often referred to by The One who cuddles up next to it as "a fricking iceberg") would definitely benefit from having some sort of warming garment. And I doubt I'm going to find a Stump-Cozy at a department store. So, like most knitters obsessed with our craft, I thought....I'll knit something myself!

Except I haven't figured out exactly how to do that yet.
I'm not a pattern designer.
Not that a Stump Cozy should be rocket science. I can knit socks, and I obvioulsy wont be needing a heel on this contraption. In fact, I've figured out that whatever kind of Stump Cozy I'd knit up (being an above-knee amputee) is probably not going to be sock-like at all. It will probably be more like a handbag.

One cold night, when neccessity was being the mother of invention, I realized...wow! My stump is about the same size as my head!

And looks great in my kitty hat.

But seriously, in my novice pattern designing mind, I cant seem to figure out how to get a stump cozy to stay on my leg without cutting off circulation, which would just increase the iceberg factor. My residual limb is very short, so ribbing at the top would be right on the femoral artery. I've considerred an i-cord drawstring, knitting in an elastic thread, using Cascade Fixation, and I've even thought about attaching some kind of waist belt (which just sounds miserable). So I just dont know.

My Cozy thoughts have extended to covering these, also:


See? That's what I need to knit! I need Crutch Cozies! (the grey fake sheepskin is pretty ugly)
Last year I even went out and bought this lovely Koigu for them.

See all the colors? They will go with anything I'm wearing!
(....which will do just fine while I knit a matching pair for every outfit)

But then I did the math of warm/damp armpits, plus the friction of swinging crutches, with the addition of wool....(the equation being felt) and I realized I really needed to rethink this project a bit.

My friends have suggested that I must knit a cozy for my wheelchair seat.

Sure. That'll be the day. Right after I finish that Lysol can cozy for my 92 year old grand-mother.

But here's my latest cozy obsession: the covering of the socket.
THIS is my temporary socket.

I think I've told you guys about this before....it looks like I made it myself with a glue gun and duct tape (and there IS actual duct tape on it). Now, I aint complaining, because this is the first socket that has stayed on my leg so I can walk. But DAMN is it ugly, and in the few warm days we've had here since I got this new socket, I've worn shorts, and it looks reallllllly bad.

So I want to knit something to cover it.

And I just realized, that this WOULD be a prosthetic cozy, after all, now wouldnt it (?).

I'm on my way to that big-box craft store right now to ask for that pattern.