done.

filched from subsersivecrossstich, with permission to do so found here

This blog was plenty dry during the months leading up to November. Moving and performing and avoiding people and all....but daily posting has really gotten me reconnected to my blog, and I am glad for that.

I hereby promise to myself to post more frequently.

But maybe not this weekend. For starters, I have some serious ChannukahElfing to do around here (ummm, it starts like TUESDAY).

I am also going to be at a weekend long workshop about RawFoods and cleansing.

In between those two full day sessions, I will be sneaking in a date with TheMostImportantGuy to see "No Country For Old Men". He saw it a week or so ago and immediately wanted to go see it again, but he waited for me to be available (thank You).

So I'll either be wrapping gifties, staring at the silver screen, or splitting open coconuts and juicing wheatgrass all weekend. And when I'm not doing that, I'll be sneaking in special moments privately sniffing and fondling (and hopefully knitting) these:

dos Malabrigos
lace--28 blue surf...worsted--52 Paris night
3 skeins of each

Now who would let posting get in the way of that??

Malabrigo is (yarn) crack.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for stopping by this month!

are we there yet??

Actually, I've been wondering if "we there yet" every single day since NaBloPoMo began.
Two.
More.
Posts.
Gah!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today my BloMoAss has been saved by the assistance of the mailman and another NaBloBlogger, OutOfCharacter. I strongly encourage you to give this chick a read. I can't eat or drink when I read her posts because if I do, I either choke or blow food out of my nose because I am laughing so hard. Go over there and read her entire month of November. You won't be bored. I promise you. You will love me for it.

Well, the ErinTheBlogMistress is also a little crafty. She has a etsy shop full of sock zombies.

The first one I ordered I THINK was this guy/girl/thing??):



The reason I'm not sure if this is the actual zombie I ordered, is because "It" was with me for only about 22 seconds. See, I had ordered "It" for myself. "It" arrived by post the same day as Hamish, who was called forth from the internets to go cheer up J, who has been in the hospital for a very loooong time.

While I was packing Hamish and the other assorted goodies into the gift bag for J, "It" jumped in. And when "It" got to the hospital, "It" jumped onto her lap, and she laughed and rubbed "It's" tummy.
Love, it was.
They were meant for each other, I tell ya'.

So I ordered another zombie for myself.

This new zombie arrived today, and the moment "ItSquared" popped out of the package, MyFavoriteKid yelled, "Ian!!!"


me: "Ian???!?!?"
MyFK: "Yeah! Ian!!!!! Ian loves me!!"
me: "Nuh uhhhhhh. Ian is MINE. Mine MINE MINE!" (this girl does not share toys well)
MyFK: "NO! He is mine!!! He matches my room!!! He wants to be with ME!!"


Well, ya' got me there. I knew I shoulda ordered the orange one. DANG IT.
Zombie-less again.




As I sit here typing this, MyFK is doing homework at the diningroom table (in otherwords, we are both doing homework), but MyFK just popped up for the third time now to go into his bedroom to check on "It".
Excuse me.
I mean, IAN.

He says Ian is sleeps with his eyes open.

how i woke up this morning

My alarm clock goes off on the weekday mornings to the radio (on the weekends, it doesn't go off at all--YAY!).

The radio is set to KFOG, which is not my favorite radio station for the rest of the day usually, but it IS my all-time favorite channel for waking up to. They are usually playing some sort of mellow "classic" not too oldie, or something new but acoustic, and if it isn't music playing, then they are talking. I have noooo trouble at all being woken from a dream by the smiling deep voice of Dave Morey or the outbursts of laughter coming Renee Richardson. Anything on that channel in the morning sort of eases me into my day and I just sort of listen and wake up slowly. If whatever they are talking about or playing aint workin' for me, I hit snooze a couple of times and wait for the GetYourSlackerAssOutOfBedNOW alarm to go off (the grating beeping thing).

So this morning the radio alarm went off, and the first thing I heard was Dave saying that he was going to play a soundbyte from something he'd found on YouTube. It was from a Disability Awareness event held at Fenway Park.

Being a gimp and all, it peaked my curiosity, so I didn't hit snooze.

As the clip played, I at first got really nervous. Like realllllly nervous. Panic attack nervous, almost. But I hung in there. And I am glad I did. A little further in, I was able to smile.

Here it is.


It was a good way to start my day.

pay it forward

I cannot believe I am getting in a NaBloPoMo post this early in the morning. Dude, I haven't even had my cup o' tea yet.
It's kind of freeing, I tell ya'.
Not as freeing as December 1st will be, but yes. Freeing.

The only reason I have blog fodder this early in the day is because late night blog reading occasionally presents something cool, and this is what I found last night before I hit the sack.

I'd seen this crafty PayItForward thing whizzing around blogland, and I finally decided to bite the hook when I found a way in over at No-Blog-Rachel's blog. (And yes, I just find it damned odd that No-Blog-Rachel actually HAS a blog. I think she needs to be Why-Yes-In-Fact-I-Do-Have-A-Blog-Rachel. Or something.).

Anyhow.

Here's the deal:

I will send a handmade gift to the first 3 people who leave a comment on my blog requesting to join this PIF exchange. I don’t know what that gift will be yet and you may not receive it tomorrow or next week, but you will receive it within 365 days. That is my promise. The only thing you have to do in return is pay it forward by making the same promise on your blog.


I think this is really cool, and although I believe this round of PIF originated in eh KnitBlogCommunity, and although I love all things knitting and the whole KnitterlyGang out there, what I gift may not be handknit. It might. It might not. Just thought I'd mention that.

I'm kinda feeling crafty these days, and I am thinking this might just be the swift kick in the ass I need to do something different. I welcome anyone out there reading this who can create anything interesting to consider it being "handmade". Why can't a poet or a musician or something be one of the three who sign up. Why not?!!

Goodness, I hope I'm not being an anarchist and breaking the rules by suggesting that (umm yah, I'd just hate to be a rule breaker), but hey...handmade is handmade. So long as it can be gifted away, right??). And of course, knitters be welcome. I'm just sayin'. No one needs to be left out here, eh?



So. Do ya' wanna?

deck the hills

Do any of you buy into the concept that we choose our destinies before we were born? That we draft some sort of karmic contract? That we "sign up" for the stuff life deals us?

If you do, then you believe that I have pre-arranged to have wacked out neighbors....and I just cannot believe I would ever draft that.

Let's see. First, I had this lovely view of the San Francisco Bay and the Golden Gate Bridge.



Which my neighbor installed a tent in front of.



And he was totally pleased about the fact that it pissed me off. Which it did. Especially when the damn thing proved to be wind and rain proof....

....and even more so when he fixed the tent with duct tape. That was lovely.

So then I move to my new home, and find that I have a neighbor on the hill above me, and he has a trampoline overlooking my yard.


Not as bad as the tent, and I feel ripped off having never seen anyone jumping on it. Unfortunately when it comes to wind and rain, the trampoline doesn't fare as well as the tent, though.

But the owner puts it back up after it blows down, and I do not believe with duct tape, and besides...he doesn't seem to care about my existence, so at least he's not intentionally trying to piss me off with his yard ecoutrement.

I'd say it's an improvement.


Last night I discovered that I now have another new decorative neighbor!! Well, I kind of had a hunch they'd pull something. Let me show you why. Here's the wide angle:



This is my street, and these are my neighbors. Only a sliver of my house is showing. I am that little bit of blue down at the very end of the street, on the right there. Next to the yellow house with the street lamp. Up above my house, you can see TrampolineGuy's crib. Now, I ask you to sort of look at the (sadly) cookie cutter-ness of the hood. It's not my favorite way to live, but as you can see, we do have sort of a theme going on. Now look back up on the hill at the house that is two houses to the left of TrampolineGuy's.

Here. Let me help.
I mean, I think the southern plantation theme is okay I guess. A little odd, but I actually am tickled for them that they're breaking the mold. Even if every time I look at it, it seems a wee bit out of place to me. They host lots of parties and light all of those terraces up, and I can hear people talking and laughing, and I sit out back in my own yard with a glass of wine imagining who's up there. Y'all.

But guess what. The PlantationTerracePartyPeople added a new feature last night! Can you see it??

What about now??



Yes. That would be a four-friggin'-story high Christmas tree-ish light display thing. The windows of the house next to it? That is their 2nd floor.

Again, an improvement. I agree. I'm not bitching. Really. I'll take a festive holiday display over a soggy tent ANY day.

But in my own sick and twisted way, I can't wait to see what the wind and rain are going to do to THIS one ;-)

the home stretch

25 down, 5 to go. Thank goodness, eh?


Well, for those following along, apology accepted. What a relief. I was so very sad. It pains me to no end put distress and displeasure on the face of someone I love so much.

That's actually somewhat new to me, I am sorry to say. Up until I few years ago, I used to be such a button pusher.

I grew up in a family that sort of thrived on chaos and emotional upheaval. I don't expect all relations to be a perfect happy-go-lucky thing, and I don't try to hide strong feelings when I have them (but I would like to learn to present them better). But my family of origin?? They didn't only believe that a little upset was normal--no--they believed that upset and anger and chaos were some of the very things that made life exciting and vibrant. I remember as a kid being stressed by situations and be told, "Awww, c'mon!! Wouldn't life be BORING without shit happening??" (okay, they didn't say shit...but you get the gist).

It's taken me a very long time to get it through my thick skull that I do not have (or want to have) that belief system, and that just because it is the belief system I grew up in, it is not mine. I actually really LIKE an anger free environment, thank you very much. But I have more practice with chaotic environments than I do with calm ones, so sometimes I fuck up and make a mess out just out of habit.


Anyhow, all is quiet on the western front again here, and handknitted warmth for him still comes from my hands.

fuzzy feet #2, in progress

(ed. to add: Ya' know, I just tucked myself into bed to knit the last of this second slipper, and was thinking about this post. I do not want to give the impression that my folks suck ass. They do not. Chaos still happens (their motto of it being exciting sure hasn't changed any), but it is less frequent, and in spite of it, I just love them bunches. I see my parents at least twice a week, and wouldn't exchange it for anything. The time with them is very special to me, and I am so glad I have such a close relationship with them. HOWEVER, that family chaos that I mentioned above??...that was real...and it was during my formative years. It therefore made a huge and lasting impression on me. Does that make sense? I hope so. 'Cuz I want it to be clear that I learned some things during that era that I want to unlearn, but all of my experience makes me who I am today, and today I am person who loves her family and appreciates every moment she has with them. And I'm not just saying that so they'll bail me out the next time I blow up my oven).

apology

I sit here feeling like I need to say more than I'm sorry....
but I am no good with words.

Instead, I try knitting you something, to make you warm.

Still....

Feeling like my own apologetic words are not enough...
Feeling like warmth coming from my hands is not enough...

I turn to the all knowing internets.
Surely someone else has written a powerful sentiment that rings true,
and I shall offer that!!

In my quest for the perfect apology, I end up here...
and I laugh at myself.
And feel a little better.

I decide that offering the laugh is a better choice than someone else's words.
If that doesn't work, maybe I'll try the mature glamour stockings, or perhaps some black ghetto booty.



Really, though. I know that an apology is not enough, and that what really You require is my understanding.
I DO understand. And I am sorry.

nablomis interruptis

Once again, it's just before midnight and I've realized that I have yet to post today. It's 11:36pm, and I cannot be bothered with NaBloPoMo tonight because TheMostImportantGuy's cousin and her hubby are visiting tonight, and we're busy getting her knitting her very first socks!!!



She's a relatively new knitter and has done scarves and hats. When she got here tonight, I had a gift bag waiting for her with a set of sock needles and a ball of self-striping yarn. I showed her how to turn a heel and pick up gusset stitches on the pair of FuzzyFeet I am working on.

We are having a blast. It's almost midnight and we are all sitting around in the living room together right now. The boys are talking about all things business and computer and geeky....and meanwhile, us girls are knitting away. GirlCousinTurnedSockKnitter will occasionally whisper, "Blue!!"...."Yellow!" She is totally entranced with the color changes, and it's totally cracking me up.


I swear I'll try to get in a non-last-minute-post before the weekend is over!!!

on being thankful

(why yes, it sure as hell does)

You know, I didn't have my usual Ooey-Gooey-I-Am-Feeling-Thankful-Emo-Thing this year. Usually I have at least one of those moments when this day rolls around. Pass me the tissues.

This year was different, I think, because for the past several months, at some point every single morning, I take a minute or two and count my blessings. If I'm not up for counting them all, I try to at least think of just one and focus on that, and experience gratitude. It's been a really wonderful practice, and reflecting in this way seems to take away the desire to steep in it annually.


I hope (for those celebrating or not) that it was a wonderful day....and I hope for every day to be as wonderful.

squeechin in at the last minute

Yes. I was doing the Yay!-I'm-going-to-bed dance, going around the house and turning off all the lights. I'm allllll ready for cozy time and making an indent in my memory foam pillow.
But NOoooooooo.....I forgot to post today. So here I am, and it's almost midnight.

Was NaBloPoMo this hard last year?
Is it different this year because the dinner is at my house and guests are coming to stay for the weekend?

I ask myself these questions, and many others....and in fact, here ARE the other questions I found me asking myself today, because I actually wrote them all down on a piece of scrap paper, just for you:

Where did my parenting skills go? Did I leave them packed in a box??

Is there a link between feeling like I don't spend as much time with MyFavoriteKid and the fact that my house is generally cleaner?

When did I become a bag washing hippy?? With a BAG DRYER.



I really do not wear about half the clothes in my closet...isn't it time I either wear them or get rid of them?

Why does my 18 year old cat always lay sleeping on the bed with his eyes open?
So my heart can stop at least once a day because I think he's dead?

Why is it that when a part of someone's mind goes, that they don't lose the part that is impatient and rude to people?

Is 11:45am too early to be drinking Baileys on the rocks? (probably)
Is that a sign that something aint quite right in my life? (probably)

Do I really need to follow this knitting pattern or do I know enough by now to just make shit up?

How long will it take my Thanksgiving guests to realize that my plan to potluck it basically got everyone else but me doing the work?




I might have had answers for some of these questions, except that I answered the Baileys question first (with a no and a yes), and after having a couple of those, well.....

I gotta go make dents in pillows. 'Night

the easy way out still counts

Today's hits to the blog from the statscounter:

14.29% dolphin gets tail
14.29% knitting
14.29% dishwasher kiss
14.29% ello john things are getting better,i just bought a brand new sweater
14.29% amputeehee
14.29% amputee crutching
14.29% fireplace bookcase


I can account for every one of these, including the kissing of the dishwasher.
Except that one there in the middle.
What the f%$# is that?????



Sorry for the short post, but I just have had ENOUGH today. Of EVERYTHING.
I am a crabcake.

knitting knews: two-toned ribbed shrug

I have been going through some photos of the last two year's worth of FO's (FinishedObjects, knitting), as I am verrrry slowly adding them to my ravelry page. Seeing what I had knit in '05 and '06 compared to this year's measly haul has been pretty shocking. I haven't knit diddly-squat!!! I mean, I definitely put myself on "knitting restirction" so I could use that time to purge and pack and move and then unpack....and then after that, there were the performances. But still!!! This year has been almost fiberless!! Gah!

I intend to remedy that, starting now...but of course, updating ones ravelry page with all of that previous knitting history, and then getting lost in the mindblowing potential projects section listed over there...that can sort of can keep one away from the ACTUAL KNITTING TIME one might have available to them....
is anyone feeling me here????

Anyhow, here's something to add to my list '07 FO's:


Two-Toned Ribbed Shrug

Yarn: Cascade 220 Paints, color 9928-Dark Sunset, for the body
and Cascade 220, color 8555-black, for the collar and sleeves

Needles: US #7's and #5's, KnitPicks Options

Pattern: Two-Toned Ribbed Shrug, from Stephanie Japel's Fitted Knits

Size: 17" (measurement from shoulder-tip to shoulder-tip)

Modifications: on the sleeves, when I changed to the CC for cuffs, I did 1 row of purl before switching to the rib to eliminate any odd color transition




Started: sometime in September, with the intention of having it done by early October. The plan was for me to use it to keep my shoulders warm at all of the dance rehearsals. Sadly, that didn't happen, even though it was a very simple and quick knit. I got stuck picking up stitches for the collar, as somehow I kept getting the wrong number. I didn't have the attention span for anything more than mindless, so it got set aside until after the run of all the shows. It will still get plenty of use, for sure. I love it.

Finished: November 18th, 2007



Notes: The Cascade 220 Paints bleeds. This was originally a much darker, sultry red, and the variegation was more subtle. During the post-knit soak, a whoooole lot of color came out. There are even a few places that now seem purple-ish, which was not at all present pre-washing. I am still pleased, but I preferred the original colorway. This yarn also expanded post-wash, but I knew that because I had washed my test swatch, and so planned for that accordingly when determining which size to knit. The swatch did not, however, release as much dye as the finished project, so when the color changed on the actual knit, I was quite surprised.

Final Verdict: I like it! It's a good fit, although on me, the collar folds down behind my neck. I guess I don't have one of those giraffe necks like the model in the book ;-) The only trouble I have with this garment is taking it OFF. It requires reaching behind myself in a way that is somewhat problematic (my arm doesn't go in that direction anymore because of the accident and all of the plates and screws in there). I have found a method, but I look a little silly doing it, so once this puppy is on, it stays on...because I have to be willing to be seen contorting my face along with my body while I do the Houdini-thang.

I would make this again.

can i go back now, please?

The weekend was great.

We started with a pit-stop at my favorite winery.



I know. Roasted garlic is not RawFood. Neither is imported cheese or rosemary flatebread :-)

We got to our destination, and checked in at the front desk for keys. Before going to our room, we stopped by the spa office to see if there were any slots available for massages later in the evening. There were two slots at the same time, but for then and there, on the spot. We went for it, and we separately, but simultaneously, both got all rubbed down. Then we went over to the dining hall and had a delicious vegetarian dinner. All of this was before we even made it over to our room or unloaded our car. It was already dark by the time we got there.

The room was more amazing than I had expected. It was this enormous dome shaped thing.



It was acoustically entertaining.



Outside of our room was a pool that was fed by the hot-springs, so we got to take a nice quiet soak before going to sleep.

Check out the view from the room I woke up to the next morning.



Saturday was more of the same. Body work, food, love, knitting (hey, I even finished something! pictures tomorrow), rest, soaking, peace, quiet. And Sunday was even more of the same.
Spoiled. Rotten.




I'm trying not to be a poo-butt, but the shift back to reality is proving a little difficult, as I sit here and type this. I think I will go to sleep now, close my eyes, and try to rewind the weekend in my mind a bit so I can prolong the happy feelings.
G'night.

four.

very special necklace TheMostImportantGuy gave me last fall

Whoever said you could find anything on Craigslist
...was right.
That's how we found each other ;-)

PS. this was posted via wonky old desktop at internet cafe. I NaBloPoRock

the one in the black

Every time I go to one of these gothic-y industrial-ish things, I always seem to forget there is a dress code.


You know. "Oh yeah! Just look for me when you get there, dude! I'll be the one in the black."


Yeah well, leave it to me to show up looking like this.

How very gothic of me. hahahahahaha
Super shiny silver leather, a turtleneck, and a honking strand of freshwater pearls.

Well, at least I sorta got the bottom half right, I guess.

Mini-skirt, fishnets, black boot and kneesock (singular), which has a cute pink bow. Oh. And let us not forget the matching handbag LOL.

Actually, I felt great about what I had on. I've been working on making a new look for myself, and this is workin' just fine by me.

In all seriousness, I have never been one to care much about fitting in. Did I ever tell you that I was nominated "Most Unique Senior" even though the ballots were cast only two weeks after I had started attending the high school? I didn't even KNOW anyone there, I was new to the school, and I got nominated as most unique senior as a WRITE IN. Let just say,...I uhhh...sorta stuck out (and that was when I had TWO legs! maybe that's why I didn't win?!!)

Anyhow, I thought I looked cute last night. And TheMostImportantGuy thought I looked great (he said so like three times--yay!)...but hey...he was also the only other person in the place besides me not wearing black. He was wearing red.

TheMIG was in the headlining band AND he was the sound engineer for the whole night.

I looooove it when he's in that role. I spend most of the night just watching his hands push buttons and twist knobs. It is one of my favorite pastimes and fascinates me to no end.



I love His hands. I could watch them for hours.

Although, I equally like watching him when he drums, because he sort of "goes somewhere," and I really like watching that shift in Him.



It was one of the first things I adored about Him, because I "go there" too when I dance.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We are headed out of town for a romantic getaway to a quiet place that has no tv's or phones in the rooms, and is out of range of cell phone service. I am hoping I am able to find a way to post tomorrow somehow, otherwise I will have NaBloBlownIt.

the midway i'm a slacker post

Actually, I'm surprised I've made it this far with resorting to things like this, but today it just must be so.

You Are Sunrise

You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary. You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward. Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts. All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.

What Time Of Day Are You?

I landed on this quiz courtesy of Donna.
And you are getting it courtesy of whatever it is still making me feel like crap.

All I've been able to eat over the past two days are a bowl of miso soup, a glass of almond milk, a glass of fresh squeezed apple juice, and last night I finally graduated to a bowl of rice. Not raw. LOL

I'm also having some insomnia problems, too. I just can't get tired enough to find sleep. I keep going around the house in circles getting distracted by task after task, but of course, never finishing anything. Staying up late last night to get suckered into Project Runway for the first time really didn't help matters much, so thanks very much to you sucker-inners, and you know who you are (although KarenTheDancingLurker will thank you, as now we will have something else to talk about every Thursday before class).


I'm going out of town tomorrow for the weekend (and I sure hope I can find wi-fi on Saturday, or I am screwed with the NaBloPoMo thing, but whatever....anniversaries are so much more important), so today I have lots to do to get ready, and I'm feeling really drained and not quite up to the task.

I also have a verrrrry late night ahead, way down in the South Bay. TheMostImportantGuy is drumming behind an electronic musician who will be performing live down there. Anyone want to come keep me company? Drinks are on me.

Of course, I'll probably still be sipping apple juice. But you can have whatever you want. If you get toasted and make an ass out of yourself, I will laugh at you. But I promise not to post about it tomorrow.



Oh, and I did participate in something a little bit more involved that the quiz. Go check out this entry at PilgrimSteps and make some poetry!

thanks overdue

Almost done with the rewind into Sep/Oct...and my apologies to those who can't stand it when bloggers do the backtrack but, well, sorry. My blog. No likey??? No clicky, no scrolley.

I want to say thanks to people who sent me some stuff.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This first goes wayyy back. I ordered a set of K-N-I-T stitch markers from Mouse's etsy shop, Mousie Masala.


At the time the package arrived, I wasn't knitting things that require markers, so I tucked the package away. Then there was the Age Of No Knitting, where I put the needles down entirely (*gasp*) in order to pack up for moving day.

I recently cast on for a shrug and needed a couple markers, and it was like getting a gift a second time when I found the package in my knitting bag. Mouse had thrown in a few extras, plus a pair of earrings and a fimo button, which is going on another Calorimetry that I am about to cast on for (it is getting cold here!!). But I absolutely adore the high-top tennis shoe. I am a collector of Chuck Taylors in odd patterns and colors.

Thank You, Mouse!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More recently (but not by much) I ordered a T-shirt from Jodi Green's etsy shop.



I love the shirt. Hell, I love everything she has ever sent me. I have a piece of art of hers that is undergoing a framing project of epic proportions. It's almost done. It requires some special hanging doodads, but I bought them, and TheMostImportantGuy and I will hopefully get it mounted this next week so I can show it to you. I think I'll need to shoot a pic of me wearing the shirt in front of the art. It all sort of works together.

Anyhow, Jodi also very kindly sent MyFavoriteKid some dvd's of their favorite thing in common, Naruto. And she also added into the package this little book for me.



I just adore it. I think she had take some old prints and cut them and bound them. I flip through it all the time. It sends me to a special place because it's kind like holding a little kids board book. The pages have sort of a "feel" to them, which I also love, as they are layered with printing materials that give them texture. I also like that every time I look at it, I see something new.

Thank You, Jodi!!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Inky sent me the coolest Housewarming/Halloween basket:



The Lindt chocolate was promptly inhaled, the earing promptly worn (made by Mrs.Inky herself---hey Inky, do you sell stuff? Is there a link I can add?) There were spooky sprinkles for baking, and a pasta blend that included black bat noodles.

My favorite thing in the basket was this little dude.


I just think he is so funny, and he made me smile all through October every time I saw him. I just packed him up with the Halloween decorations this week when I put them away, but I might need to go back and fish him out. I miss him.

And last, but not least, let us not forget the missing leg lollipop:


What a crack up. I almost died when I saw it. Apparently you can build a whole skeleton if you "collect them all". Inky even got me the anatomically correct (ie: missing) leg.
:-)

Thank You, Inky!!!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I met up with Gayle of All Things Home for a cup of tea and chit chat, and she gave me some really great books.


They are compilations of essays by Laurie Colwin, who was a contributor to Gourmet magazine. I love all things food and kitchen, and these books have been a great read.
Thank You, Gayle!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last, but not least, I got one great housewarming gift from the (blogless) occasional commenter, KarenTheDancingLurker (by the way, Karen, if you comment, you are no longer lurking *ducks*).



I set of Fred Astaire movies!!! She and I are both big fans, and we even went out together over the summer to see a couple of his movies played on the big screen. I have a few of his movies on videotape, but have never had them on dvd. I am so excited, and I can guarantee you that this will make my winter of sipping yummy libations by the fire just perfect.

The also included some words with her card. I love what it says, and it is on my fridge.



Thank You, Karen!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think that wraps up the rewind.
Maybe.
With NaBloPoMo, one never knows.

another update

In my book, an "update" post isn't good enough for NaBloPoMo. Unfortunatley, the only remedy I can come up is to give a second update. Let us hope that tomorrow is different.MyFavoriteKid isn't sick, and he had about the same exposure as I did.

I have been in and out the bathroom all day performing all sorts of nasty acts of bodily exodus. I am assuming it was last night's iceberg lettuce salad gone. If that wasn't it, then I poisoned myself, and I don't like that idea one bit. But I can't blame the headache and vomiting on the cloud of plastic smoke, because MyFavoriteKid seems fine. I don't know. Maybe I just can't process these things like I used to, but I think it was something I ate.

There is some great news, though. At some time today, while I was moaning on the couch, the OvenFaries came to visit wearing hazmat suits:



Sometimes I don't know what I'd do without my mommy and daddy.

I love you guys.

update

I woke up with a splitting headache, I am really nauseous, and I am freezing because I have all the windows open. The only bonus to last night's event is that I think I have finally killed all of the fruit flies.

KarenTheDancingLurker sent me an email with a link to plants that are good at cleaning the air. I was all happy because I have a Dracaena in the house, but then I looked up and my saw that my gerber daisies are dead. Lovely.

Excuse me while I go out for some air. I think I'll go to Jamba Juice and get something with pomegranate juice, green tea, and seventeen Anti-Oxidant boosts.


Oh, and can someone please go bop my friend PhilTheVeganChef in the nose? He laughed at me because I spend so much time eating Raw/Vegan/Organic, only to pump myself full of pollutants and toxins.
Asswipe.

out of the frying pan, into the fire

You know what happens when you switch to a Raw Foods Diet? Your oven pretty much becomes obsolete. Dead space.

I mean, MyFavoriteKid is still eating cooked foods, but most of them can be cooked on the stovetop or in my toaster/convection oven. For myself, I pretty much only use the stove to heat water for tea or if I am cooking for guests. There really is no need to spark up the oven. Not for one person. Unless I am baking something for MyFK that wont fit into the the toaster oven. Like a few fillets of salmon, for example. His favorite.

So what does a Raw Foodie do with all that dead oven space? Well, some of us use it to store things. Like things we need to tuck out of sight.

For example, when I make food for myself, I sometimes use a fancy food dehydrator as part of my prep. I use my fancy dehydrator to make delights such as this:

veggie burger on onion bread
that was my lunch today, and I don't care what you think, it was damn good

My fancy dehydrator has many large trays. After I wash the gangly things (and their two kinds of liners), which take up much counter space and commandeer the entire dish rack, I sometimes put them in the dead space of the oven until they are dry. At which point I then return them to their proper storage place (*cough cough*).


Do you see where this is going yet?
Do I even need to finish this post?

Probably not, but I bet you at least want to see the pictures proving my stupidity:

inside the oven

melted dehydrator trays+liners w/orange towel

that's the oven rack turned upside down, with plastic drippings

I kind of like that last shot. It reminds me of one of my all time favorite songs, "Fake Plastic Trees". It seems like the meltoid mess might even have a little artistic value . It's quite sculptural, no? Do you think I could sell it to pay for the $100.25 (plus tax & shipping) it will cost me to replace the parts??

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The house got pretty smoked out. Chemical burnt plastic smoked out. Once the danger had passed and I was able to hurl the melted goo out the back door, we opened the whole place up and then left. I took MyFK out for Hawaiian BBQ. He had seafood noodle soup and fried shrimp. I had the 4 cups of IcebergLettuceSalad. Yum.

Our lungs are still hurting a bit, and the air in the house just sort of has a taste to it. I have windows open still, but it is expected to get down into the mid 40's tonight. Not freezing, I know, but I'm not really in the mood to leave them open and crank up the fans, either.


I am so damn glad I just invited the troupes here for Thanksgiving Dinner in a little more than a week. And not a Raw Thanksgiving either--the kind of Thanksgiving that requires a functional oven. Whee.

my current relationship with happiness

I promised to finish this, and finish this I will.

As I mentioned, there was a second thing that kept me from from posting in September:
I was too damn happy.

the welcome mat purchased back in July to grace the new house.
even though the red circle has faded considerably, it's still quite a happy place in here

Not long after moving into the new house, I had a visit from the Happy Fairy.

The lawsuit had been settled. Monies had been received. The stress of learning where to put that money for safekeeping was over (and yes, suddenly having money was about as stressful as having no money, because I didn't know diddly about investing). The move to the new house was over. Old debts were repaid, bills brought current. MyFavoriteKid was settled in his new school. And besides the money and transitional stuff, there were really no big issues on my plate. No life crises to deal with. Not in my world, nor in lives of those in my immediate circle.

This took some getting used to. I had been in upheaval for ages. Somewhere around late August, I think I took the first full, deep breath I had taken in ohhhh.... 3-1/2 years or so. Maybe longer. And I mean that literally. My lung capacity was expanding. Stress was leaving my body. Anxiety was shifting. I was often being asked why I had a shit-eating grin on my face. I was often bursting into giggles just because life was so damn good.

And it was like being in a foreign land.
And as happy as I was, I suddenly found myself getting sad and depressed.
A couple of weeks of deep introspection revealed the following:

* Feeling good was so foreign to me at that point, that it actually felt physically uncomfortable. My head knew that this should not be so, that happy was a good thing, but my body was just not willing to break from it's habitual state. My body was used to being cramped up into a tight ball, with headaches and constant frowning and scowling. Being happy, on a physical level, was oddly quite difficult.

* I was isolating myself from my friends. You ever get so sick of hearing yourself complain, that you just stop talking? I had developed the happy version of that. I was really concerned that my friends were going to be sick of hearing how good things in my life were. Why? Because when things in my life weren't going so hot (like having my power turned off, or having to borrow money to buy groceries, or not having my insurance straightened out and having my rental wheelchair almost taken away from me by the insurance company)... when things in my life were just about existing... I really didn't want to hear about the happiness of my friends. There were even a few points where my happy friends enraged me, and there were a few friends I couldn't even hang around, because I couldn't relate to their pleasant selves. Now here I was, quite happy and comfortably existing again, and I was worried that my friends wouldn't want to hear about it. So I just kept my mouth shut whenever I was around them. But that is not at all the way I do friendships. I don't even know how to have a friendship that doesn't include being my overly-out-there self. It was just odd to me that I could be "out there" about being in a pit of life's ugliness, but not on a hill of happiness.

It is the above situation which kept me from posting, too.

* I uncovered that residing in me was the core belief that I do not deserve happiness. All of the years of positive affirmations and my spiritual belief in the powers of setting intention could not have prepared me to recognize this without some deep searching: when it really got down to it, I honest to gosh did not believe in my heart that I deserved any of this goodness. It actually took a few good people to hit me over the head a few times to get me to see that I do. Just as it also took a few good people conking me to realize that I (hopefully) will not be like those friends I had been avoiding, because I am a significantly different kind of person than they are.

Anyhow, it is now months later, and I have no way of accessing the raw emotions that caused the internal investigation. I am quite annoyed with myself for not writing this all down somewhere while it was happening. I am also annoyed that for some reason my InstantMessenger didn't archive the particularly cathartic (HA!) chats I had with TheBon about the whole matter, because they were enlightening.

I can't go back in time to when it was all fresh, but I CAN tell you where I am today:

Life is full of hills and valleys. I was in a valley, I am presently on a hill. There have been many hills and valleys prior to this last go round, and as sure as day changes to night, I will surely be in a valley again. In nature, no storm can last forever. And sunshine won't last forever either. It will rain again. I WILL HAVE ANOTHER VALLEY. What I get now is that I don't need to spend my life dreading it, because surely it will come. I have no judgment of the valley, and as a result, I have no judgment of the hill. I need to party on the hill. Party party party. And use the vibrancy that comes with mountaintop living to make myself strong for the next dip into darkness.

I have never been one to keep happiness for myself. I know a lot of people that do, and I have a sneaking suspicion that they do because they worry that there is only so much happiness to go around--so they horde it. In retracing my hills and valleys, I can see that when I grip onto what goodness I have, I almost immediately lose my hold on it. And I am now experimenting with actively giving it away, in many ways. I think I'm on the right track.

I deserve happiness.

And I do not feel the need to expand on that, other than to simply say that I know I deserve it, and I know you deserve it to. And if I can be a part of bringing that happiness to others who deserve it, then I will have had a good day.