niiiiiiiice weekend :-)

Recap!

So Friday night My FavoirteKid had a school dance; meanwhile, I went to play Bunko at the clubhouse (the TheMIG joined us mid-round after his evening commute). Once the game was over and I had picked MyFK up from the dance, TheEx showed up to pick up MyFK for their weekend together. This was an unusual arrangement. See, normally when MyFK goes to his dad's for the weekend, the swap happens at 930am or so on the Saturday. TheEx has band practice on Friday nights, and (up until now) it just seemed too late at night to make the switch. So MyFK is with his dad every other week from Satuday mornings until Sunday just after dinner. Not quite a full weekend.

As MyFK gets older though, he's staying up on Friday nights late anyhow! He's allowed to watch a moive or play games or have a friend over. So even though 1030pm seems kind of late to make the switch, we tried it....and I think it worked.

I'm going to push for it to beceome a more reguar thing. The issue is that I realllllly would like to go to a zen center on Saturday mornings, but for some reason zen things usually start quite early. Early, as in, I would need to get up and be on the road by 6am or so. Now, MyFK is getting old enough where I can leave him alone at home for a couple of hours at home, but I am not at all ready to leave him alone in the house while he is still sleeping (I would never forgive myself if something bad happened here while he was alone and sleeping), and I'm also not going to wake him up at 5:30 on a friggin' Saturday.

So this whole Ex taking the kiddo on Friday nights at 1030-ish....well, it's late. True. But it gave me a more full weekend, and more importantly, it gets me a shot twice a month at getting to the zen center. Finally.

Ok, so the rest of the weekend!!

Yah, well, so Saturday....TheMIG and I went to the zen center and then out to breakfast with the group. We took the dog to the park for awhile and I read and knit. TheMIG went clothes shopping with me so I could find a dress to wear to his company holiday party (that was kinda sad--it took me 2 hours and maybe 20+ dresses to find something just so-so), and then we went to see the Michael Jackson movie.

Somewhere during the course of the day, there were several events that sadly let up to my having a relatively good sized post-traumatic stress anxiety attack. I dont want to get into all the details, but if you've been reading along let me just say that at the zendo I had a interview with the monk and ended up needing to retell some of the details of the accident in order to answer his question, then that night when we were driving to the mall I almost hit a deer (deer=big mojo sign in my life story), and then on the way home we passed by the scene of a fatal car accident. It was not at all good for my head.
I'm doing much better today, thankfully.

Ok so today we slept in a bit, TheMIG let me go hook up with a new knitting group up in Napa that has just formed on Sundays. The we went to our very favorite restaurant for lunch....


...which included several courses of decadance, plus dessert....

...mmmmm....for me, fancy hot chocolate "shot" and cardamom donut holes.

We came home and cuddled and took a couple hour nap (ahhhh the luxury).

Then we went out to dinner at this family owned/local institution/hole in the wall-ish sort of mexican joint in Berkeley that we love to go to when we can. We used to eat there LOTS when we first started going out, so it was the perfect warm fuzzy way to end our weekend together.

TheMIG headed home, and I headed out to see one of my dancer colleagues perform in a collaborative show....so I got to see a few other friends there (ie I de-hermitized for a change) and also got witness some wonderful art/movement work.

Really. Nice. Weekend. :-)


Tomorrow: part 2 of the retreat. xo!

snaps on saturday

Taken on a walk after going to the zendo and out to breakfast this morning.
Not cropped or shopped in any way. Just as it was :-)

let's try this: part 1

**written: Fri the 13th; posted?: Sat the 14th. 'Cuz I clicked "save now" instead of "publish post" ...what a putz.**

I have been sitting here staring at the computer screen for quite some time figuring out how I'm going to capture this knitting retreat when I really have no time today (what else is new). Today was busy and I have to head out shortly to drop MyFavoriteKid off at the middle school dance, and then I am supposed to be up at the neighborhood clubhouse in 30 mintues for a round (or three) of Bunko. Then I need to go to bed as early as I can afterwards because I am going to go to the buddhist zendo at the butt-crack-o'dawn.

SO. Here's what I'm thinking. I'm breaking this up in nice manageable parts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 1.

It's probably worth mentioning how I ended up even knowing about this retreat.

I learned to knit as a little kid, then picked it up for a few years again in my 20's. I didn't dive into knitting headlong though until about 5-ish years ago when I picked up the needles again as physical therapy for my very broken arm.

I was wanting to try out new things and needed some help, and that is when I discoverd that my LYS (local yarn store) offered a few different times each week where knitters could come and sit around a big table and chat and knit and also get help on their projects from the yarn owner. This was perfect for me, because in addition to needing help, I also really needed to get out and be social.

The local yarn store was Skein Lane. The brick and mortar shop is now closed, but the owner, Carolyn still leads the knitting workshops out of her house. She also had been offering an annual retreat for quite some time, which still continues. I had always wanted to attend but could never make it work out. This year was my first year, and part of what inspired me to really get it together to be able to do it was who the line-up was for teachers:

here's Carolyn with this year's instructors: Nancy Bush & Sally Melville

Okay, so that's what got me there, which I understand isn't really a post about the retreat. It's the backstory. But it feels to me like it's a part of what I'll say next, so there you are. Part 2 coming. TheMostImportantGuy are doing a little anniversary celebrating this weekend, so I will either pick it up again Sunday or Monday :-)

another in my cast of characters

Ohhhhhh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!

It's 11:44pm, I just got home and am settling down after dance class...and I don't have a blogpost done for today (and there is no way I am going to get the retreat post done at this hour--I've blown it again). And I reallllly want to go to bed.

Lemme do this much.
Let me introduce you to one of the ladies from the knitting circle at the convalescent hospital that I volunteer at.

I'm going to introduce you to Marie. Marie is always cold and is usually buried under several blankets. She doesn't knit, but she almost always comes to our group and joins us at the table. She loves to look at what people are working on and what I've knit that I might be wearing. I bring magazines that she will flip through, and the activities director often brings us tea and cookies to share. She usually falls asleep sometime mid-cookie.

After a couple months of coming, Marie showed up saying she'd like to try to knit. I was very excited! I whipped out some supplies and cast-on and knit a row for her. I sat behind her/next to her and I helped her through her first few stitches. I left her to work on it for just a minute while I helped someone else at the table untangle a mess, and when I turned back to her to see how she was doing.......



Ok. There's your bedtime story ;-)
And now *I* go to bed!!

This isn't the knitting retreat post, I know, I know.
I haven't quite adjusted to daily posting yet, 11 days into the month. I'll get the hang of it right around day 28, knowing me.


I lieu of that, I'd like to direct you to Bodies In Urban Spaces.
Here's a taste, but do click through on the above link, because the rest are really neato ;-)


Inspires me. Big time.

...as snow

Alrighty. I finally slapped on some lip gloss in the light of day, and took some photos of the big white yarn-y thing.

If you recall, it started off like this:

That's a really big coffee mug, and that makes it really big yarn.

Jodie asked if it was pencil roving, and it's not billed as such, but I'd say it's pretty darned close. It's actually Cascade Magnum, which is big, fat, Dr.Seuss-ish, 100% wool, low twist single.

Here's what I did with it:

"...as snow"

the pattern is Envy by John Brinegar
my ravelry project page ~ ravelry pattern link

Yarn: about 3/4 of a skein of Cascade Magnum in 10-Ecru
Needles: US 17
Start: Nov 7
Finish: Nov 9
(really though, I cast-on very late on the 7th and finished knitting on the 8th, but I didn't sew the buttons on 'til the next day--it really was quickie 1 day project)

I love this thing. It is squishy and warm and wonderful. It keeps my neck and chest toasty, but it's also wide enough that it cover that part of the upper back that my t-shirt neckline never manages to cover.
And it makes me feel fancy ;-)
And it also allowed me to finally make use of a few vintage lucite buttons that have been languishing in my stash waiting for just the perfect project.




I see more stuff like this on my horizon. I have been totally inspired by some fashion magazines, and I'm on a mission. I mean, I'm still knitting some socks and lace at the moment, but what I really want to be wearing right now is big fat chunky knits in neutral colors....so I must knit it! Let's see how many pieces I can crank out before I get sick of the look! ;-)

Shouldn't be too hard to bang out a few, though.
Yarn this big knits up FAST!

where has all the daylight gone...

...when will I ever learn?
(let's see how many of you are old enough to get that one! ha!)

Holy crap the days are shorter! By the time I had makeup on and a free moment to shoot pics of the (now finished) big white yarn-y thing, the daylight was gone! I will get it tomorrow. Promise.

Meanwhile, here is something else I knit recently that I haven't shared here on the blog yet.

Damson
from Whimsical Little Knits-2 by Ysolda Teague
My Ravelry Project Page ~ Ravelry Pattern Link ~ Pattern on Web

Yarn: less than a skein of Malabrigo Sock, Tiziano Red
Needles: US 6

Start: Sept 25th
Finish: Oct 21st
(it was actually a fairly quick knit, but I put it down to work on other projects...and to spin!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay. So tomorrow. Big white project thing. And the day after, I'm going to finally go back and tell y'all about that retreat with Nancy Bush and Sally Melville. Hold me to it.

and then bam! all of the sudden it's bedtime.

It feels like bedtime has sorta snuck up on me here, so I'm going just recap my day and leave it at that.

The morning was a bit of a blur, but somewhere in there I fed everyone, meditated with TheMostImportantGuy, and I think I may have helped MyFavoriteKid stay on track with homework.

I went to the spinning dream team class at A Verb for Keeping Warm.


Today we spun superfine merino wool 4-ways. A woolen 2-ply and 3-ply, and then a worsted 2-ply and 3-ply. Fun times.

I came home and I think there was something about roasting up several rounds of winter vegetables, putting away all the halloween decorations, cooking dinner, doing laundry, more homework encouragement, and then I finished knitting that over-sized white fluffy thing (more on that tomorrow,it's too dark now to take pics).



Most days it feels like I should be doing more.
Then I make a list like that.
Not bad for a Sunday, actually.

snaps on saturday

That mug is big and chunky.

Really. Big. Knitting.

Last night TheMostImportantGuy and I went to see one of my all time favorite bands in concert:

Múm
photo filched from their MySpace page
yo' my knitterly peeps! lookie!
not only do they make great music,
but they have awesome sweaters (the band is from Iceland)
AND they know how to hang with fiber producing animals!

I've seen the band perform before. Last night was no exception--they were totally amazing. Their music strikes such a chord with me that seeing it live just deepens my love for them. There's something about their music that just...well, let me just say that my eyes welled up with happy-tears no less than four times.

As I left the concert, I knew that I was going to want to blog about the show, but then I realized that I was going to have a really tough time trying to put it all into words.

I mean, they look like this:


...but they feel like this:

those last two shots taken by me
San Francisco '09 Independent

...and they sound like this:



When I came out of the show, the best I could come up with as a description was, "And then! And then! And then! There was a teeeeeny plastic piano...and it had a straw you blow through! And then the Ukelele Pixie and the Cello Fairy came and they danced! And it's like there is pixie dust! And then! And then! They all play kazooooos!!"

TheMIG just said, "Twinkly." Which he then amended to, "Plinky".

He's always more succinct.


Okay, well....if you liked the music, here's another one to send you off to sleep with :-)
G'night.

I Can't Feel My Hand Any More, It's Alright, Sleep Still.

Gang, thanks again for the mojo for Donna.
She sends her thanks, too (she's left comments on the last 2 previous posts for y'all).
Great job, too...'cuz apparently things are in motion!
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the years I have written about some of my very kooky neighbors and the things they put up their yards (obstructing-view tents or trampolines, anyone?!).

But I have another neighbor that I've never told you about before. Across the street and two houses down.

Yup. That's right.
That's an observatory.
IN my neighbors backyard!

Last night MyFavoriteKid and I were invited over to take a look at Jupiter.




How cool is THAT?!
I got lucky this time. Much better deal. ;-)

wee little friend

Many many many MANY thanks for all your well wishes yesterday/today. Good job, peeps!!

As for me today? I'm beat. Still sick. Still feeling run down.
Instead of whining, I offer you cuteness.

Oh, how I loooooove MyFavoriteKid's orthodontist!
You bring in your Halloween candy...

...and he trades it for "orthobucks".

That was 6 pounds of candy, guys (and that wasn't even all of it)...and MyFK got $30 Orthobucks (he also earns them by being on time for appointment and not breaking appliances and whatnot). MyFK saves up the bucks to purchase things from their little store. Stuff like giftcards for iTunes or video games, for example.

I'm thrilled that MyFK isn't going to be digging in to that much candy of course, but I'm really tickled that he let it go because I was starting to pick over his stash myself! Gah!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, onto the next thing:

Ladies and gentleman! Today I recieved a special request from my friend Donna (of the Chaos). She has asked for some good vibes to be sent her way, and not just from me. She asked me to post it to my blog.

Now, quite frankly, I'm not even sure who's out there reading this blog anymore...but if y'all are out there, and if you've been coming here for any amount of time, then you know how I feel about "The Mojo".

I don't care whatcha call it. Sending good vibes, visualizing, setting intentions, prayer, positive thinking, chanting, voodoo...whatever. They are all paths to the same point in my mind. And if any of you out there practice some version of this? Well, this is a request to roll up yer sleeves and move some energy around.

Donna has asked for me to "mojo-ize" (tm) (hahahaha) two things. I'm gonna toss in a third thing she aint even askin' for (directly), but let's address her stated requests first.

The first thing she's working on is improving the school situation for her teenage son. He is one very smart (and very cool) kid. The current school situation is not serving him well at all. The classes and the classroom support he needs no longer exist. There are also safety issues (incidents included) in getting him too and from the school. I'll keep it general, but let's just say it's been scary. Scary enough for Donna to ask for you all to help, and scary enough for me to do it. Donna is being a true MamaBear, and she is "on it" and doing all the legwork. She and her son have done all of the beuracratic hoop jumping required to get him into a better situation, but as of today (they just interviewed at the new school), they are now in the waiting game phase while their request is being decided upon.
Mojo-ize!

The second thing she nees help with is an employment situation. She'd been let go from her job earlier in the year, and is now working with someone very close to her to help them start up a new company. Problem there? The new company is stuck in it's beuracratic bullshit, as well....and if licenses don't get approved and things don't get rubber stamped pretty quickly, the new company is not going to make it. Donna seems more worried about the company and it's founder than her position, but I vote we do mojo for both.
Mojo-ize!

I guess really we could all just keep it sort of global. Just imagine everything getting approved. There. That oughta do it.

Okay, and now the third request. From me. She has not asked for help on this one, but she's not really the type to ask for things for herself. Donna's a knitter who is not knitting!!! Her wrist is hurting. I can't remember what caused it (sorry, Donna)...but she did make a couple of humungous Tunisian Crochet comforters recently (out of acrylic yarn), and well....maybe that didn't help much LOL. Whatever caused it, I dunno...but all fiberistas need their creative outlet, especially in trying times. I vote we visualize Donna knitting, pain free.
Mojo-ize!
(you sick of that yet??)


Anyhow. You can do this little favor in just a snap of your fingers, and you can do it quiet-like, or you can leave a note here, or on her blog if you want...or not. Just vibe it!! And thank you so much for chipping in. Thank you thank you. She's good peeps, and she's a bit overdue in the receiving of goodness department.
Besides, when you send it out, all comes back anyhow, ya' know? ;-)

a lil' weekend overview

This past weekend my friend TheBon of CatharticInk & Hubby rolled into town for a little visit. Friday night TheMostImportantGuy and I met with them in San Francisco to see this dude.


Great fun.
It was a bit epic getting to and from the show, however. Up until this morning, one of the primary bridges in and out of San Francisco had been closed due to damage (6-7 days of commuter hell, basically).

The next morning, we regrouped at my house for a day of lounging and visiting and lots of noshing. I don't know how I managed to not get one single picture of us folk (actually, I do know how....I've been sick since the middle of last week, and I was tired from the show and busy cooking)...but I mean, I even had the camera out for crying out loud! Look! I managed to snap a pic of the bread TheBon+Hubby had brought back for us from their visit to Boudin Bakery.


Somewhere around dusk MyFavoriteKid readied himself to go over to his buddy's and partake in a little trick-o-treatin':


Kinda creeps me out, really. Not sure if it shows up well here, but the red-eye reduction didn't work, so it's even freakier.

Sunday was breakfast before TheBon+Hubby headed back home, and then I was off to Part 2 of a weaving class that I took at A Verb For Keeping Warm.


We had warped the looms to produce a fabric long enough to be a scarf, but because I was so sick during the week, I failed to complete my homework for second class where we learned how to finish it all off. So instead of a scarf, I have a swatch. Or maybe I'll cut it in half and add some bias tape to make a couple of coasters LOL. I enjoyed the weaving, but I don't own a loom. Yet.

After the class, TheMIG and I headed back over to the city again (still the long route, due to the bridge closure) to see an electronic industrial band we really dig called Skinny Puppy (<--I wouldn't click through on that unless you are a bit of a freak, like me). Just look at the creepy dark photo I took instead.

Super great show. Except at one point I ventured out of my wheelchair and onto my crutches to get a closer look, and immediately proceeded to slip in a puddle of spilled cocktails, giving myself a nice black-purple-green kneecap. Yay, me. I sat back in the gimp section with an ice pack staring at this guy's head for the rest of the night.

Kinda Dr.Seuss-ish, don't you think?


K, so...that was my weekend. Friends, fun, food, tissues and cough drops, more fun, traffic inconveniences, fiber, injuries....nice and well rounded, no?

Now, how was your weekend?

feast or famine

All or nothing.
When it rains it pours.
Last year I did Blog 365.
This year has been quite scant.
And every year (except the first year), since I have been keeping a blog, I have participated in National Blog Posting Month...


...more affectionately known as NaBloPoMo (which was originally a November "thang", but now it looks like they do it year round with themes and whatnot).

This year will be no exception.

Get ready, 'cuz here I come...

behind, but for a good reason

There are posts coming, I swear....but last week got a little chaotic (what else is new), and then there was no internet access for me this past weekend, because I was on a retreat with these two fabulous ladies:

Nancy Bush & Sally Melville

It was not at all a restful retreat. It was cram-packed with fun and knitting and new techniques and new friends and and and....and I'm exhausted.

But I now know how to make a proper nupp ;-)

*sound of crickets chirping*

When the only comments you get on your blog are Japanese spam, it's a pretty good sign that you are long overdue for a post.

a bouquet from T.Joe's that I couldn't resist buying for myself

I haven't been compelled to write because basically I have been "Happy About NOTHING" (even a ten-buck bouquet couldn't fix it)...and I get sick of hearing myself kvetch.

To be honest, my life is pretty damn great, and I do recognize that fact on a daily basis. I am grateful for many many many things, and I am also present enough to see several of life's daily little miracles.

But in between the shining moments of gratitude and presence??
DUDES! I am SO bogged down in the mire!!!
Ugh.



I've got a couple of posts percolating. Hope to be back shortly. Rather than longly ;-)

the last time I did this....

...was when I had two legs.






I was pleased to find out that the local bowling alley has a ramp at one end of the lanes and that they allow wheelchairs. Good news for me, because I'd been trying to imagine bowling on crutches, and I just couldn't see it happening without my ending up flat on my ass (my balance is fantastic, but my right arm is also a bit jacked up from the car accident).

I tried blowing from a seated position in the wheelchair, but felt like I was swinging out too far to clear the wheel and getting a curve on the ball that I couldn't seem to compensate for. I'm certain with practice that it can be done, but since I have one working leg, I decided to try it standing up. I'd roll up to the line, stand up, and pivot the wheelchair facing away from me at a 90-degree angle. Basically my left hip was between the two handles meant for someone to be able to push me (except I rarely get pushed---I used those to hang my purse! LOL). In this configuration I was able to hold onto the handle of the chair with my left hand, and still be able to lean my hip to the left a bit where the soft fabric back of the chair was, and then off she goes!

I had so much Fun! I didn't get a very high score, but it wasn't because I'm a gimp now. I sucked as a bowler when I had two legs, so no surprises there ;-)

~~~~~~~~~~
photo credit: TheMostImportantGuy

Ya' know, I wouldn't even bother reading this post. I'd just go back and read each other's comments to the last post. You all are far more entertaining than I am! Thank you ALL for your replies. They were awesome! (special shout out to one of you at the end, though)

While I was pondering what to do about the shawl, I just went ahead and banged out an entirely different project...

Netherfield Mara
Ravelry project page * pattern * amazingly beautiful yarn
started Aug 24, complete Aug 31

....and since I rarely flash my mug here, I'll toss this one in for shits and giggles:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other fiber-y things I tinkered with while pondering the shawl:

Daily spinning on the wheel in an attempt to achieve sock yarn.

By jove, I think she's got it!
(maybe)
(let's wait until I ply and knit a sample though)


I also started a pair of socks.

This is a "Mystery Knit Along", where only a portion of the pattern is being released weekly during the month of September. Nobody knitting knows what the final product will look like, but we're all knitting it in some form of yellow. The reason I took up this Knit-Along is because the designer, Nancy Bush, is one of the teachers on the retreat I am attending next month. I'm so excited about going I can hardly wait, so I figured a fun way to pass the time would be to knit something she designed.

So far the pattern has been pretty great because I've learned two new techniques...an Estonian Cast-On, and a vikkel braid (that lateral braid right next to the needles there. Total coolness. I love it so much that I might just be tossing random vikkel braids onto every single thing I knit from this day forward).

One other fiber related thing I did this past week (while I was avoiding fixing the shawl), was to fix another project that I've had sitting idle.

Pretty cute sweater, eh? Yah? Well it also had a boo-boo, and it was smack dab in the middle of the back of the sweater. I didn't notice the mistake sooner because I swear to you that you could not see the mistake from the outside. I only saw it when I was trying on the sweater for fit and saw it on the inside of the sweater. Of course, like my other projects, once I saw the mistake, I set it aside until I could work up the gumption to fix it.

*sigh*

For the record, I do know how to drop down and fix a mistake.


I just don't always have a block of time long enough to actually sit down and do it. I even know how to drop down through a mess of lace. I had to do that on the corner section on the border of Desdemona, and that even had lace action every row. I just don't enjoy dropping down along the edge of lace project where all the YO's and dec's line up (that would be a row of holes and angles, for the muggles out there). It's do-able, but it's a big fat drag.

Anyhow, the verdict on the shawl is that I am going to take it off the needles, rip back several rows, get it back on the needles, and resume. I just need an hour with a flat surface and no interuptions to get that done, and I can't seem to find that time.

Ok, I can't seem to MAKE that time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now I don't mean to exclude anyone out there, because as I said, ALL the comments were great, and they ALL made me think and/or were quite supportive of me and my knitting struggles. But I DO need to give a special shout out to Jodi, though.

See, the question at hand was not so much about if I should fix it, or if I could fix it, or even how I should fix it, but it was about how fixing it or not fixing it was overlapping with lessons from my spiritual life. Two conflicting lessons, and lessons that I am only barely muddling my way through.

My spiritual practice is based in Buddhism, by the way....and I spend much time "exercising" on the "path of comapssion".

So Jodi writes:
"....fix it just to spare your friends and loved ones having to endure you pointing out each and every flaw."

I read that and totally cracked up laughing.

So, yah. I am going to fix the shawl. Not for me. But so that I spare y'all from having to listen to me.
One very compassionate act ;-)

so which will it be?

I've written about this before (and so have so many other folks, not just knitters): when we are immersed enough in a hobby, the "hobby lessons" often parallel the "life lessons" that come up in other parts of our worlds.

Well, it took my knitting to point this out to me, but it is becoming clear that at least a couple of my "life lessons" may just be at odds with one another.

Here's an example, At present, I am knitting a shawl.

See? There I was yesterday, a slow Sunday morning spent in North Beach, lavishly knitting over brunch and a cappuccino, when I notice this:


For those of you that don't knit, that arrow points to a place where there should be a lacy little hole. That space is supposed to look like it's neighbors. It does not. Not a huge deal. It certainly does not impact the shawl's wearability. Actually, once the shawl is wrapped around me you'd probably not even see it.

The problem, however, is that even though you might not know the mistake is there, I know that the mistake is there.

Oooo, let me pause for a footnote.
Maybe this is a good time for me to mention that this exact same knitting error occurred on another shawl I started back in spring, and that poor dear hasn't seen the light of day since I realized it.


But let's forget about that, and get back to the current shawl.


Ok, so I notice the mistake. Now comes the point where I try to decide what I am going to do about it.

* I could leave the mistake there. This would tie into the "life lesson" I have been working on since childhood that has to do with issues surrounding perfectionism in allllllllll it's various forms. Some favorite versions are pushing myself to ridiculousness to be perfect, believing that I even have to and can be perfect, not attempting something for fear I will not do it perfectly, feeling like a complete failure for coming close, but not perfect...blah blah blah. To be honest with you, at age 42, I've worked most of this out of myself by now. Not so much with my knitting though, it seems....and now wouldn't this wee little mistake that nobody will ever see, would this not be a good exercise for me? Might this not be a good time for me to "practice letting go" of the need to be perfect? Perhaps.

But then there is the other option, of course:

* I could fix it. This would tie into the "life lesson" I seem to be working on right now which is that if I see something that needs to be done, the "right action" would be to do it. It's got something to do with "follow through". For example, if I recognize I am thirsty, I should drink (I wrote about this at lenght, and damn if I can find the post). If Ellie asks me for a hat, I should knit it. If I know the mistake in my shawl will always catch my eye, and it is in my power to fix it (which it is--it will just be a pain in the arse for an hour or so), then the right action IS to fix it. No?

See?
DILEMMA.
Do I practice letting go? Do I practice right action and fix it? Or is it maybe that the right action is to not do things that feed my drive to be a perfectionist? Ha!

I'm sooooo open to opinions on this one people, so have it.


I can tell you that I DID cast-on for a new shawl today though....
hahahahahaha
Some patterns never die.