while we're at it, one more

my great grandparents ;-)

present and vintage family

Great day with the cousin. We got up early and took a little driving/sightseeing tour of the town, and then we dropped Teeny off at my parents for some dog-sitting (she's still on meds and supposed to be resting).  Then my cousin and I took his 8 month old standard poodle Manou and my other dog Riley for to what we refer to as the CrazyCrazyDogPark.  

We had brunch at the dog park at the "Sit & Stay Cafe", and then we let the dogs go bananas running around like crazies.  Meanwhile, we talked a whole lot....and we caught each other up on ....well, our whole lives, basically!

We came back home, looked through some of the things my Grammy had left after she passed that he was so graciously delivering (he's an angel for taking that on). A bit later my folks came over and we all had a lovely dinner.

Oh, but before dinner was drinks and an appetizer while we waited for TheMostImportantGuy to make it home from work.  While we sipped and noshed, all sorts of awesome old photos were being whipped out.  My favorite of them all was this one:
 

That's my Great Grandparents (my dad's mother's parents), 

Nathan and Rosa

This picture tickles me to no end. 
That being said, every picture of Bubbie & Zadie tickles me to no end ;-)

cousin time!

I'm busy being the hostess with the mostess!! 

good day, bad day

Well, good thing yesterday was good.
Today?
Not so good.

 

Poor Teeny.  At the vet today.  In her special blankie. Racking up another $500+ vet bill. 

I am not kidding. Over the past two years, this dog has proven herself to be the most expensive pet I have ever had, and she is the tiniest. I guess you don't pay by the pound when it comes to dogs, do ya'.

It's her back. She has a couple of slightly flattened discs in her thoracic vertebrae (the lowest ones that are still attached to the ribs, sort of the middle of back for her).  The discs might be the problem, or she may have just really pulled something (doing something stupid like jumping off high furniture chasing after Riley when he goes nuts because there is some wildlife in the yard).  Only time will tell if its the muscles or the discs.  Meanwhile, I'm supposed to make sure she's not jumping up and down or making any sudden movements (yah. right.) for a few weeks.

Just when I got home from the vet and got her all settled in, I got a call from the convalescent facility telling me that James is being transported back to the hospital-hospital due to some really low numbers with his kidneys.  Odd, because I'd seen him only a few hours earlier!  When Teeny was at the vet and they said they'd have to keep her for a couple of hours to do x-rays and check her kidneys, I used that time to make a visit to James. He looked great! 

After I got off the phone with the convalescent hospital I just stood in my kitchen and yelled. At no one in particular. Well, maybe I was yelling at the universe.  MyFavoriteKid came out of his room because he thought I was yelling at him for forgetting to do something.  

Nope. 

I was just yelling. 

Felt good.

And then I heated up some of that soup.

Which felt good, too.

I don't always remember to take care of myself when I'm busy taking care of others, so soup is progress.  Actually, my therapist suggested that perhaps I might start "collecting soups".... hahaha!  She said I didn;t have to make them. Just pick up some good once from restaurants or a deli or gourmet market or something.  

I can see it now.   "Hello! My name is AmpuTeeHee, I am 46 years old, a single mom, and my hobbies include dancing, and knitting, and soup collecting."  hahahahaha

Can you tell I am getting tired and goofy?!  *sigh*

Well, I expect the next few days to be rather interesting.  Dopey medicated doggy on restriction, a trip or two the hospital, my cousin visiting for a couple of days, and a family dinner to host on Wednesday. 

Wait! I know! SOUP FOR EVERYONE!!! hahahaha

a good sunday

Wow, after that long day yesterday accompanying the kids on their competition, I "slept in" (and that's in quotes, because sleeping in only meant sleeping until 8:30am, but that's late for me!) and I woke up feeling like I had a hangover. But I didn't even drink yesterday!  I felt trashed most of the day, and I wasn't even the one competing yesterday!  I can't imagine how the kids must feel.

After a late breakfast, MyFavoriteKid headed off with his dad for their band practice together (rock band, with their first gig with MyFK as dummer set for mid-November).  TheMostImportantGuy and I went up to Napa and stocked up on groceries because my cousin is coming to visit this week.

We took a break in the middle of our shopping excursion for some lunch.

So great was the fake hangover feeling that I couldn't even consider pairing my lunch with a cerveza or margarita.

This place had some wacky-chic Mexicano decor.

My crappy cell phone pic doesn't show well that framed the Giants baseball jersey actually says "Gigantes"...hahaha! Awesome :-)

After shopping we came back home to YeOlHaus, I did some much neglected housework and laundry, and I also made two big pots of soup for us to dig into for the next few days.  A banged out a really delicious veggie lentil soup, and then I experimented with a mushroom miso soup that turned out so great it just about knocked my sock(s) off. I love fall!! Soup season!!


This week will be a bit busy, but fun. The cousin visiting is actually my dad's first cousin.  He just moved to Portland, and he was gracious enough to go up to Washington the week after Grammy passed to pick up several items that she left for family members.  This week he is taking a little tour of California delivering items to my family, and then he is headed down to Southern California to make more deliveries to his sister and one of my first cousins.  He might even stop and stay with us on his return trip back home.  I don't know him nearly as well as I would like to, and I plan to remedy that this week!

Alrighty, it's time for me to pack up the soups now that they have cooled, and catch some more much needed zzz's.....

snaps on saturday

Ahhhh, the first Fall Season Marching Band Competition....

....and look at all those hungry hardworking kids in line for dinner (I think we have 117 total!).

Super long day.  I was up with MyFavoriteKid at 8am helping him get ready and he started practice at 10am. TheMostImportantGuy and I ran errands, got our portion of the group food together, and then we met up with the other band parents around 1pm. I am posting this remotely using my phone from the event site, and after we pack up and drive home, we probably wont get there until about 1am! Ouch!

 MyFK's band was 1 of 7 in their category.  The band and color guard took 5th place overall....but the percussion section???  They took the trophy for "High Percussion" in their category!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(if you are wondering why there are so many exclamation points, it's because MyFK plays snare drum in the percussion ensemble! woohoo!)

I am so proud of them. They battery section meets separately for extra rehearsals, and their extra effort and dedication have really paid off.


Two more big competitions to go....

catbird seat

a significant change of status

Hang around here long enough, and you'll finally get some content, right?  LOL

I know there have been a lot of fluffy "filler-ish" type posts here lately, and I'm sorry for that, but behind the scenes, I am really busy working through A TON of stuff.  Some of it's logistical and has had me a in a time-sucking vacuum, but a lot of it has been emotional, and I have been left feeling quite drained.

Grab a Cup o' Joe. It's a long one.
A little rambly, too. Sorry.



For those who are new here, I am a volunteer with an organization that matches you up to do one-on-one visits with people in convalescent hospitals that don't get visitors.  I started volunteering when I was 23 or 24 (?) and I'm now 46 (gah. nearly half my life!!). Over the years, most of my matches have been short term (the longest was 1 year).  This latest match has been different, though. I have been visiting James for 9 years.  You can pick up the tone of our relationship in posts like this one, or this one, or this one (that last one is oddly related to this post, actually)....and there are probably a few other posts I have made over the years that I cant put my finger on right now. I swear that somewhere I have posted a photo of James, but I just can't spot it.  Feel free to have yourself a little scavenger hunt ;-)  Sort of a Where's Waldo, I guess.

Anyhow.
Here's the poop.

Last Thursday, James went back into the "hospital-hospital" (as we call it, to differentiate from the "convalescent hospital", where he is a permanent resident).  I never got a call when he went into the ICU because I am not family. I had to find out from James himself once he was able to use the phone.  He called to let me know as soon as he got out of the ICU and was moved to a regular room.  He told me he was sent to the hospital, "because he was having trouble breathing due to all the fluid in his tummy, and they drained 5 liters off, and it wasn't all gone, but he was feeling much better."

That call with James took place Friday evening. I called him Saturday and he sounded like he was feeling better and in good spirits. Of course, I can't ask the nurse for a medical update. Well, I can ask. But they wont tell me anything. Because I am not family.

Well, it was Sunday afternoon when I got a phone call from his doctor saying that even though I wasn't family or legally listed as able to speak for him, James had asked the doctor to call me and explain what was happening because he didn't understand, and he knew that I would help him make sense of it all.

Much of what I was heard was new to me. I was told by the doctor that James has End Stage Congestive Heart Failure, and this was being accelerated by kidney failure. The general gist is that his heart is pumping around 50%, his kidneys are now around 50% as well, he has a persistent infection in his foot (complicated by diabetes) that has resulted in having two different surgeries over the past year or so to remove parts of his foot (and he'd already lost a leg 10 years ago).  He's filling up with fluid that his kidneys can't precess, and it's leaking everywhere. It's in is abdomen, lungs, and basically just all of his organs and tissues like a sponge. They can't get any more off surgically, and they can't it off with medication because nothing is circulating well. The heart is not pumping the blood enough to get the meds distributed throughout his body (especially to his extremities), and his kidneys aren't doing their job to filter the blood, either. And he's not really a good candidate for dialysis given everything else that is going on.  

It's sort of a perfect storm.  A very sucky, very complicated storm.

And James can't make sense out of what the doctors are saying because there are so many specialists coming and going, and he's exhausted from being woken up every time he dozes off by a nurse or a doctor, and the information being given is so great that he can't absorb it all. So the doctor asks if I could please come in and support him on Monday and Tuesday, because he is going to have a meeting with a Palliative Care Team and it might be overwhelming for him.

Well, of course I was there for those meetings.  I've been at the hospital every day this week, actually.  Sometimes more than once each day. Not only have I been in even more meetings than I was warned about, I've also had a few conference calls with James' sister on the line as well. 

And so. Here it is. Thursday.  And I am now the Durable Power Attorney for Health Care for James.

(I know some of you are yelling "finally" at the screen, but please don't let me hear you. I had to be quite ready within myself to take this on.  I mean....it's....ummm...kinda huge.... and I have a whole host of responsibilities of my  own already, and it's usually you same "finally people" out there that are the first to nag at me to cut back on commitments so I can take care of myself better, so just shut yer traps!  LOLOL)

I'm not taking on James' financial stuff (I am only signing on to manage the health care). His sister is still going to need to deal with his finances.  James' sister is 17 years younger than him. She loves him, but she also barely knows him. She remembers him going off into the military when she was a very little girl, and then she remembers that when he came back, he married someone that their mother and her father (James' stepdad) didn't approve of, so after that he basically kept a distance.  James' sister cares about him, but she's 300+ miles away, and she cant look into his eyes and see what he needs, nor does she feel she knows him as well as I do, and James is the first to agree.  He's been asking me to speak for him for a couple of years, and I just wasn't ready.

I have to be honest. On some level, I feel like I had to accept this responsibility. When it all comes down to it....if I do not step in and help James with the medical piece, he is going to be flying blind. It is not in my nature to leave someone I care about in that state. Heck, it's really not even in my nature to leave someone I DO NOT care about in that state! (you hear that, InvisibleSister??! Oh, and happy belated birthday! Sheesh.)  And I don't have it in me to know that James will be alone in his last hours because I might not be allowed to be with him, and he might not be able to talk at that point and ask for what he needs.

*sigh* this is all so hard

Ok. So.
This week, James started asking me if I would please speak on his behalf once he couldn't do so any longer. That's when I pretty much realized I don't know him all that well...I might not eve know him any better than his sister!  I mean, I do know some things. I know that I can "read" him pretty easily, and I can tell when he is upset even when he is trying not to say so.  I know what questions to ask to get to the root of what is bothering him or to figure out what his needs are.  But never in our 9 together years have we ever talked about feeding tubes, "do not resuscitate" instructions, whether or not he believes in organ donation for himself, cremation versus burial, etc.  That's just not what we do with our time together! I visit him to cheer him up, man!  We talk about what movies he watched on Netflix that week, or about what he's reading. He asks me about what I'm knitting, he follows along with stories about my family (most of whom he has met over the years, including my late grandmother), and he asks about how the house and the remodeling are going.  We have light conversation. We chit-chat. We don't talk about death. Who in this (crazy upside down) society talks about death??! (we are so weird).

This week our visits have been nothing like light chit chat, let me tell you.  This week has been the crap-ton of meetings I described a few paragraphs ago, followed by two hard days of "getting to know you" discussions on a whoooole new level, so I could help him fill out his Advance Health Care Directives forms. Then I needed to deal with getting his ID in my hot little hands (which of course was not with him at the hospital-hospital, and I wasn't authorized yet to go into his convalescent hospital room and take something)....but I needed him to have his ID so I could bring in a mobile notary to notarize the documents we were filling out. Bah.  I got 'er done, but it was epic.




I'm exhausted. Partially from all the driving back and forth (he's 30-45 minutes away), but mostly from the energy it takes me to "hold space" for a person who is hearing that they probably only have 6 months to a year to live and that they aren't going to get any better and that they really should try to "take care of a few things" (no matter how hard it is) and before they can no longer think clearly.  Joyous. Right?  *sigh*

It was a whole lot of tough conversations for James and I, but I am so glad we got it done. 

You know, I am fully capable of speaking on James' behalf.  And I'm fully capable of honoring his wishes.  But up until a few days ago, I also had no friggin' idea about what his wishes are, and as we dipped our toes into the waters of these difficult topics, it became clear to me immediately that what I would want for myself, or even what I might wish for him, are not at all the same things.  He has a whole different set of cultural beliefs about dying than I do, that's for sure. I'm sort of in the "fling my ashes anywhere" category, and if you are a good listener, I'll send you messages from the other side ;-) I'm in the camp that says, "don't keep me alive on machines for an extended period if I am completely gone."  James is more in the "I need my ashes near my family's ashes" category, and he believes that since we can't prove what happens after death, it must just be that we go in the ground. He's also camped out in the keep me alive no matter what, category...because they might figure out some way to fix me. (this has changed since the meetings with the docs...he is now opting to be let go once his heart stops...and that was a very hard thing for him to come to)

Neither thinking is right or wrong, neither is good or bad, but holy cow, are they different positions! And so my job in all of this is to know him and his desires, inside and out, so that I can make sure his needs and desires are met, whether I agree with them or not.

It's been a bit of work for me to do that.  Not only getting to know him better, but widening my own belief system to not just accept his beliefs, but to be willing to accept them to the point of being willing to move into action and honor things I don't exactly believe in.  It's sort of wild.  He's choosing for himself some things that I think may increase his suffering. And I am going to need to honor that. 

After 3 days of meetings and paperwork and very hard conversations and a few tears and some hugs and hand holding....I know I can do it.  I know what he wants, and I know I have it in me to stand by him as he works his way through his choices.  And I know how to be there for him and see if he's changing his mind as he goes along about anything.   

Again, it's wild. And I actually can't wait to watch me in action. I think I'll be a super-star, but it's something I've never done before, so it's really going to be a trip and a half.



I have more to say on the topic, volumes, I am sure....but I'm beat.
And more new things to say about all of this will come up over the next few months, as his health shifts, too. 

I think it's safe to assume you'll be hearing more about this over the next few month, so stay tuned. 






 

i know i'm supposed to focus on the message, but....

....it's really hard sometimes to do that while I'm laughing my ass off.

And yes.
I know.
I'm on the fastrack to hell.

lonely hearts club

Filched from my own Facebook page, so pardon if you've seen it already (because after two Redd's Apple Ales I cant come up with anything more creative!).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lonely Hearts Club. That's what we call it when you are the only one to show up at Knit Night. Which is at a sports bar. So at least I'm knitting and having a cold one with CardboardCowboy!

 It's not so bad being the President of The Lonely Hearts Club after all.  A) I'm actually getting some knitting done  B) We're a small knitting group and we've all had a term as President, it's only fair  C) Not Only amd I with CardboardCowboy, but I'm also wtih FlatCheerleader and SmallScaleNascarChic!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the end, it wasn't lonely at all.  TheMostImportantGuy showed up for a beer and a veggie burger, and he shared his fries ;-)

daily ritual

Every morning the chihuahua is the last one out of bed.

Is she sticking her tongue out at me, or what?!?!

soap!

All around good weekend.
One of today's highlights was taking a soap making class at the Vallejo People's Garden!

snaps on saturday

Compliments of TheMostImportantGuy....

...drinks on the patio with Rocky and Riley

hey!

Hey! What are all those football players doing on the marching field?!?!?!!

(hehe)

way back a million years ago...

...when I started this blog, part of my plan was to keep track of all the stupid things people say to me (a person with a visible disability).

I kid you not, it is daily. It's way too predictable. Seriously. There is not one single day that goes by that someone doesn't say something to me about missing a leg, and usually what they say is stupid. (sorry, but it's true. and to all you stupid people out there, I do forgive you LOL) 

But. For all the stupid shit that has been said to me.... every once in awhile, someone says something that makes me smile.

Today I went grocery shopping after teaching knitting at the senior center. I parked my car at the supermarket.  Before I even put my car in park I spotted the guy out of the corner of my eye.  An older guy. I'd even very affectionately call him TheOldCoot type of guy.  He was standing in an awkward spot right outside the door smoking a cigarette (it turns out he was waiting for someone he was with to come out).  I got out of the cab by using my crutches and I crutched to the rear of my car so I could unload my wheelchair out of my hatchback (I have a Honda CRV).  I could feel him watching me, and I could feel him trying to decide whether or not to offer help.  I could see the outline of him stepping in closer to assist, and I could see him stopping himself when he was seeing I wasn't going to need any help.  I got my wheelchair out, opened it up, sat in it, pulled down the hatchback door. Rolled back up to the cab of my car to get my purse and shopping list, and I thought for sure I was going to just get into the store without him saying a word, but then he opened his mouth and sounds starting coming out and I thought to myself "Oh, lordy...here we go. Here comes the stupid."

"You look live you've done that a thousand times."

"Man, I wish it was only a thousand times! But it's been way more than that."

"Well....you aint lettin' any moss grow between yer toes there now, is ya'."


I don't know why exactly.
But I loved that. Totally.

And nope. No moss here ;-)

my knitterly dilemma

Please tell me I am not the only one this happens to.

I have a whoooole lotta yarn in my stash.  I have a pattern I want to knit.  And I don't enough yardage of the right type of yarn in a color that works for the project.  How is it possible that if I want to knit this thing, that I need to buy more yarn?!

*sigh*

i wish i looked this cute right now

Unfortunately I have crashed much harder than that.
Exhausted is an understatement.

let's spray for dancers in here, okay?

...I think they live in the rafters. 

bwahahahahaha!



I laugh my ass off every time I see this.

leftovers on sunday

More Snaps On/From Saturday.  We had gone to the Vallejo Art Windows event last night, where empty shop windows (and sadly, there are quite a few) were filled with all sorts of interesting local art!  During the tour hours, the artists held meet and greets out front of their displays.  A few art cars were spotted on the streets as well.

This artist had some really amazing photos taken on Mare Island....man, I'd love to have one some day on our wall at TheNewDiggs (go Vallejo!).

I loved this little ditty. It was a contraption made out of all sorts of old bits and bobs of machinery and toys, and it was wired up to make sounds a had lots of components with flashing lights. 

Buddha head on an altar with ninja tiger and friend....hahahaha

I know I'm an odd one, but I just loved this one.  It was a skeleton lady watching tv, and skeleton man painting a portrait (he had a long handlebar-ish moustache made out of a mop for something). Kooky. Right up my ally.

And one of the art cars.


Lots of people walking around, taking it all in....including MyFavoriteKid and his three buddies, whom I'd had over for the whole weekend. Lots o' teenage boy energy around the house, let me tell you!  It's really great to host them over at TheNewDiggs.  There's so much more space there for them to spread out, and I was actually able to go to bed early and sleep through them staying up watching movies into the wee hours, because the place is laid out so well.  Damn, I can't wait until I can actually live there full time. It's just so easy to be there. It's got an awesome flow.

I had a nice time at TheNewDiggs while I was there this weekend. TheMostImportantGuy and I spent some time a project we've been waiting to tackle in the livingroom.  We're working on a cool system for displaying family photos, and I think once we're done the results are going to be fantastic.  We also got out all of the Halloween decorations (my absolute favorite holiday to decorate for!!).  We watched a movie projected onto the wall with the kids last night, and then another movie just the two of this afternoon while chilling on the couch.  There might have been a cocktail or two involved.  Oh, and I got to play with my knitting and my darling barbeque grill for a bit this weekend, too :-)  

It's been a good long while since I have felt even a small pocket of  time to just chill and relax and enjoy a little unstructured time.  Happy :-)

snaps on saturday

self preservation

I have a story, but I'm going to have to owe you that story.  For tonight, it's 10pm and I am just not feeling quite right....so I'm tucking myself in....toot sweet!

I made two more shopping deliveries today to people at home not feeling well, and one of them had "the plague", as she called it.  Well, I am either showing signs of catching it....or actually, I might just be showing signs of not having had enough sleep, doing too much in one day today, and perhaps I might not be responding well to all the smoke in the air from nearby fires (I can indeed smell it, plus we've had a lot wind here, too).

Whatever is going on, I don't feel as well as I should, and I don't have the luxury of down time, so I have to see if I can get some rest and get ahead of this bugger!! 
Not much going on tomorrow (yay!) so I will have time for actually sitting and writing something by the light of day for a change!

Nighty night, loves...

takes one to know one

Tonight I delivered a bag of groceries to a friend who is under the weather.  She met me on her porch for the food swap, but didn't invite me in, I think because she was worried her place was a mess.

There was no need to fear judgement. Little did she know she was accepting a delivery from a woman who had just finished a dinner of cereal eaten right out of the box while driving. Ha.

haaaaalllllp!!!

College Fair at the high school tonight.

I am so not ready for this.


edited for clarity:  Oh, I'll be plenty ready for MyFavoriteKid to go off to college. What I'm NOT ready for is the pile of paperwork and logistics that are going to have to be navigated to get him there!

its the little things that make me laugh

As seen at tonight's local KnitNight (which happens to meet at the back area of a sports cafe)....
the posted scores of the last game of darts:

 Brohemoth v Brofessor 

hahahaha

i love the winter sky

This is the time of year that I step outside late at night (when I should be sleeping *ahem*) to take a peek at what will soon become the winter sky.  It's my favorite time of year for stargazing and spotting familiar constellations.

I think this year I should try to identify a few new ones.

a little more knitting

I finally finished knitting up some socks that had fallen by the wayside.

They're for TheMostImportantGuy. I picked a very classic-ish pattern and yarn, as he is in need of dress socks to go with his new fancy business clothes.

Of course, being the very rare Sunday with zero commitments (?!), the only modeled shot I could get was one of him wearing them....

...in his pj's  ;-)
It'll do!

Knitterly details here.

snapless saturday

Ok, I know that this totally lands in the TMI category, but deal with it.

That bad landing on my bum on Thursday?? It is now a good 8 or 9 inch square bruise on my arse that is black. I think TheMostImportantGuy is worried a chunk of my rear end might die and fall off.

While he worries, I however, I have taken to constantly remarking about how my butt-ocks hurt, and since I can't write inflection here very well, know that I am saying butt-ocks ala Forest Gump.





And don't tell me "you'd kinda like to see that," either...because I'd probably show you.

busy! knitting!

Needles a clickin'.  Working on finishing up some long languishing projects.
And watching Shakespeare on PBS.
And leaning on my right bummcheek, cuz the left one looks and feels like it might fall off!

lopsided.

Well, I done diddit.  For the first time ever, I fell getting out of the shower tonight, while trying to do a quick rinse before dashing to dance class.  I put the bathmat in a different place than usual (because I thought I was so damn smart), and as soon as I set my wet foot down on the floor, it came right out from underneath me.  My arse came crashing down, and my left bumm-cheek crashed down on the shower threshold.  You  know, the thing with the metal door jamb?

Lovely.

After flopping around like a wet seal trying to get up off the floor for a few, I got myself dressed and out the door to dance class, and that's when it finally hit me:  I could barely sit.  I'm sure being mildly in shock explains why I didnt think to grab an ice pack or some muscle rub. I did a bummcheck in the mirror in the studio, and it's already a multi-colored extravaganza.

I am soooo glad I didn't slip further before landing and hit my sacrum or low back.  No bones involved....I landed squarely on my more than adequately padded backside.   It's a bit of bummer it didnt happen on the other buttcheek though. I dont use my right leg, it aint even there!! But my left leg (ie my only leg) is attached to that buttcheek and OhMyGosh it's already hurting every time I stand. 

I'm back home and on ice.  Nothing like an icy bumm at bedtime...woot!

my morning entertainment

My favorite funny moment from today:

MyFavoriteKid asked me for a ride to school this morning, and as I was dropping him off, walking in front of our car was a gal wearing black and white striped skinny jeans (sort of wide even stripes, like a court jester)....and a blouse with a floral print that sort of resembled your grandma's tablecloth or something....and some really weird looking sort of moccasin boots....

and I said, "Oh. My. Gawd. Will you look at what she is wearing?! Someone needs to do an intervention, the poor dear...."

and MyFK says. "Oh. Ha! It's Spirit Week for Homecoming this week, and today is 'Fashion Disaster Day' ".



He doesn't know this, but after MyFK got out of the car and walked away, I pulled over into the lot and watched more kids come. Heh ;-)

the little train (ok, knitting) that could

I feel pretty ridiculous posting that I have finished knitting something when it's only a silly little seed-stich cotton washcloth, but hey....

it's a bit of a big deal.
Why?  Well:

a) it is an accessory that was knit to commemorate the completion of our new bathroom, and it looks perfect in my new little bath caddy
and...
b) I was only able to knit this because the numbness in the fingers of my right hand has decreased!

It's not gone, but it's decreased.  I believe that all kudos go to my new ScarDoc/Myofascial Release Wizard who has been digging into my scars, and even more importantly I believe, digging into some restrictions in my neck. This week my fingers felt like they were "waking up" after having been asleep like Rumplestilskin.  There has been some tingling and itching, but it's all feeling like a really good sign to me.

I'm still in the process of getting the MRI decoded (I do have a copy of the comments from the department that performed it, and I only have that copy in my hot little hands because I forced the issue).  My primary Kaiser doc is putz...she still hasn't called me to discuss the MRI with me, but instead, with no discussion whatsoever, I have been scheduled for another appointment with yet a another specialist. This time it's a neurologist...but again, my doctor, who ordered the referral hasn't told me why.

I just made arrangements this morning to switch to a new primary care physician at Kaiser. I've had it with this one.

But back to the happy!!! Back to the happy!!! Kaiser aside....YAY for alternative treatments!  I have another appointment with the ScarDoc today (outside of regular insurance...kachink$!$! *sigh*), and if she builds on what was done last week, I have high hopes for improvement.

Washcloth completed, I am now finishing a lingering sock project, and I am planning on casting on for something new this evening! :-)

 

retired

Sorry for the delay in getting this post up and running! I wrote it and thought I hit publish, but I guess I actually hit save and sent it to the drafts file. Duh! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today was not so great.  It was one of those "everything that can go wrong, will" sort of days, and by early evening I had just resigned myself to that fact and laughed every time one more thing went wrong (mercury retrograde, anyone?!)

The morning started with MyFavoriteKid slamming drawers and getting frustrated because his "dresser: has basically burst open and exploded everywhere.  His clothing storage system is basically a tower of wire basket drawers that are built into his closet.  It normally works fabulously.  But lately he's run into that dilemma where he has more clothes than space.

We took a few minutes this evening and sorted through everything, got rid of the old and tattered, and it was a shock to both of us how much stuff there was that was ancient.  He's a junior in high school and we found a few t-shirts with the middle school logo on them!!

We know how this happened. MyFK and I used to have this plan: we used to purge his clothing twice a  year. Once in June, right after his birthday...and once again near Christmas.  He almost always received new clothes on those holidays, and he was always on a break for school, so there was always time to do it.  Until High School started. Then all the school breaks filled up with band rehearsal stuff, and we stopped the ritual!!

Two big bags are now in my car for Goodwill, and MyFK can actually see what he's got (and no more exploding baskets of clothes).   Sorting was easy. He's not the type to hold onto sentimental clothing.  Except he got stuck with these:

He didn't know what to do about the socks I knit for him years back, which you can see are clearly way too small (he wears a men's 12-1/2 now!!).  He hemmed and hawed about whether to keep them tucked away in the back of the drawer or to donate them or pass them along to one of the families we know with young kids....and he finally asked me to get down his "box of sentimental things" that I've been adding to over the years and put them in there ;-) 

tardy

Ok, I'm going to have to owe you one.

I hosted a really fabulous party at TheNewDiggs today...a "Crafternoon" Potluck.  What a great time.  Lots of really good food savory food and an outrageous amount of desserts and beverages. I actually got some knitting done, the house totally put back in place, and then I watched the Emmy's.  The next thing I know, I'm passed out on the couch.

I dont remember the last time I've been exhausted from having a GOOD TIME.




I could get used to this.

snaps on saturday

sssnore

I'm not quite sure how I made it to 11pm, and running pretty hard I might add, when I only had 3-1/2 hours of sleep last night!

Last night sucked.  It was one of those where I got the jumpy stabbing pains in my shorty leg.  I finally took something, and then I wasn't hurting, but my head was spinning a bit from the meds every time I closed my eyes, so I couldn't nod off.   And then there it was, the sun coming up. The kid to get off to school, and a whole day ahead of me.

Knock on wood that this was a one-night thing, like it usually is.  I don't think I can manage two of those days together!

a beautiful moon

Ahhh, it's been a really good full moon.

Because I drop MyFavoriteKid off at school so early (for band practice before first period), I got to see the moon setting this morning as the sun was coming up. It was stunning.

And then I saw the moon again tonight on the way to dance class and on the way home, too....and tonight we circle danced together to honor the fall equinox. It was great. We often extend the invitation to former members of the troupe, so we full house, and dancing felt juicy good :-)

I'm really looking forward to fall...after all of the running around of summer, it feels like it's due time to "tuck in" to a slower season.

things like this tickle me pink

I have a friend who is coming for a visit this weekend. She just recently had leg surgery and is using a wheelchair and/or other mobility devices. In an email to me today she wrote:

Would it be possible to me to come in the back via the ramp?  Thought of asking you if your house was wheelchair accessible, then gave myself a dope slap.  Shows I don't think of you as disabled, just another good friend.



:-D

fun with machines

I got the MRI today, trying to sort out why I have two numb fingers on my dominant hand. Results in 2-3 days.

I don't know why some people are so freaked out by having an MRI. Quite frankly, I find it relaxing.  In fact, I'd describe it like being in a vibrating/massaging tanning bed while listening to techno music. 

I know. I'm weird.
Even the technician said he'd never heard that.  ;-)

travel fatigue

I guess that what you call it. Travel fatigue. Or something. It can't be "jet lag" because I never changed time zones. 

Whatever it is, I'm weary from two days of flying, driving in rental cars, crying, and shoring myself up around family issues.  Whacked, I tell ya'.  I fell asleep on the couch around 7:30, got up to feed the pups, and now I'm off to bed, for realz.

G'night y'all. More soon. *mwah*

here's to long journeys, all the way around

This post appeared earlier today on facebook, and I am sorry for being such a slacker of a blogger by posting the same thing here as well...
but the last two days have been long and hard and there hasn't been much sleep for me, either. 
I'm just out of energy. 

My boobyprize at the airport (gifted to me BY me) for surviving a fairly sucktastic weekend, INCLUDING missing my flight due to a 4hr full freeway closure.

I was in WA with my beloved Grammy when she crossed over yesterday. She was super special to me and loved by an unusually large number of people (huge extended family!)

This has been hard. I love all of you, my family of choice, for posting and emailing and calling and sending vibes and supporting me. I have felt you with me. XXO

snaps on Saturday

My Grammy Faye (left), circa 1980-something, I'm guessing...with her sister. Depending on who you ask, my Grammy crossed over either 2 minutes before I arrived, or 2 minutes after. I'm in the 2 minutes after camp. I felt her chest moving underneath my hand and when I played her audio messages recorded just for her that were from my Mom, Dad, MyFavoriteKid, and TheMostImportantGuy, I asked her if she could hear them and she made a swallowing noise...and when I asked her again, she swallowed again. Maybe she was 6 inches outside her body, who knows. I am here withh family through tomorrow late morning. In a bit of a state. More to process.

over the river and through the woods...

...to grandmother's house we go.


I'm on my way to see my grammy up in Bellingham first thing in the morning. She's 98 and fully prepared for her final crossing.  I might not make it before she goes.  But I also know she knows I am coming, and I have a hunch she is waiting for me to get there.

Only time will tell.

I have to go to sleep now because I have a very early flight. I'll be blogging from the road with the ipad, so forgive me if words are short as I only have a touch screen keypad on that device and two numb fingertips! 

uhhh....

...it's 11:35pm and I just got home from dance class followed by a quick trip to the market and the ATM machine.

I think I need to be writing blogposts earlier in the day, because this late at night isn't working for me!  Especially when I have to be up at the buttcrack o' dawn to get the kiddo off to marching band practice. Oy! 

I owe ya' one.

bzzzzt!

I've been dealing with a few physical issues lately, one being the fact that two fingers on my right (dominant) hand....the middle and the ring finger....have gone numb.  The tips of them just beyond the knuckle just feel like they're asleep.  It's been freaking me out.  Knitting feels not-so-good, and neither does most things I might do in the kitchen, like slicing and dicing.

This right arm is the same arm that was trashed during the car accident and is full of interesting metal components. I've ruled out a bunch of stuff the regular MD and a host of lab work, plus some work with a physical therapist. Today was the day for a "nerve conduction study".

NOT a fun time.

Basically 45 minutes of being electrocuted (ok, I exaggerate. 45 minutes of being "zapped").  It's quite uncomfortable (putting it mildly) and it included having needles inserted in the nerves and having the current run into them. Like I said, fun times.  At least the doc has been brushing up on his stand-up comedy routine, so he kept things light, but it still sucked.

I had to do this a few months after the car accident.  I didn't like it then, either.


No big answers.  A little puzzling information on the radial nerve between the elbow and the wrist, but he actually thinks the probably might be coming from the neck.  So now off I go for an MRI on the neck. 

At least in there I can lay down and enjoy the whirring  LOL.

my little find

Yesterday I was on the fly in the East Bay and grabbed myself a sandwich to go at Whole Foods while picking up a few hard to find groceries for the week.   The sandwich was kind of "meh".  It was a bunch of caprese ingredients on a baguette, so fresh mozzarella, tomato, and basil. There wasn't a bit of seasoning nor any balsamic vinegar, and because the sandwich was in the pre-pack "to go" area, the bread was very dense and chewy.

I was driving to my next thing, chewing away at this mass of should-be-better but aint-so-good, when I found my mind wandering to Paris.  I will never forget all the little sandwich displays on the sidewalks out front of restaurants, and how you could grab any one of them and you were guaranteed a winner. Oh, the bread. OhMyGawd, the bread in Paris.  *sigh!*

Well!  Today I had a physical therapy appointment, and when I headed for my car I went a different direction than I normally travel, I found myself right on the little patio of La Fable.  All I wanted was a little fo' real french jamon (ham) sandwich, and holy crap.  For 12 bucks I got that annnnnd...

....lobster bisque and a tuna sandwich, too!!

Oh man, it was SO. GOOD.  I ate the soup and the jamon parisienne, and I just dusted off the tuna for dinner.   I am soooo going back there. Like, ASAP.
  
Why on earth would anyone eat fast crap food?!!!

harping

I don't mean to keep harping about how great my kid is (quite frankly, it's not a quality I fully appreciate in other parents)...but what am I to do?

Oddly enough, the only thing that is really going smoothly in my life right now is my relationship with MyFavoriteKid.  Being that he's a teenager, I find that rather shocking, but I am every so appreciative.

Many other relationships in my life right now are strained or distant, mostly my own doing, I am sure. But this is one relationship that is going well, and I am so glad to not have the added stress of being at odds with a person I live with and am (on some levels) responsible for helping through life.


I just need it to be noted that I am grateful.

a waste of a day

Dang, it just drives me nuts when I lose a day to a migraine.  I woke up with a headache, and by the early afternoon I was full blown migraine status.  I'd swear on my grave that it was caused by some roadside fruitstand snacks we picked up yesterday on the way to Sacramento.  As I sat here today with my head splitting open and feeling super-duper thirsty, I realized that those little asian peanuts and wasabi-everythings were probably loaded with msg (even though the label didn't indicate msg or even any "natural flavorings").

After a ton of water and bit of rest, I was able to get myself out of migraine mode and down to just a plain ol' headache.  I went out and got some fresh air by around 5pm by way of taking the dogs to the dog park.

Even with the migraine, I did manage to clean up the dishes stacked up in the kitchen (which is good because I was dangerously close to having the health department show up LOL), and I was able to do a couple of loads of laundry and vacuum the house.   All in all, not so bad.

I'm hoping that is my medical issue for the week, right there.  I need to have a smooth sailing week this week! I have a crap-ton of stuff going on every day this week, including a few extra appointments and quite a bit of driving.  There will be no time for feelin' bad!!

nighty-night....

snaps on saturday

Scene from niece's 18th birthday party :-)

tomorrow...the beginning of the end

I'm just exhausted.  This 5:30am wake-up thing to get MyFavoriteKid off to Zero-Period band practice (before school) is really a challenge for me, especially on Fridays because I have dance class so late on Thursday nights.  I'm just wiped!   

Last night was extra special.  It's been so hot here at YeOldeHaus I've needed to sleep with the windows open, and since I'm basically butted up against a field here, that means the nighttime critters are audible.  Last night there was a skunk in the yard, which I first heard, and then smelled...in the middle of the night...and then the dog went nuts barking out the window at him/her for a bit.  My six hours of sleep was reduced substantially.

I'm hoping to get a bit more rest tonight.  I get to "sleep in" (?!) until a luxurious 7am tomorrow, but at 8am I have to meet the painter over at TheNewDiggs to settle up on THE FINAL PHASE OF REMODELING there.  Next week the hallway and all its many doors and closets gets painted out, as well as the stairwell and railings, and the newly sanded and stained stairs will get a few final coats of sealer. 

And then, my friends...we are DONE.  

There may be a few more tasks we do ourselves, and we may have our handyman friend friend in for a little bit of this and that as things turn up, but once the paint dries next week, we are officially done with contractors for a mighty long while.

Now I just need to decide how to celebrate.  After 2 years of remodeling, this really truly does need to be commemorated!!


(pardon typos and errors if there are any. it's 11pm and I'm going straight to bed without even proofing I'm so beat. hope it made some sense! LOL)

da band

Because I am exhausted, I'm skipping the writing and posting another pic of MyFavoriteKid.

that's him dead center

Okay, okay.

I'm not just posting this pic because I'm tired.

I'm also posting it because I am proud :-)

 

busy day, busy night!

Bright and early, another friggin' doctor's appointment (there have been a lot lately).  Today's was just a check in my regular MD, but that was followed by a visit to the lab and then the injection clinic to boost my tetanus. 

Finished that and did a bunch of running around to a couple of big box hardware stores, then straight from there over the high school because it was the first open meeting of the campus knitting club!

They did a presentation about upcoming projects where they knit for charity, they were all prepared with hand outs and yarn, and earlier in the day the sold headbands as a fundraiser. Cool, right?? (that grey one mighta came home with me LOL)

Then back home for just a quick pitstop, then on to a City Council meeting....where I spoke at the little podium! 

I dont think I've ever done that before!!  It was a meeting about a new business going in on the corner near TheNewDiggs. The best I can tell from the corporate website, it going to be sort of a glorified Dollar Store or mini-Walmart-ish type of thing, with mosty processed and packaged and frozen foods and very little of anything fresh.  Oh, and the big deal is that they want a license to sell beer and wine, even though our neighborhood has already been deemed over-saturated with liquor licenses. 

It all passed, it's going in...but it was really nice to hear the planning commission peeps recognize our concerns about garbage and traffic, etc. And it was nice to make our faces known to the guy who is in charge of rolling out new stores ('cuz now he knows I'll be bringing any garbage I find in my yard to his manager).

It's sad we aren't getting a real little mom and pop grocery store in there (that's what used to be there in the 50's and 60's), but such is life.  At least I'll be able to buy a roll of emergency toilet paper without getting in the car, I suppose.  And at least the corner will have a little landscaping and wont be a target for graffiti anymore!


I'm super whooped. Off to bed! 5:30am wake up times in BandMomMode are sorta ruling my nightlife! 

while you were out....

While we wait for proper bathroom pics, I probably have enough blog fodder saved up from "the long dry summer" to keep us all busy here for awhile.

One big deal that happened while I was gone was that MyFavoriteKid finally got his learner's permit. Somewhere there is a pic of me in the backseat of the Driver's Training Vehicle crapping my pants (the instructor insists parents ride along for the first one so you can see how he teaches, and then hopefully become a better teacher yourself).

I cant find that pic, but in its place, here's a pic of MyFK on registration day and then on the first day of school.

I can hardly believe he's 16 and a high school junior this year.
YIKES!!! 
Where. Does. The time go?!!

He's a really good kid. A couple of weeks ago when the bathroom remodel was spinning out of control, he came in the house and said, "Do you need anything? Just a hug, maybe? "  I said, "I don't even know what I need anymore."  He said, "Well, I think you need a hug and you don't even know it. Here. I'll give you one. I'm worried about you."

Dang! Compassionate, smart, funny...and ten times less impulsive then his mother, often opting to sleep on something and reassess things in the morning.  I don't know where he gets that from, but it sure 'aint from me...and his dad says it 'aint from him either.   I think it might come from being in drumline?? (a very disciplined practice)

Anyhow, I love him bunches.
And 16 feels a lot closer to 18 than 15 was.

a little detour

I totally forgot to take more bathroom shots today. Why? Because I spent the day with my new best friend:

ohhh, how I love thee (let me count the ways!)

I bought this baby a couple of weekends ago.  I've been looking at something like this for years.  It's a gas grill on one side, charcoal on the other, and there is a smoker attached that can also be used like a mini sized grill, like a hibachi or something.  Normally barbeques like this that I have seen are just gargantuan....and quite a chunk of change to boot. Being that I had just built the kitchen of my dreams, it seemed silly to be spending so much money on something that would take me out of my beloved kitchen after all that effort.

But a month or so ago, I ran into this little number. It's smaller than the other ones like it I'd had my eye on.  It didn't have the gas side burner off to the side (just a little flip up tray table instead), making it less expensive, and that was just fine by me, because most people have told me they rarely use their side burners anyhow.  Still, I resisted and walked away from it. Then a couple of weeks ago, it went on sale.  They'd knocked fifty bucks off.  And then they also allowed me to use a 20% off coupon towards the sale price...woohoo!  It went from $300 to $200 just like that, and I could no longer resist.
 I love grilling. Love LOVE  LOVE grilling.  I love using charcoal whenever I have the time, but I also loves me the speed of a gas grill when I don't the time (easy clean up! yay!).

So this morning I woke up, got on the ipad and picked out a few recipes I'd seen on a cooking show recently.  I dashed out of bed. I didn't even make a cup of coffee. I went straight to the store (coffee shop next door), bright and early before the crowds could get in there. Then I texted and called people to see who was available last minute to come over and join us.  And then I started cooking (forgetting all about the bathroom).

I made:
Apricot Mint Gin Sours (huge hit...made it just as is, but then we added fizzy water to it)
Honey Glazed Grilled Fig Salad (subbed arugula for the mizuna), and...
Grilled Pizza with Shaved Asparagus

 me 'n mom in the kitchen...photo compliments of Kimberly

The pizza recipe, I tweaked a bit. First, I didn't bother making my own dough. I love to cook, but I'm still a slacker. I bought the pizza dough.  I used truffle salt on the pizza dough instead of kosher salt.  I blanched the asparagus tips and used them as a topping in addition to the asparagus shavings. I couldn't find the cheeses called for so I tried the "featured cheese of the month" at Trader Joes called an "Elderflower Tomme", and I used parmeseano reggiano instead of romano.  I shredded the cheeses rather than using slices.  I tossed the parsely and the lemon zest together so the zest would spread would distribute more evenly, and I sprinkled that mixture on after grilling along with the asparagus shavings. Let me tell ya'...the lemon was an amazing addition (my new favorite thing on a veggie pizza) not nearly as odd as it sounds.

these two pics are also compliments of Kimberly

the first is the crust being grilled getting ready for toppings...

the second is the crust topped with the asparagus tips and cheeses on a sheet pan in the barbeque getting all nice and metly!  It was then pulled off the heat and topped with the asparagus shavings, parsely, and lemon zest

Oh, and then I grilled a NY strip for MyFavoriteKid to have alongside a caeser salad, as there is no way in hell he's an adventurous of an eater to eat figs, arugula, or pizza without red sauce ;-)

Kimberly and Sandy came over, as well as my parents.  We stuffed ourselves, then we sat with our cocktails and let our legs dangling in the pool. Pretty great day :-)


Except that in all the hubbub I forgot bathroom photos!!  Gah.  I'm not sure what day this week I'm back over there again, but they will indeed be coming soon!

if it looks like a bathroom....

and it smells like a bathroom (ewww! LOL).....

well....
then it's probably a new bathroom!!!

FINALLY. 
Today, after 14 weeks of mess and stress, we have finally achieved a completed bathroom!!!  The crowing elements when on today...the mirror, the towel rings, etc. It's stunning. I wish you all could come see it.

More pictures tomorrow in the light of day, but as for tonight, I am relishing in my first ever soak in my vintage cast-iron tub (it's original to the house, and in the most amazing condition).  Special thanks to TheMostImportantGuy who washed the last contractor's bootprints out the tub for me so I can enjoy this tonight!

Calgon.....take me away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a public announcement (so that it sticks)

I hereby proclaim that I will be back and blogging daily, come rain come shine, come highs come lows, come suckass contractors come beautiful bathroom (but please oh please, let it be a beautiful bathroom, already...sheesh!)....

Sunday September 1st.


You can hold me to it ;-)

something like an update

Long time, no blog...eh?

Hello, friends (and hello, blog! I almost forgot how to log in. Sheesh!)

I left rather unceremoniously, didn't I.  Sorry about that. I really didn't mean to freak anyone out.  I stopped due to problems with the blogging service, and then I kept away day after day for different reasons at different times. The list is long.

Over the last week or so I'd been thinking I'd start back up again Aug 1, but to be honest, I'm still not quite there yet.  I have a couple more weeks left of a hectic summer before MyFavoriteKid goes back to school, and I have a couple more weeks left of this danged bathroom renovation at TheNewDiggs.   The damn thing was supposed to be a 4-weeks-or-so project (maybe a bit longer as our sub-contractors have been on summer schedule with their families) but this is now week 10, and it will probably be 12 weeks in total before we're done.  Quite frankly, there's been so much drama and stress around this renovation at times, I even get sick of hearing myself even thinking about it, let alone talking about it, and there is no way I have wanted to reinforce my angst by typing it up.  And you can thank me for sparing you. Truly.

A couple more weeks. I'm giving myself that. It's a good thing. For all of us.
Look for me mid month or so ;-)

X's & O's to all of you, and thanks so much for the notes checking in on me. Love you guys :-)